It's not that weird at all. I think it's relatively common. That has happened to me as well, which is why I go raw more often than I should (reprehensibly) and am very picky about the condoms I buy. I did eventually find brands that work for me, and got better at the whole condom ritual in a way that doesn't bother me as much, but it's still a pain. I don't feel anything with a condom on, and I hate the act of putting them on itself. It can really kill the mood for me.
Considering all the things you said, I think condoms could be the "nail in the coffin" for you. You are already the kind of person whose sexuality isn't an on/off switch like some guys', plus you're bothered by performance anxiety and past experiences. In that situation, condoms could definitely be making things worse.
So... it's not really commendable advice, but try going raw if you find a girl who's open to it. It's night and day for me.
Considering all the things you said, I think condoms could be the "nail in the coffin" for you. You are already the kind of person whose sexuality isn't an on/off switch like some guys', plus you're bothered by performance anxiety and past experiences. In that situation, condoms could definitely be making things worse.
So... it's not really commendable advice, but try going raw if you find a girl who's open to it. It's night and day for me.