[Sebastian]

So I would move on if it was a 'some girl' I met.
I am ok if someone tells me 'oh you have oneitis'

Anyways, I met this girl from online dating.
we had a coffee and just clicked very well during conversation.
After some conversation, I took her to my business (restaurant, after closed)
I told her 'let's go to my place' and she was saying 'oh I need to go to work early' After I told her 'oh I meant my business, it's public place' she agreed to come.

After sitting with her 5 min, we started kissing.
I didn't get to see her boobs even though she let me touch outside.
I didn't go near the private area.

One thing made us feel very special. While kissing her, I asked where she was from. It turned out, we went to the same high school.
(we both don't live in that state. so it would be very hard to meet a person from the same high school)

she invited me to come to her house on Sun (this happend on Thu)
We agreed on it and said bye after making romantic kiss.

I felt like I had to send her 'sweet dreams' txt so I did that after she left. (could be a mistake) and I didn't get the txt back.

I called her Next Day (fri) to talk about plans. (another major mistake)
she said she might have a meeting on that day and would let me know by Sat.

I didn't hear from her on Sat.
On Sunday morning, I just sent her saying 'I am not sure if you were planning on getting together today, sorry I had some incidents last night and can't come' I didn't hear from her.

I think I would've made right decisions (not contacting her right away) if it wasn't that romantic. Since we had very romantic moments and I really liked her (vice versa), it messed up my brain.

There was another major mistakes I have to confess to you guys to get the right feedback.

when I was making out with her, I kept trying to pull down the bra so I could kiss her nipple. she kept moving my hands and I kept doing it.(10~20 times, not sure) She told me 'you are incorrigible'
Since she said it in a playful way, I didn't think it was an issue.
We still kissed a lot after that.

When I called her, I asked her if her roommate's was going to be ok about visiting her.
(she is a religious girl and those girls usually don't bring guys home unless they are close.)
I thought about it from 3rd point of view. I think I made it seem like I was going to do something naughty with her. (which wasn't my intention)

So I am guessing, she was very into me from the beginning.
But by contacting her soon after making out, it made me look like I was just after more sexual stuff with her.

I think I should just wait for her to contact me several days or up to a week. If I don't hear from her to that point, what should I do?

Should I apologize to her?
(I wish I could be an Alpha and just walk away but girl like that won't come along for couple years)

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Why are you so concern about ONE girl when the world is full of them? Just saying

[goodfella]

Dont take this to heart, but you blew it with this girl. From what I gather from your story you came one way too strong on your first kiss with her. I would advise for next time to have your first kiss be short so that she left with wanting more not a full on make out where your copping a feel. In her eyes pulling down her bra makes you look like a dude who hasnt touched a women in a really long time. Couple that with the same night texts and contact with her roomate, makes you look desperate in her eyes.

With that said my short advice is for you to move on and learn from this experience. Learn to play it cool for the next girl.

[CJ]

Christ almighty, where to start...



Let's divide and conquer the issues here.

(02-06-2012 07:19 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  

So I would move on if it was a 'some girl' I met.
I am ok if someone tells me 'oh you have oneitis'

First off, read and re-read Miss Chocolate's post as many times as necessary.

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Anyways, I met this girl from online dating.

Online chicks are strictly for banging. I wouldn't even advise seeing one of them after you do bang them.

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we had a coffee and just clicked very well during conversation

Don't do coffee dates unless you're skilled at instantly transitioning out of the coffee shop and into the bar... you didn't do too bad here though getting her to your business.

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After sitting with her 5 min, we started kissing.
I didn't get to see her boobs even though she let me touch outside.
I didn't go near the private area.

WTF... if you're trying to amp her up for sex, you're going to need to 'go near the private area'

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One thing made us feel very special. While kissing her, I asked where she was from. It turned out, we went to the same high school

Don't continue interviewing her while you're making out. You've already done the work needed to get to that point, now try to transition to sex.

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I felt like I had to send her 'sweet dreams' txt so I did that after she left. (could be a mistake) and I didn't get the txt back.

Definitely a mistake. You just met her, this is something you'd text to your wife if you were out of town on business.

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I called her Next Day (fri) to talk about plans. (another major mistake)she said she might have a meeting on that day and would let me know by Sat.

Between the text and the call she has quickly identified you as needy, so yes this was a major mistake.

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I didn't hear from her on Sat.On Sunday morning, I just sent her saying 'I am not sure if you were planning on getting together today, sorry I had some incidents last night and can't come' I didn't hear from her.

Again this is needy, and now she sees through your lies.

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I think I would've made right decisions (not contacting her right away) if it wasn't that romantic. Since we had very romantic moments and I really liked her (vice versa), it messed up my brain.

Condition yourself to care less. There obviously wasn't a mutual romantic moment, and she was an online chick.

