Before touring the circles of dating hell, let's take a stab at the original question, which is, what percent of young single girls are "dating" online. The answer is a lot, if online dating means that they have the apps. The best minds are working to hook young girls on social media. And they're succeeding. Social media (i.e. Instagram, Snapchat) use among high-school girls must approach something close to 100%. Those social media apps allow them the pure buzz of ego. That's the drug on offer. And once that high fades, there's a more potent product available in dating apps (if they're 18, of course). Social media is the gateway drug to online dating.
But the same answer decreases significantly if online "dating" means that they're using the same apps to find dates. Even fewer are using them to find a man. Most are there to soak up attention, with the unstated belief that if some guy out of her league shows up, she will make herself available. So that's what online dating comes down to. Make yourself (or at least the online version of yourself on the app) so much better than her other options that she'll clear her schedule to go out with you. And even then, it's a maybe.
Now let's take a tour of the ninth circle of online dating hell, the experience of an average, charmless man. In place of Vergil, our guide will be this writer, Andrew Kay.
![[Image: 0ffa27_b329ea6890f74c928c320a9b69d8d2f5~...02_s_2.jpg]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/0ffa27_b329ea6890f74c928c320a9b69d8d2f5~mv2_d_2000_1502_s_2.jpg/v1/fill/w_455,h_342,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01/0ffa27_b329ea6890f74c928c320a9b69d8d2f5~mv2_d_2000_1502_s_2.jpg)
He wrote about his experience with online dating, Pilgrim at Tinder Creek.
As you can see, our writer's not unattractive physically. He's tall, well-educated, and in the past, would have been able to find a girl around his age and attractiveness. But now he'll have to settle for much worse. As you will see, his game is clumsy.
Here's how he describes an interaction on OK Cupid.
Unsurprisingly, with such clunky messages, he didn't get any dates on OKC. So he eventually signs up for Tinder. And he gets a match. Here's his description of her.
So he matches with an older chick who's probably a SIF. After some try-hard intellectual banter, she actually asks him out. They agree to a date, and then, in a broken clock is actually right twice a day sort of way, he postpones the date to take care of his newly adopted cat. I'm not making this up. They reschedule.
He rides his bike to bar. And he's having a good time. Until she drops this bombshell.
The only woman he's able to get out is actually a still-married mother of three kids who subtracted nearly a decade from her real age. The previous man had some standards and walked out. Our guide did not. As the date wound down, the matriarch pushes to visit his place.
He bikes home, and she drives in her minivan (he should have put the bike in the van). While there, she pushes for sex, much to his surprise, although he nearly fumbled that too.
And here we've reached the ninth circle of hell, an audition for a forty-something with three kids. That's how far low he has to stoop, and even then she has to overlook some major missteps. And the whole time, he's chasing her, despite the considerable baggage.
He's willing to go out with her again. She's not, a woman who's 42 and who has three kids. A woman who in a normal society should not have options. But she does and brutally flakes.
He gets other dates and some bangs scattered in too. But he's not able to find anything other than brief encounters. So this is how the West ends, with normal men unable to find a girl who'll go out with them for more than a date or two, and even that only when the stars and moon align.
He'll return to swiping and maybe get something used up and 30+ (but I'm repeating myself). So for men like our writer here, they cannot lock down a girl young enough to bear 3 healthy children. And the number of men who fit into this category of purgatory is only growing as girls demand a higher and higher standard to win their attention. Good luck Western Civilization
But the same answer decreases significantly if online "dating" means that they're using the same apps to find dates. Even fewer are using them to find a man. Most are there to soak up attention, with the unstated belief that if some guy out of her league shows up, she will make herself available. So that's what online dating comes down to. Make yourself (or at least the online version of yourself on the app) so much better than her other options that she'll clear her schedule to go out with you. And even then, it's a maybe.
Now let's take a tour of the ninth circle of online dating hell, the experience of an average, charmless man. In place of Vergil, our guide will be this writer, Andrew Kay.
He wrote about his experience with online dating, Pilgrim at Tinder Creek.
As you can see, our writer's not unattractive physically. He's tall, well-educated, and in the past, would have been able to find a girl around his age and attractiveness. But now he'll have to settle for much worse. As you will see, his game is clumsy.
