[WesternCancer]

Alright so I've been banging this girl for a month or two now. All is well in that department, but here is the thing I've been having trouble with: she lives in the same apartment as me, I occasionally run into her in the elevator or exiting the building. The main entrance to the building faces the main road. She also stops by unannounced every once and a while.

My place is also a 5 minute walk from 2 bars one of which is a complete whore-fest where its easy to bring girls back, and across the street from the main bus loop where I'd potentially bring a girl from in town.

I'm having trouble figuring out the logistics for this one. I have been banging another girl but she always asks why she can't come to my place and is getting suspicious about it. If I bring a girl through the main doors I risk running into my main girl, but if I bring them through the back doors and take the stairs or something the girl will wonder why I'm sneaking her in. Also if I bring a girl over I run the risk of a surprise visit (and I'm pretty sure the main girl isn't into a threesome).

I also have to take public transit so its a bitch to get anywhere super late if the busses stop running and some girls I've met still live with their parents so thats a no go (one time their grandpa drove me for 40 minutes home, worst cockblock ever)

ANYWAYS. To make this not a "this one girl" thread: I know cheating should not be done at your place, but how would you bring girls back to your place in this situation because of the superior logistics?

[Chad Daring]

Whats the worst that could happen? They both find out and your down two girls, but you said yourself there's a slutfest bar a short walk away.

[WesternCancer]

True, but I'd rather keep up my reputation. I feel being able to sneak a rotation of girls without any of them knowing will help me in the long run by making me think of good excuses for why im busy, my text response time, my mindframe for dealing with women and being creative with logistics etc. Its not that I care about the girls so much as I feel keeping a main girl around and having girls on the side will help progress my game to the next level. I feel I have a good understanding of the main attitudes and concepts, but in practice I am still faltering every once and a while in areas such as my post above. I still see myself as a beginner, I'll only personally be able to call myself intermediate once I a) bang 25 girls b) have a steady rotation c) 5 more ONS etc.

[Amour Fou]

I'll just chip in with some broad strokes on this one, you pick what you think is useful.

I think that the whole problem here is with the "psychology" behind having a "main girl". The moment you tell yourself you have a "main girl" you are giving your power away. (I could stretch it and say you are getting yourself a new "mama"). Just the psychological self-hijacking of pigeonholing a girl like that already makes you lose some of your power, your freedom.

From my standpoint, I don't know what is your issue here. You don't seem to have one. If any, you seem to be creating it.

It is all to do with your frame, your underlying beliefs, your reality.

What exactly is the issue about bringing drunk whores to your flat? Why do you bring that up as anything out of the ordinary? It should simply feel as the most natural thing in the world, like reading the newspaper.

Do you get where I'm heading?

Feel natural about it.

The moment you target -whoever- as a "main" girl, you already project her with so many atributions, and as they pick that up, they unconsciously feel the power you bestowed upon them, and they will treat you accordingly, from a position of power over you, where they can call you out on something.

Once more... what do you mean by "keeping your reputation"? From whom? What for? Essentially, you aren't doing anything dodgy, wrong or suspicious. Unless you feel that way and thus create it, and thus give away your power, your reality, for others to butt in.

You see, the next thing that might go on is you actually feel that you "owe" something to the main girl, as if you'd have to correspond to someone else's expectations ("mama's!"). Giving your power away to others like that also gives ground for resentment to grow. Then drama and all the soup opera crap girls like.

Essentially you aren't doing anything wrong, unless you feel so.

Learn how to not give your power away like that!

And also know this... the more fun and joy you are having (with girls, with life) while being truthful to yourself the less you tend to hurt people. Just be unabashed and open with what makes you happy and with your desires, no need to hide anything from anyone.

[WesternCancer]

I never thought of the "giving your power away" with a self professed main girl. Its almost like im keeping her around as a crutch in case I fail in my other pursuits. I have noticed myself treating this girl differently than the rest, I'm glad I've realized this before she starts taking advantage of that fact.

I do agree I am somewhat creating an issue. I would rather not be caught banging girls on the side, but thats who I am I shouldn't have to be sorry for wanting to bang multiple girls simultaneously.

As for the "reputation" many of the people I have friendships with know me as a nice, caring all around dude so if they came to see that I was banging multiple girls I feel they would treat me differently. Even before game I was very secretive about girls I was with and even girlfriends, no one would really know who I was banging/dating at the time and I didn't feel the need to tell them, I guess it creates a bit of mystery so I don't feel the need to proclaim I BANGED SO AND SO LAST NIGHT. I think this is just an inner game issue that I need to work out: if they don't like me then they are the ones missing out on my friendship etc.

I'm digging your ideas on giving away power by actions/subconscious kind of things. Have you done much reading on the subject or is it just from personal experience?

[CJ]

Most of my friends (male and female) know I'm a slut, and they don't think any less of me for it. If they did, they wouldn't be such good friends, now would they? In fact they've even introduced me to other female friends of theirs, because they know they'll have a good time hanging out with me.


Lots of good stuff already by Amour, and Chad made a good point too.

You've got a few options here, none of them are really that bad.

1. You could simply replace this new girl with one from the "slutfest" bar near your place. That stops the questions right there.

2. You could bring her to your place, and IF you see your 'main' girl, just tell her later you didn't know you had made any rules and were supposed to be exclusive. Even if you lose her, that's ok, because A. You indicated there's no shortage of girls around, B. You've already banged her for awhile, and you'll probably get tired of her soon anyway, and C. She lives in your apt building and that is obviously throwing you off your game.

[WesternCancer]

I think I'm going to take charge and tell her to stop showing up randomly as it disrupts my studying/whatever. It only happens during the day or if something super important happened. The one bad thing about the slutfest bars are the fact that those girls dont bake me things or cook me dinner and wear nice dresses/skirts.

Anyways if I check this chick back into line and only bring girls over late at night or when I know shes away I should have no problem bringing girls over. Speaking of which shes out of town for a week soon... time to get planning.

[Amour Fou]

(02-11-2012 08:26 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

I'm digging your ideas on giving away power by actions/subconscious kind of things. Have you done much reading on the subject or is it just from personal experience?

Reading (Varied sources. I'm a psych undergrand about to graduate and for years I've been very active in studying Yoga, Buddhism and Taoism, which is a great influence) and experience (my own inner questings led me to much insights on game, and also dealing with girls of course).