I want to provide a little background information before I get into the nuts and bolts of this post:
I'm of Persian descent, like Roosh, and a native of DC. I won't disclose where I'm living now because it's information that can easily be used to I.D. me, a risk given how high up this forum's threads are getting in Google search results nowadays (try it). I took the red pill in 2007 right before my 17th birthday when I was exposed to David DeAngelo, after accidentally clicking on a stray link, and buying "Double Your Dating". That got my foot in the door; months later I had the bright idea of Wikipedia-ing DeAngelo and subsequently found out about Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss, etc.; the doors blew open and my life completely changed.
I also stumbled across Roosh's blog accidentally, in 2009. Roosh helped me streamline my game and reform some of the negative attitudes I had built up about myself and people around me, especially with regards to victimization. His material on male self-improvement, feminism, and society were actually much more of an influence on my politics/worldview than my game. For all of my intelligent life I'd self-identified as a democratic socialist/bleeding-heart liberal, and around the same time I stumbled across this blog I also discovered Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly's "Talking Points Memo", John Stossel, Phyllis Schlafly, "It Takes A Family" by Rick Santorum, and a little blog called "Chateau Heartiste". I now staunchly identify as a social/cultural conservative.
I was unnatractive for most of my life: Large, thick, catterpillar-like eyebrows; a round face; short legs; poor muscle structure; thick/matted/unworkable hair; unseemly facial hair (between the brows and about the lips). However, over the course of the last four years -- after a great deal of time, dedication, and surgery-free work -- the reverse has occurred. I am now considered extremely, extremely physically attractive by nearly everyone I meet, am told so immediately upon meeting, and am reminded frequently afterward.
Recently I was tipped off to a blog called "Real Made Men" by this forum, in a thread that addressed some of the disadvantages of being attractive. Prior to reading that thread and that blog I never recognized that game is and should be run very differently by attractive men that women are already naturally inclined to have sex with. Since I've taken the red pill I've shamelessly and brazenly practiced a super-tight brand of super-alpha/caveman game probably best reserved for average Joes. I never understood why so many women were intimidated by me to the point of hatred, assumed I was a player/jerk/asshole/douchebag/tool, and/or were inexplicably cold. I was "The Situation" when all I needed to be was "DJ Pauly D". So in the past week or so, I have dramatically toned things down. I will eventually report to you with results.
Now that I've introduced myself, my real problem -- and the point of this post -- is this: I was bullied viciously and mercilessly as a kid. I was dealing with physical disabilities at the time, unattractive, an academic overachiever, severely stunted in my social development due to having been raised in a fobby environment, and needy/unconfident. For a number of years I seriously considered suicide and wished every day that I didn't have to go to school. I was brutalized and tortured routinely, I had no one stand up for me in any meaningful way, and I had few friendships. My parents moved me to a different school before the 8th grade, where I benefitted from a fresh social environment but still went through a great deal of growing pains. In the still-blue-pill time that followed I grew to be very intelligent and socially aware but nevertheless a bitter, hateful, and anti-social person.
Now that I've reached the top of the mountain and grown a thousand-fold as a man, with all kinds of positive reinforcement and success with women, I realize I still have deep-seated psychological issues. And I know a lot of you are secretly nerds and ex-losers like me who have faced similar problems, so please don't moralize to me or approach this subject as some sort of too-specific anomaly. But I read about some of your experiences with women, your reports -- especially the thread you had a while back about "how to get laid on OkCupid" -- and how some of you get suddenly rejected after makeouts/great dates/emotional investment, and I just can't relate to it at all. When a woman rejects me after I've invested something in her, long after the approach/dating/even banging -- virtually anything short of an indication, subtle or overt, that she is willing to fall for me and/or enter a relationship -- it is an absolutely devastating and crushing experience that's probably the most unsavory aspect of game, to me, and pushes me to the brink of wanting to quit every time it happens. I take it very personally and am extremely hurt by it; I'm certain, though, that these feelings stem from an excessive need for approval that grew as a result of my having been bullied. Now, bear in mind, I have eliminated all approval-seeking behavior from my persona. I am the consummate alpha-dog wherever I am, whatever time of day. But I can't understand how all of you can be so immune to emotional letdowns from girls. I don't understand how you can prevent this from eating at you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
I have deep-rooted insecurities that never show but nevertheless exist and are an outgrowth of my having been bullied in my youth. Many men who idolize you people and read these posts and have "Roosh V" on their Favorites Bar are ex-omegas who deal with these same hangups. I and many other reasonable, intelligent people believe that the field of psychiatry is futile and useless, so don't patronize me with a phone number/email for a shrink. (I even took courses in psychiatric training in college to see what it was all about.) What are some of your suggestions, those of you who have been in the field a long time and have had meaningful relationships with women, for getting over intense emotional responses to the kind of rejection I'm talking about?
Roosh, if you read this: Yes, I'm that Persian guy from Twitter/email. Hopefully I'm not grossly overestimating your memory.
