[kimleebj]

I have had some good online dates. We greet with a hug and have drinks in a booth at a restaurant, bar, or concert. The conversation is personal or emotional with kino. For example, we might share anecdotes about getting caught with drugs, or sex, or having crushes, or bad dates, etc. While the timing and logistics may not produce a bang, there is certainly kissing and high expectations for the future.

In other cases the whole thing feels stiff. The greeting involves a handshake. The conversation has an interview feel, like "Name your favorite movie". The woman hardly drinks. She seems cautious and apprehensive. She fails to clearly telegraph her desire for a parting kiss. The whole experience is just a lame waste like a typical Washington Post Date Lab.

It is easy to dismiss the woman as a cold fish. But sometimes she is hot and likes me. In some cases I have recovered on future dates.

I can tell when a weak date is happening, but don't know how to steer things better. I wonder if I should manage things better, being bolder, more physical, and setting a better tone. It's like we need a giant icebreaker. Is it possible to change a cold, lame, boring date into a warm, intimate, exciting experience? Or are some women just cold, or some couples just don't click, and I should just bail out?

[thegmanifesto]

Problem:

(02-28-2012 04:47 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

online dates.

[el mechanico]

I say find a way to skip the formal stuff and hit the ground running. Bounce from place to place and avoid the interview on both sides.

[Moma]

(02-28-2012 04:53 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Problem:

(02-28-2012 04:47 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

online dates.

I agree with G on this. I used to do online dates even though in my heart, I knew they were shyte. Out of all my online dates, most of them have been bullshyt.
I usually end up with the shytty end of the stick (fat, social issues, gang of kids).

[MrXY]

Online dating is a screening process- you're trying to find those girls that you vibe with and who are ready to have sex quickly

There is going to be a natural attrition at each stage of the process- which is why you need to send out a lot of messages and keep a lot of online girls in your funnel at times

regardless of how well the online messaging went, when you meet in person you just won't hit it off with some of these girls- just continue to tweak your first meeting game and accept some are going to drop out-

If you're not clicking with her it's going to be apparent in the first 15 minutes at most- just set first meetings up so that you can bail out quickly or escalate physically quickly if things are going well. Plan so logistics are as easy as possible

My online conversion rate from in person meeting to bang is 40-50%- usually by the second date.

A lot of these online girls are DTF- justly dump the ones that aren't quickly and don't worry about it.

To get specific, you should not be sitting in booths or at tables- you can't kino her and sitting face to face sets up an "interview" or even confrontational scene. Sit next to her at a bar. Bounce to several venues. no concerts or movies. no sit down dinners at a table (appetizers are good). Involve alcohol as soon as possible. Meet at night or at least late afternoon so you'll be together after dark - darkness makes sex much more likely

Keep pressing on and good luck

[Neo]

(02-28-2012 05:44 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Online dating is a screening process- you're trying to find those girls that you vibe with and who are ready to have sex quickly

There is going to be a natural attrition at each stage of the process- which is why you need to send out a lot of messages and keep a lot of online girls in your funnel at times

regardless of how well the online messaging went, when you meet in person you just won't hit it off with some of these girls- just continue to tweak your first meeting game and accept some are going to drop out-

If you're not clicking with her it's going to be apparent in the first 15 minutes at most- just set first meetings up so that you can bail out quickly or escalate physically quickly if things are going well. Plan so logistics are as easy as possible

My online conversion rate from in person meeting to bang is 40-50%- usually by the second date.

A lot of these online girls are DTF- justly dump the ones that aren't quickly and don't worry about it.

To get specific, you should not be sitting in booths or at tables- you can't kino her and sitting face to face sets up an "interview" or even confrontational scene. Sit next to her at a bar. Bounce to several venues. no concerts or movies. no sit down dinners at a table (appetizers are good). Involve alcohol as soon as possible. Meet at night or at least late afternoon so you'll be together after dark - darkness makes sex much more likely

Keep pressing on and good luck

^^

MrXY good post.

You're almost guaranteed to get some dull dates no matter what you do. As you're screening process gets better they tend to decline. Whether you bail out is up to you, I used to never bail out just because I wanted as much experience as I could get. Nowadays though if it seems hopeless i'll just bail. Having a load of prospects seems to solve most issues.