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when I was making out with her, I kept trying to pull down the bra so I could kiss her nipple. she kept moving my hands and I kept doing it.(10~20 times, not sure) She told me 'you are incorrigible'
Since she said it in a playful way, I didn't think it was an issue.
We still kissed a lot after that.

This actually wasn't a mistake... keep pushing til those clothes come off or she says stop!

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When I called her, I asked her if her roommate's was going to be ok about visiting her.

This is another mistake, why do you need to ask permission from her? Let alone her roommate?

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I thought about it from 3rd point of view. I think I made it seem like I was going to do something naughty with her. (which wasn't my intention)

See this is the biggest mistake of all, how can you expect to bang her if your intention is to go and what? Hang out, eat pizza and watch Dr. Phil?

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So I am guessing, she was very into me from the beginning.
But by contacting her soon after making out, it made me look like I was just after more sexual stuff with her.

I'm guessing she was into you, but not nearly as much as you are into her. She would've given you a second date regardless of the sexual stuff, because she wants to get laid. Your neediness and constant contacting is what chased your fish away.

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I think I should just wait for her to contact me several days or up to a week. If I don't hear from her to that point, what should I do?

Several days, then send a casual text saying "What's up?" and nothing else, just to see if she's open to communicating with you. If she responds shoot the shit with a few more pointless texts, make sure she sends you the last text and then wait to respond until the next day. The next day, resume the convo and try to make plans.

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Should I apologize to her?
(I wish I could be an Alpha and just walk away but girl like that won't come along for couple years)

You should be slapped for even thinking that. Refocus your mindset, you're the prize here, not her.

[Duke Castile]

+1 CJ

I think that analysis was spot on.

I'll just add that the one thing he did right was trying to pull down the bra to escalate, if she said you were "incorrigible" that means she actually liked it since that is a playful word.

Also, I agree, if you meet a girl you like, you have to appear to at least like them less. Girls interpret that as lower value when you come off as being smitten.

You appeared low value when you sent sweet dreams after a "romantic" kiss. Girls like watching that shit in the movie but in real life BEFORE they're in love. Before a girl is in love they are picking up and analyzing all sorts of social cues and judging you based on them. After she's in love you have a little more room to act like a wimp because then it's "sweet".

Don't fucking apologize, have some dignity. You do that and she'll be making fun of you to her friends.

I think you should forget her and try to correct your mistakes so you can smash the next girl. Girls that dismiss a guy for being nice are a dime a dozen, trust me she isn't special.

[Sebastian]

I don't agree with some of CJ's comment.(I appreciate though) I don't know why guys in pick up community think all women are whores and they want to get laid (so does it apply to your family members as well?)
I think my mind is kind of fucked by some of pickup materials.(just a date? fuck that, bang her on first night!)
For slutty club girls, yes you should go for bang because you probably are not going to see her again. But girls with some values, I think I should've just went for the kiss and left her wanting more. I still carry this 'habit' of pushing her as far as I can go. Sometimes it worked but several times, I lost them because I escalated too fast.
(have you regretted about losing a chick you could bang for a while by not being patient for couple dates? you could have a buffet if you waited but you ended up getting just one meal from her)

I am not a pro at reading women but I am not naive either. I am sure most guy can read women by looking at their face, how they talk, behave & dress.
I went out on sunday night and met this latin chick. By the way she dresses and things she said, I quickly identified her as a bar slut.
I took her to my place and it took me 2 hours of breaking resistance. I knew this girl wanted to get fucked but she was just playing not to be seen easy.
So after fucking her, she sent me a txt next day. Since I wasn't interested in her other than physical, I didn't reply fast and said whatever I wanted.
I could ignore this chick because she was some slut I wasn't interested.

I think I need to work on how not to fall in love with a good chick.

[CJ]

(02-08-2012 08:19 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  

I don't agree with some of CJ's comment.(I appreciate though) I don't know why guys in pick up community think all women are whores and they want to get laid (so does it apply to your family members as well?)

Ugh... sadly it does, heck one of my cousins even admitted to being a total slut when she was younger, and another 'waited til marriage' with her now husband, despite having sex with guys before him. Fortunately I don't have any sisters, and half my female cousins are overweight, so it doesn't bother me too much.

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just a date? fuck that, bang her on first night! For slutty club girls, yes you should go for bang because you probably are not going to see her again.

Applies to internet girls too.

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have you regretted about losing a chick you could bang for a while by not being patient for couple dates? you could have a buffet if you waited but you ended up getting just one meal from her

Not for a long time, and I don't anymore because there's so many other girls that I don't let one bother me.

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So after fucking her, she sent me a txt next day. Since I wasn't interested in her other than physical, I didn't reply fast and said whatever I wanted.I could ignore this chick because she was some slut I wasn't interested.

That's wonderful! Now apply that mentality to every other chick and you'll be golden.


As far as relationships go, read this: Do you want a LTR/girlfriend? Here's how to get one.