Here's how he describes an interaction on OK Cupid.
Quote:Quote:
“Make me some cannoli,” a young woman demanded without salutation. Was it a double entendre? Was I naïve to wonder? I clicked on her profile: 29, newly minted M.D., had just moved to my city to do her residency; was family-centered, More Suave, dazzling in both scrubs and sequins. A doctor, and a fetching one at that! I felt my poverty and concupiscence in equal measure. That opening line, though—I couldn’t decide whether I was indignant or stimulated. I decided to write back: “Hi! That’s not normally something I do for strangers, but then, most strangers aren’t as cute as you. ? How are you liking this place and your residency so far?” She never wrote back.
Unsurprisingly, with such clunky messages, he didn't get any dates on OKC. So he eventually signs up for Tinder. And he gets a match. Here's his description of her.
Quote:Quote:
It belonged to a woman who’d included only one photograph of herself, and a slightly blurry one at that. In it she appeared to be surrounded by people on either side, people she had her arms around—but she’d cropped them out so she alone was visible, looking off to the side and smiling. Her name was Lindsay and her profile was unusually detailed for Tinder: she was 33 and single and had a degree in classics; she was interested in Diogenes, Catullus and “fun and romance” in equal measure.
So he matches with an older chick who's probably a SIF. After some try-hard intellectual banter, she actually asks him out. They agree to a date, and then, in a broken clock is actually right twice a day sort of way, he postpones the date to take care of his newly adopted cat. I'm not making this up. They reschedule.
He rides his bike to bar. And he's having a good time. Until she drops this bombshell.
Quote:Quote:
“Can I say something?” she said after a time. I looked up. “The last time I said it, the guy got up and walked out on the spot. Will you promise not to do that?” I reflected I didn’t have a choice and promised. “I’m not really 33,” she said. “I’m 42 and I have three kids and technically I’m still married.”
The only woman he's able to get out is actually a still-married mother of three kids who subtracted nearly a decade from her real age. The previous man had some standards and walked out. Our guide did not. As the date wound down, the matriarch pushes to visit his place.
Quote:Quote:
It got late. “Had enough?” I said.
She paused. “I kind of want to meet your kitten.”
I felt my face inflame. “Yeah, of course,” I said. “No problem.”
He bikes home, and she drives in her minivan (he should have put the bike in the van). While there, she pushes for sex, much to his surprise, although he nearly fumbled that too.
Quote:Quote:
“This has been such a nice evening,” I said. “It’d be a shame if we didn’t at least have a kiss goodnight.” She looked at me with an almost ceremonial solemnity, then nodded. We kissed for the next few minutes, sedately at first and then with amplified intensity, then began to get undressed. Undoing my belt, she leaned forward and said into my ear, “I want to know all about what you’re going to do to me. Where are you going to put this?”
Caught off guard, I weighed the question in as literal and academic a fashion as one could, then said—I kid you not, reader, I actually said this, and without a trace of irony—“Your vagina?” She drew away, looking at me, first quizzically and then with slight exasperation. After a moment she recomposed herself, this time addressing me with the unflinching resolve of someone aiming a .44 Magnum: “Come on. This is your audition.”
And here we've reached the ninth circle of hell, an audition for a forty-something with three kids. That's how far low he has to stoop, and even then she has to overlook some major missteps. And the whole time, he's chasing her, despite the considerable baggage.
He's willing to go out with her again. She's not, a woman who's 42 and who has three kids. A woman who in a normal society should not have options. But she does and brutally flakes.
Quote:Quote:
The next weekend, though, she stood me up. I tooled around on my bike all night waiting to hear from her, miserable, and just after midnight she finally texted: “You’re terrific, but I need to act my age and date people as old as I am.”
He gets other dates and some bangs scattered in too. But he's not able to find anything other than brief encounters. So this is how the West ends, with normal men unable to find a girl who'll go out with them for more than a date or two, and even that only when the stars and moon align.
He'll return to swiping and maybe get something used up and 30+ (but I'm repeating myself). So for men like our writer here, they cannot lock down a girl young enough to bear 3 healthy children. And the number of men who fit into this category of purgatory is only growing as girls demand a higher and higher standard to win their attention. Good luck Western Civilization