[MikeCF]

If you want a good date, do what I do.

This goes against what experts say.

For me, it works.

I run hard text message game. I build extreme attraction over text.

Roosh and The G are not into this method. Roosh has said that attraction can be lost over text, but not gained. G says to call, you dopes.

But texting works for me, and I'm able to build attraction.

This often means "blowing bitches out." That is, be direct, tell them what to do, and if sex comes up, don't hide from it.

Many girls will run away.

Those are the same girls who are dud dates.

I'm going to go through my texts to give examples (one of these days).

One example. It might be too late to use it, but it works great near the holiday:

"What was your Halloween costume?"

If she sends you a pic, she is feeling you. Run some playful game.

If she gives a boring answer and/or no pic, she's going to be lame.

[MrXY]

Mike I'm sure lots of guys would like to see your text lines and transcripts

I've been limiting my texting to logistics because I felt that i screwed the pooch by bad texting game too many times

Texting is so huge now -I would like to master it

I like your concept of using text to screen the DTF girls

Go ahead and bust out that texting manual when you get a chance

[Kish]

(02-28-2012 06:03 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

But texting works for me, and I'm able to build attraction.

This often means "blowing bitches out." That is, be direct, tell them what to do, and if sex comes up, don't hide from it.

Many girls will run away.

Those are the same girls who are dud dates.

I'm going to go through my texts to give examples (one of these days).

One example. It might be too late to use it, but it works great near the holiday:

"What was your Halloween costume?"

If she sends you a pic, she is feeling you. Run some playful game.

If she gives a boring answer and/or no pic, she's going to be lame.

If you could make a thread about this I'd be grateful. Would be an automatic +1 from me. I need to improve my text game and screening process.

[Chad Daring]

(02-28-2012 04:53 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Problem:

(02-28-2012 04:47 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

online dates.

C'mon G dont be so old skool (I know that'll never happen)


Screen better is my advice. I learned this from Gmac. The advantage you have with online dating is variety and availability. An online dating site has more possible dates then any bar ever will, so dont be in a rush to take the first one.

If a girl gives you a weir vibe and she's not at least an 8 in her pics (which means she's gonna be a 5 or a 6 in actuality) then fuck it, bail, there will be other ones, throw out some messages and you can get another one on the hook that night.

This is what Mike is saying too, he's weeding out all the ones that wont serve his purpose, and accepting the fact that you'll lose more this way, but you'll be spending your time more efficiently.

I find flirting in the first few texts (not website messages mind you) is a good indicator. I like to abruptly end the conversation with "Alright Im getting in the shower, talk to you later" fun girls will make some comment like "dirty boy " or just some general flirt, boring prudes will say something like "Okay talk to you tomorrow"

Its like picking a puppy. You bring a ball with you and throw it, the one that chases it down and brings it back is the fun energetic one you want to take home.

[thegmanifesto]

(02-28-2012 07:23 PM)rakishness Wrote:  

(02-28-2012 06:03 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

But texting works for me, and I'm able to build attraction.

This often means "blowing bitches out." That is, be direct, tell them what to do, and if sex comes up, don't hide from it.

Many girls will run away.

Those are the same girls who are dud dates.

I'm going to go through my texts to give examples (one of these days).

One example. It might be too late to use it, but it works great near the holiday:

"What was your Halloween costume?"

If she sends you a pic, she is feeling you. Run some playful game.

If she gives a boring answer and/or no pic, she's going to be lame.

If you could make a thread about this I'd be grateful. Would be an automatic +1 from me. I need to improve my text game and screening process.

Oh no.

More "text message heroin" for the fiends.

[Samseau]

(02-28-2012 06:03 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

If you want a good date, do what I do.

This goes against what experts say.

For me, it works.

I run hard text message game. I build extreme attraction over text.

Roosh and The G are not into this method. Roosh has said that attraction can be lost over text, but not gained. G says to call, you dopes.

But texting works for me, and I'm able to build attraction.

This often means "blowing bitches out." That is, be direct, tell them what to do, and if sex comes up, don't hide from it.

Many girls will run away.

Those are the same girls who are dud dates.

I'm going to go through my texts to give examples (one of these days).

