[HR-Pennypacker]

I'd appreciate any input/advice from the fine gentlemen of this board on the following scenario. Advice from people I know in real life has been poor at best.


I lost my virginity fairly late in life. I was in college at the time. Shortly after taking the vaccum packing off my genitalia I started dating a girl (let's call her X) in college (this was 2003). She was a virgin at the time and I took her virginity. This was the first time I had ever experienced strong emotions towards a girl and I shutter to think about how beta I must have been. I feel in love and, unsurprisingly, the relationship did not last long. To be frank, even 9 years later, I've never felt as strongly towards a girl as I did towards X.

I provide this as background to my current problem. X and I have many of the same close knit college friends. She is currently married and I'm single (but getting laid regularly though with a quality of woman I'd like to improve). I'm forced to see her more more frequently than I would like. Everytime I run into her it puts me in a terrible mood. I'm infuriated my friends (her friends too) make me see her regularly. What should I do? I can't seem to rid myself (even 9 years later!) of that terrible beta feeling in the gut. Would appreciate any helpful advice.

[ElJefe]

(02-01-2012 10:35 AM)HR-Pennypacker Wrote:  

I'm forced to see her more more frequently than I would like. Everytime I run into her it puts me in a terrible mood. I'm infuriated my friends (her friends too) make me see her regularly. What should I do? I can't seem to rid myself (even 9 years later!) of that terrible beta feeling in the gut. Would appreciate any helpful advice.

What kind of a passive attitude is this?

You are FORCED to see her? At gunpoint, right?

You are still thinking about this girl 9 years later? I can understand guys can beat themselves up for perhaps even a year, but 9 years? Buddy, you have to grab yourself by the balls and make a choice.

Are you going to use this girl as an excuse for the rest of your life or are you going to accept reality and start working on something you can improve. You can channel your energy into pining about one random bitch no one gives a shit about except you, or you can find 5 long-term goals you want to achieve in the next 1 year, and then go after them.

When you start focusing on yourself and your list of achievements grows longer, this bitch will fade in comparison. There are one trillion posts on the internet about some dude's special ex, trust me, your girl is NOT exceptional and all of this in your head. Make yoruself a promise right now:

This is the last time you will EVER mention her name for any reason, to anyone, anytime. You will never ever again waste one word or ounce of energy on her. When she crosses your mind, remind yourself she doens't belong there and think about something else - like all the awesome stuff you're working on and how amazing it's going to be when you get there. All your words, thoughts and energy will from now own to go to each of your 5 long-term goals. This forum is not about getting advice on how to deal with one special girl. This place is about learning how to become a master of your own destiny.

Enough trolling. Welcome to the forum.

[Hades]

I know your situation all too well, since I go to a pretty small college. My only suggestion is to move.

[HR-Pennypacker]

Thanks for the

To be clear, I'm not sitting around pining for this girl when I should be getting shit done. It's more a matter of seeing her at weddings/birthday parties/etc. Yes, I don't have to go to these events but I'm not going to miss the wedding of a good friend just because I don't want to bump into this chick.

More looking for some advice for mental state when I have to make small talk with her at a wedding/bday.

[seelow]

Listen to El Jefe. If you are still thinking about this girl in any sort of way 9 years later and you aren't fucking her things need to change. Fast.

(02-01-2012 10:35 AM)HR-Pennypacker Wrote:  

To be frank, even 9 years later, I've never felt as strongly towards a girl as I did towards X.

In my experience you will hae a hard time feeling the same way about another girl. Not because that one is amazing. But because as you experience you grow and learn. I was head over heels for some girls. But I wasn't as happy with them as I am now. I blame game.

[Smitty]

You have to make a decision:
You see your college friends which means you see her
or
You stop seeing your college friends in order to stop seeing her

If the feelings you have are so deep, then I would move on from that crowd and start pipelining bitches in an entirely different social group. Some wounds you can never completely heal, my friend.