Well thanks for such a thorough response, AnonymousBosch. I read it all, I promise. I usually skim through or skip really long posts but since this was addressed at me it would have been rude not to. And I'm glad I did. Let me see if I understand, and I'll add some comments.
So there's no possibility of any other angel getting the crazy idea that he's going to be like the most high. When Lucifer made his choice, it was a final choice, and he did it with complete 100% knowledge of what that meant. I've considered this recently and the only explanation for why anyone would do that is insanity. I think Lucifer/Satan is literally insane. He saw his own beauty and it triggered pride in him and it consumed him, and even while knowing the magnitude of rebelling, he still went ahead because he was captivated by his own pride, which was caused by his own beauty. He would never had had the audacity to do something so pointless and ultimately detrimental to himself if he wasn't crazy. In other words it wasn't a well reasoned decision. Would you agree with that?
And what about humans? In heaven, is there any possibility of anyone using their free will to rebel? And if not, does that mean that God changes our nature to make it so that we can but will never ever want to rebel?
Whenever I hear someone talk about obeying God and doing His will, although I don't disagree with that it sometimes worries me that living that life would be really boring. I always imagine God wanting me to do things or refrain from things and live in such a way that I wouldn't be myself and I wouldn't enjoy the things that I like.
For many weeks I've been asking God to help me with 3 related problems (financial). I've decided to do nothing at all about any of these problems, instead I'm leaving it to Him to get the ball rolling. I'm waiting for Him to do something, make something happen, give me a realization or insight or brainwave, something that I can then take my cue from and respond with some action. Because right now I've got nothing.
But so far, I've had no response. I'm trying to be patient, and I'm trying to trust. Every night I say I trust you, I trust you, I trust you, I want to scream in frustration but I trust you. If I'm being tested, it's one hell of a test.
My problems are lingering but somehow I'm not sinking. Everything is static. But I know it can't stay that way for ever. Sometimes it's hard to trust, and it feels like I'm wasting my time and that this is all in my imagination and I should stop this and try and do something myself. But apart from the fact that there's nothing I can do as far as I know (if I had a brainwave I'd act on it), I really do want to trust. But it feels very unnatural and against one's instincts to let go like this. It's like someone telling you to drive with your eyes closed and relax.
Something that just occurred to me : Idolatry is worshiping something other than God. But what's the difference between for example masturbating every day (worshiping the idea of having sex with whoever you're thinking about) or constantly daydreaming about what you'd do with a huge amount of money if only you had it, and praying often for something (a solution to a problem or something that you'd like to have)?
So there's no possibility of any other angel getting the crazy idea that he's going to be like the most high. When Lucifer made his choice, it was a final choice, and he did it with complete 100% knowledge of what that meant. I've considered this recently and the only explanation for why anyone would do that is insanity. I think Lucifer/Satan is literally insane. He saw his own beauty and it triggered pride in him and it consumed him, and even while knowing the magnitude of rebelling, he still went ahead because he was captivated by his own pride, which was caused by his own beauty. He would never had had the audacity to do something so pointless and ultimately detrimental to himself if he wasn't crazy. In other words it wasn't a well reasoned decision. Would you agree with that?
And what about humans? In heaven, is there any possibility of anyone using their free will to rebel? And if not, does that mean that God changes our nature to make it so that we can but will never ever want to rebel?
Whenever I hear someone talk about obeying God and doing His will, although I don't disagree with that it sometimes worries me that living that life would be really boring. I always imagine God wanting me to do things or refrain from things and live in such a way that I wouldn't be myself and I wouldn't enjoy the things that I like.
For many weeks I've been asking God to help me with 3 related problems (financial). I've decided to do nothing at all about any of these problems, instead I'm leaving it to Him to get the ball rolling. I'm waiting for Him to do something, make something happen, give me a realization or insight or brainwave, something that I can then take my cue from and respond with some action. Because right now I've got nothing.
But so far, I've had no response. I'm trying to be patient, and I'm trying to trust. Every night I say I trust you, I trust you, I trust you, I want to scream in frustration but I trust you. If I'm being tested, it's one hell of a test.
My problems are lingering but somehow I'm not sinking. Everything is static. But I know it can't stay that way for ever. Sometimes it's hard to trust, and it feels like I'm wasting my time and that this is all in my imagination and I should stop this and try and do something myself. But apart from the fact that there's nothing I can do as far as I know (if I had a brainwave I'd act on it), I really do want to trust. But it feels very unnatural and against one's instincts to let go like this. It's like someone telling you to drive with your eyes closed and relax.
Something that just occurred to me : Idolatry is worshiping something other than God. But what's the difference between for example masturbating every day (worshiping the idea of having sex with whoever you're thinking about) or constantly daydreaming about what you'd do with a huge amount of money if only you had it, and praying often for something (a solution to a problem or something that you'd like to have)?