[TheLionsDen]

Greetings, (a bit long, thanks for reading)

I've "followed" game teachings since about 2007. Looking back, I never really applied the theories or practices, but rather regurgitated them to the younger guys of my fraternity.

"Don't pay more than $30 on a date."
"Respond to LJBF with "I have enough friends, thanks"
"Don't move in together."
"Let her sweat, text her later."

....etc.

In fact, most of the game ideals, I used to advance my professional/academic career. I graduated from a shitty state school, with two very demanding degrees (International Finance & Operations Management), and landed a job with a fortune 100 company before I graduated.

But I never really had a stable of women, I'd go relationship - unattached - relationship. Usually lasted all of 2-3 months, not really worth calling a "relationship" but - I still find sex to be significant, and yet on the other had, I didn't. I don't really think about these girls unless I'm jerking the bro.

In my senior year, I got a girlfriend, who was a lot of fun in the sack, shared my values, etc. But as college came to end - she moved, we grew apart, and eventually I got a text saying: "I can't be your girlfriend anymore, my heart isn't in it." We were together 24/7 for about 13 months. I saw myself regressing into a beta-approval-"you're so awesome babe" guy over the relationship. And since she was still fucking me like a machine, I figured - hey it doesn't matter anymore.

I was upset, no lie - I thought my life was over, etc. Thankfully I had a great friend who slapped me back into reality. All this happened about 10 months ago. Since then I've really just focused on work, literally - lived and breathed it, got 3 new securities licenses and will be taking professional designation courses this fall. Professionally speaking, I'm doing well.

Everything else........meh

By all accounts, I have everything going for me. I'm a good looking guy, I'm taller than 95% of women out there, I have a deeper voice, I'm sharp, I speak well ...etc etc. I'm working out to gain muscle, but it's a slow and demanding process, one that frankly, I'm not 100% committed to, at least on the nutrition side.

The problem is this - I'm a boring person now. I went to school away from my home, and moved back into the area for the job. No I lied - I was always a boring person, I just always had shit to do, so I felt "exciting."

I don't really have shit to do on the weekends. Rather, I don't want to do the shit that is in front of me on the weekends - house parties, clubs, etc.

I know I am probably a little high on myself but I want to ask this question:

If you were starting fresh - where would you start to improve your life? Your first three moves on the chess board.

I want to be that guy having a crazy good time in lord knows where, but when I'm honest with myself, it's not even about me having a good time/experience, it's about being able to show others, how much fun I'm having. And that's what bothers me, I almost feel like everything I've done up to this point, has been to seek the approval of others.

Side-bar: I know how critical and difficult it is to kill the need for approval. But how?

Again, thanks for your time.

[WesternCancer]

I was in the same situation when I first started.

Your biggest enemy is stagnation, always be improving yourself in one way or another.

Aside from going out anywhere and approaching (youll eventually see opportunities you never thought were there) I would make goals and then:

1) start working out HEAVY, take care of your nutrition etc. Find a workout program like Stronglifts or starting strength that will eventually make you test your limits. If you ever lose motivation to do this read "the iron" by henry rollins. or get into some kind of martial art/boxing deal.

2) Learn some skills or become knowledgeable in something: cooking, doing some kind of work with your hands, another language, skiing whatever you're in to.

3) Read and write daily. Write a journal about whatever is going on in your life. Write about approaches, how your workouts are going, reflect on what you're learning. If you notice certain trends write them down. Try to figure out why you do things or when certain things come up. It will help you acknowledge insecurities etc.

[Screwston]

Work out
Find YOUR hobbies and interests, not anyone elses
Be happy. Lifes to short to over think shit. Find things that make you happy

Westerncancer - what's that book by Rollins? I met him at a show about 8 yrs ago and was surprised by how small he was lol. He's got the thin muscles but weird looking tree neck.

[WesternCancer]

Yeah, I saw a spoken word with him a year back with my ex, definitely agree with you on the neck thing. He seems like a super cool dude and travels all over the place as well.
He actually has a lot of writing, the same ex that took me was really into him. Anyways "The Iron" is a short story he wrote about lifting, I find it really motivating.


http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength...ry-rollins

"It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn't teach you anything. That's the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you."



"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. "

[TheLionsDen]

Hey thanks a lot for the link, I'll check back in this week.

[soup]

I'd give myself an exploratory phase.

What gets your passion going? If you aren't sure then, try some stuff out.

You have to look at the root causes of approval seeking. Evolutionarily speaking, the need for approval, or the fear of rejection came about because if you were living in a prehistoric group of 50 people, you risked the fate of not getting a mate or being killed if you weren't accepted.

There are many more people in the world now, and there are more women than men. However, this vestigial mechanism still works on us when it comes to girls. Recognize the reality of the situation: You aren't going to die if you are rejected by a girl. If she rejects you, it doesn't matter, because there's an infinite supply of other pussy out there. This is why it is called "The Game"; you can always start a new set. Live the life of abundance.

You have to train yourself to tolerate rejection. Make it a goal to go out and get rejected by 20 girls on the street so you can get used to it and realize that it's really not a big deal. It is to be expected. Learn to love the feeling of rejection, because if you are getting rejected a lot, it means you are approaching a lot, and that means that you are already 90% closer to getting more pussy than most guys.

[soup]

I just heard this interview on Fresh Air with a guy who wrote a book about Habits and how to break them: http://www.npr.org/2012/03/05/147192599/...?ft=1&f=13

Maybe there's some good stuff in that book.

[Sphere]

You've stated the problem clearly. You perceive yourself as a boring person.

So quit being boring.

You say you want to be the guy having a crazy good time but that you just want to be doing it to show others that you're good at having a good time.

Figure out what you love doing more than anything else in the world, have a great time doing that and do it around women. Or bring that to the party when you go. Figure out a way to weave it into your conversation. They'll respond to passion.

Do what you love and love what you do. Life is not a dress rehearsal. It's a one way trip.