One example. It might be too late to use it, but it works great near the holiday:

"What was your Halloween costume?"

If she sends you a pic, she is feeling you. Run some playful game.

If she gives a boring answer and/or no pic, she's going to be lame.

See, this is advanced dude. Giving away this info to guys who are too chicken to approach is only going to hurt them.

[ronjon548]

I disagree with using texts for logistics. I think texting is probably the worst format for arranging a time, date, and place. If you use texts sparingly, they should be brief and to the point. You can get into too many clarifying questions with logistics.

I'm really interested to see transcripts of this hard text game. I've heard of guys doing this successfully, but it's really rare and has to demand a certain skillset, threshold.

Sometimes girls from the dating sites are hard to read. I went out with this girl on the first date. She bounced to a 2nd location for drinks with me. We hugged goodbye. But on the second date I banged her after a movie at my place. Touching turned into kissing turned into....

Are some girls just completely random? Where the only rules you can really go by are gauge her reaction, escalate, then rinse and repeat.

(02-28-2012 10:21 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-28-2012 06:03 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

If you want a good date, do what I do.

This goes against what experts say.

For me, it works.

I run hard text message game. I build extreme attraction over text.

Roosh and The G are not into this method. Roosh has said that attraction can be lost over text, but not gained. G says to call, you dopes.

But texting works for me, and I'm able to build attraction.

This often means "blowing bitches out." That is, be direct, tell them what to do, and if sex comes up, don't hide from it.

Many girls will run away.

Those are the same girls who are dud dates.

I'm going to go through my texts to give examples (one of these days).

One example. It might be too late to use it, but it works great near the holiday:

"What was your Halloween costume?"

If she sends you a pic, she is feeling you. Run some playful game.

If she gives a boring answer and/or no pic, she's going to be lame.

See, this is advanced dude. Giving away this info to guys who are too chicken to approach is only going to hurt them.

[Basil Ransom]

Nowadays, I almost always get girls on the phone before I meet up. I'm good at talking on the phone, and I can ferret out some, but not all, of the ones who will suck.

Make her come to you.

Make her come to you

Make her come to you

Practically every time I deviate from this advice, I regret it. If she ain't hungry enough to come to you, or she's too 'independent,' forget about her.

[iknowexactly]

(03-01-2012 10:30 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

Nowadays, I almost always get girls on the phone before I meet up. I'm good at talking on the phone, and I can ferret out some, but not all, of the ones who will suck.

Make her come to you.

Make her come to you

Make her come to you

Practically every time I deviate from this advice, I regret it. If she ain't hungry enough to come to you, or she's too 'independent,' forget about her.

I like the idea about some kind of phone screening protocol; I just hd a date with a woman who wouldn't even eat part of a pastry because she had a list of things she was avoiding for Lent. Obviously this chick was not down for rowdy fucking .

But could you clarify "making her come to you?"

You mean specifically coming to your apartment/house?

Or just to a location in your neighborhood....?

[Hotwheels]

I agree with MikeCF on this. I've had a lot of success building attraction and getting their sexy time temp up via text. Plus, it weeds out broads that are not down to fuck. I rarely talk on the phone anymore even though I am pretty decent at that game too. Actually much better than in person, which is something I am working on.

I use it on every online hookup I do and have a 90% lay rate on first dates. Basically I use a lot of ambiguity and inuendos and get her to bring up the sex stuff. It's always best to let her go there by doing some prompting that can easily be played off as something else if she calls you on it.

It should note that since I live in a small town with few prospects I am often traveling a bit to meet these broads. Or, I am on the road and staying in hotels for weeks at a time.

If I could figure out how to download a text convo off my phone I'd try posting it. They are way too long to transcribe.

To give you an idea though, had one broad request a pic of my junk so I sent her one of a broad sucking me off. She acted extremely pissed, asking "Why would you send me that?"

"Well, you asked for a pic so I sent you a pic"

She sucked me and I bounced her head of the headboard at the hotel so I guess she wasn't really too upset.

[Basil Ransom]

(03-01-2012 11:32 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I like the idea about some kind of phone screening protocol; I just hd a date with a woman who wouldn't even eat part of a pastry because she had a list of things she was avoiding for Lent. Obviously this chick was not down for rowdy fucking .