I'm of Persian descent, like Roosh, and a native of DC. I won't disclose where I'm living now because it's information that can easily be used to I.D. me, a risk given how high up this forum's threads are getting in Google search results nowadays (try it). I took the red pill in 2007 right before my 17th birthday when I was exposed to David DeAngelo, after accidentally clicking on a stray link, and buying "Double Your Dating". That got my foot in the door; months later I had the bright idea of Wikipedia-ing DeAngelo and subsequently found out about Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss, etc.; the doors blew open and my life completely changed.
I also stumbled across Roosh's blog accidentally, in 2009. Roosh helped me streamline my game and reform some of the negative attitudes I had built up about myself and people around me, especially with regards to victimization. His material on male self-improvement, feminism, and society were actually much more of an influence on my politics/worldview than my game. For all of my intelligent life I'd self-identified as a democratic socialist/bleeding-heart liberal, and around the same time I stumbled across this blog I also discovered Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly's "Talking Points Memo", John Stossel, Phyllis Schlafly, "It Takes A Family" by Rick Santorum, and a little blog called "Chateau Heartiste". I now staunchly identify as a social/cultural conservative.
I was unnatractive for most of my life: Large, thick, catterpillar-like eyebrows; a round face; short legs; poor muscle structure; thick/matted/unworkable hair; unseemly facial hair (between the brows and about the lips). However, over the course of the last four years -- after a great deal of time, dedication, and surgery-free work -- the reverse has occurred. I am now considered extremely, extremely physically attractive by nearly everyone I meet, am told so immediately upon meeting, and am reminded frequently afterward.
Recently I was tipped off to a blog called "Real Made Men" by this forum, in a thread that addressed some of the disadvantages of being attractive. Prior to reading that thread and that blog I never recognized that game is and should be run very differently by attractive men that women are already naturally inclined to have sex with. Since I've taken the red pill I've shamelessly and brazenly practiced a super-tight brand of super-alpha/caveman game probably best reserved for average Joes. I never understood why so many women were intimidated by me to the point of hatred, assumed I was a player/jerk/asshole/douchebag/tool, and/or were inexplicably cold. I was "The Situation" when all I needed to be was "DJ Pauly D". So in the past week or so, I have dramatically toned things down. I will eventually report to you with results.
Now that I've introduced myself, my real problem -- and the point of this post -- is this: I was bullied viciously and mercilessly as a kid. I was dealing with physical disabilities at the time, unattractive, an academic overachiever, severely stunted in my social development due to having been raised in a fobby environment, and needy/unconfident. For a number of years I seriously considered suicide and wished every day that I didn't have to go to school. I was brutalized and tortured routinely, I had no one stand up for me in any meaningful way, and I had few friendships. My parents moved me to a different school before the 8th grade, where I benefitted from a fresh social environment but still went through a great deal of growing pains. In the still-blue-pill time that followed I grew to be very intelligent and socially aware but nevertheless a bitter, hateful, and anti-social person.
Now that I've reached the top of the mountain and grown a thousand-fold as a man, with all kinds of positive reinforcement and success with women, I realize I still have deep-seated psychological issues. And I know a lot of you are secretly nerds and ex-losers like me who have faced similar problems, so please don't moralize to me or approach this subject as some sort of too-specific anomaly. But I read about some of your experiences with women, your reports -- especially the thread you had a while back about "how to get laid on OkCupid" -- and how some of you get suddenly rejected after makeouts/great dates/emotional investment, and I just can't relate to it at all. When a woman rejects me after I've invested something in her, long after the approach/dating/even banging -- virtually anything short of an indication, subtle or overt, that she is willing to fall for me and/or enter a relationship -- it is an absolutely devastating and crushing experience that's probably the most unsavory aspect of game, to me, and pushes me to the brink of wanting to quit every time it happens. I take it very personally and am extremely hurt by it; I'm certain, though, that these feelings stem from an excessive need for approval that grew as a result of my having been bullied. Now, bear in mind, I have eliminated all approval-seeking behavior from my persona. I am the consummate alpha-dog wherever I am, whatever time of day. But I can't understand how all of you can be so immune to emotional letdowns from girls. I don't understand how you can prevent this from eating at you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
I have deep-rooted insecurities that never show but nevertheless exist and are an outgrowth of my having been bullied in my youth. Many men who idolize you people and read these posts and have "Roosh V" on their Favorites Bar are ex-omegas who deal with these same hangups. I and many other reasonable, intelligent people believe that the field of psychiatry is futile and useless, so don't patronize me with a phone number/email for a shrink. (I even took courses in psychiatric training in college to see what it was all about.) What are some of your suggestions, those of you who have been in the field a long time and have had meaningful relationships with women, for getting over intense emotional responses to the kind of rejection I'm talking about?
Roosh, if you read this: Yes, I'm that Persian guy from Twitter/email. Hopefully I'm not grossly overestimating your memory.