But could you clarify "making her come to you?"

You mean specifically coming to your apartment/house?

Or just to a location in your neighborhood....?

Make her come to your hood. I make her come within feet of my house, and we walk from there. This solves almost all of the logistical issues, and keeps out the chicks who will drum up some stupid reason not to drive to you. I'm a 30-40 minute drive for nearly every chick, albeit in a desirable area.

(03-02-2012 12:38 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

I agree with MikeCF on this. I've had a lot of success building attraction and getting their sexy time temp up via text. Plus, it weeds out broads that are not down to fuck. I rarely talk on the phone anymore even though I am pretty decent at that game too. Actually much better than in person, which is something I am working on.

I use it on every online hookup I do and have a 90% lay rate on first dates. Basically I use a lot of ambiguity and inuendos and get her to bring up the sex stuff. It's always best to let her go there by doing some prompting that can easily be played off as something else if she calls you on it.

Is this solely a screening device? Or do you think it makes girls more DTF on the date itself? I could see them feeling subconsciously "Well, I've already been sexting him, so it's not such a big deal to fuck him on the first date..."

I've done innuendo here and there, and the girls will enjoy it, but they won't really push it. I'm going to try pressing harder on that in phone/text convos.

[Hotwheels]

I definitely use it as a screening device as they are often an hour or two away, but it also gets them warmed up and let's them know what I want. There's no way I'm traveling and not getting a piece. Even when they are coming to me they are screened and warmed as I am not a big fan of dates. For some reason I've always been that way; always going for ONS at bars, clubs, online. I know it has probably cost me plenty of lays but that's just the mentality I've always had and it seems hard to break.

The thing to remember is a lot of the broads online are DTF but won't come right out and say it. Actually, I think most all broads are DTF if a guy can talk to them enough but that's beside the point here. If you can get them talking about it they already plan on getting pumped when you do meet. Let's put it this way. If I'm in a hotel it isn't likely she's coming over unless she's planning for some sexy time, so I make sure she's properly warmed up before ever meeting so I don't waste my time meeting her for drinks.

Speaking of hotels, if that is the situation they don't know I'm from out of town until I've tested their sexual openness. Once they start talking about it they are basically ready to go and it is rare for it to be an issue as by then they just want to get laid.

To give you a better idea of what the conversation is like, it's basically just like I'm talking to her in person except via text. These broads text more than they talk on their phones anymore so it pretty normal to them. It can get a little time consuming but it's not like I can't get my other stuff done while having a text convo. I'm self employed so texting whenever I want isn't an issue like it may be for some.

Hope that helps.

[kimleebj]

(03-02-2012 12:38 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

I've had a lot of success building attraction and getting their sexy time temp up via text. Plus, it weeds out broads that are not down to fuck.

I use it on every online hookup

Speaking of hotels, if that is the situation they don't know I'm from out of town until I've tested their sexual openness. Once they start talking about it they are basically ready to go and it is rare for it to be an issue as by then they just want to get laid.

What online site(s)? You are actually planning "dates" based on your travel itinerary, and then casually mention that you don't actually live there, but perhaps travel regularly or are "relocating soon"? Are you selecting only women who seek casual dating relationships instead of long-term? Are these just drink dates, sightseeing, or what?

[Hotwheels]

I use POF and just change my location to whatever town I am working out of. I should note that I travel around the Upper Midwest, not all over the world. Not yet anyway.

Don't go by what they say they are seeking as they will generally put long term just out of habit or to protect their delicate psyche. Most of them are DTF in one way or another. Speaking of that, on POF be sure to not contact those rare ones that say they are looking for an intimate encounter as if you contact one of them it will block you from the majority of broads on there.

When I am out of town meeting these broads the most a date entails is a couple drinks or grabbing a bite to eat at a regular restaurant before heading to the hotel. Yes, I pay on these "dates". For the most part all it does is calm their fears that am I am not a psycho and after work all day I want something to eat/drink anyway so it doesn't come across as something I am doing for her.

Some might call it slow game online but it works for me and the success rate is very high. It's easy to get these broads to wait for you as you have a valid reason for not meeting right away due to distance or work. I always let them know I am busy so meeting is more difficult.