You don't need to improve your daygame or your night game.
You need to improve your game fundamentals, which is what is going to give you the most success.
Next time a girl makes eye contact with you, smile at them. If she smiles back, consider that a green light to approach. Part of what separates "good game" from "bad game" is what prospects you approach. Qualifying leads like this is going to lead you to a higher success rate, which will help boost your confidence.
This tells me that you're correct in stating that your looks aren't the limiting factor. It also tells me you don't have a plan for once the makeout happens. Especially with nightgame, you need to have the progression lined up. The girl shouldn't have to do any of the work, you should gently lead her through to the progression until you fuck her brains out.
For example, if you can tell the girl is into you enough where she'll make out with you, you need to have an exit strategy to get her back to your place. What is your logistical situation like? Are you going to places where your pad is close by so you can bounce as it gets closer to last call?
For example, if I start making out with a chick on the dance floor I'll usually keep it brief so I'm not slobbering all over her, I'll dance for a little bit longer and then lead her off the floor to talk over a drink. After I suss out her life story for about 15 minutes, I'll drop some bait about having a sweet beachfront pad, and something I want to show her (depends on the girl, it could be weed, a bottle of wine, my gun collection, etc).
Then, I'll uber us both home, lead her in and then escalate from there. If she comes back to your place, she's already mentally acknowledged you are going to be fucking her.
The whole point of this is I want to get the girl into a controlled environment as quickly as possible to reduce the variables that will prevent me from banging her. Time, her friends, her ASD, and too much booze will all be working against you. You need her in a place where you can mitigate those.
You'll need to put in more numbers than that. Especially when you're new, you'll get 1 lay for every 50 approaches or so. However that's with a large sample size. You may go 100, or even 150 approaches without getting a lay. Persistence makes the difference, and your results will even out over time.
There's no such thing as text game. Your phone is only for scheduling dates. You can't build attraction over the phone. She gave you her number because she thought you were interested and would ask her out, which you didn't do, and of course her interest waned after that.
Strike when the moment is hot. Once you grab that number, banter briefly, and then start making moves to set up the date.
For example, I grabbed a number from this British chick the other day. Teased her for a bit about her cutesy accent, and then asked if she'd come help me work on my accent for when I go back to London.
Took her out for drinks, brought her back to my place, and had my way with her. I just went back and counted how many texts we exchanged. 14 total messages. Less is more with text game.
Did you sexually escalate on this date at all? Were you touching on her, and letting her do most of the talking?
You'll get used to it, it happens all the time. He probably took immediate action and didn't eff around.
If you're getting makeouts with terrible game, then your looks aren't the problem as said before. I was bagging girls even with absolutely abysmal game. You will be able to improve your results.
It'll work, you're just not using it in the right way. When you're first meeting women, you only need to subtly imply dominance. Based on the women thinking your a fuckboy, you're probably being too aggressive from the get-go, and then fading down the stretch. Part of being able to land a woman and take her through the sexual progression is having a congruent personality.
For example, if you're super forward at the party and making out with her, but then spend days texting back and forth without making a date, the girl will know you're full of shit.
The same thing is true with humor. If a girl is into you, she'll laugh at your dumb jokes. You don't have to be a stand up comedian. They can tell when you're trying to hard. I used to have trouble with this too, and what made the difference for me was talking to them like I'd talk to my little sister. One part dismissive, a half part sardonic, and two parts charming. Don't take yourself too seriously.
For instance, the British chick I was talking about kept remarking about how I must use the moves I put on her on all the other girls (what she really meant was "wow, your game is good, please lie to me and tell me you're not using this on other women so my ASD doesn't go through the roof").
Rather than answering that straight on and denying I'm seeing other women, I literally put a move on her (I spun her like you do in swing dancing) and then caught her with a shit eating grin and said "...practice for you", to which she laughed.
In summary, you're going to need to systematically relearn game. Spend some time reading around the forums here. Here's the steps I would take:
1: Read the entire Black Man Game Options thread. Take notes, and listen to the podcasts. I would outline specific techniques presented within that you feel are congruent with your personality. Keep lurking around here, and read as much as you can. I overhauled my game over the course of about a year or so of study, practice, and more study.
1a: Learn about escalation and the escalation process. If you're doing night game, you should be focusing on SNL (same night lays). It's a lot easier to keep a woman around once you've fucked her brains out. Plus, the more women you lay, the easier it gets to lay other women.
2: If you're not lifting, you need to get on Starting Strength.
3: Keep approaching. If you really want to be successful, make it a goal to approach 10 women a day. Keep a log of your approaches. What went well. What didn't. You can even start a thread here for the rest of us to offer advice.
4: Read Bang. Take notes. Read it again. Review notes. Return to step 3.
5: Ask questions in established threads. Right now, you need to start from square one and learn the fundamentals. Use your fundamentals to better approach.
Good luck. Hopefully other guys will chime in and give you even more advice.
You need to improve your game fundamentals, which is what is going to give you the most success.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
Usually girls look away but some don’t and I usually look away if I don’t (need to learn hold eye contact).
Next time a girl makes eye contact with you, smile at them. If she smiles back, consider that a green light to approach. Part of what separates "good game" from "bad game" is what prospects you approach. Qualifying leads like this is going to lead you to a higher success rate, which will help boost your confidence.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
During these parties these girls already categorized me as the “asshole guy” or the “fuck boy” because sometimes during these parties I may make out with 1-2 girls and sometimes girls ask who I am (maybe it’s cause there drunk I get these make outs) and then nothing happens after.
This tells me that you're correct in stating that your looks aren't the limiting factor. It also tells me you don't have a plan for once the makeout happens. Especially with nightgame, you need to have the progression lined up. The girl shouldn't have to do any of the work, you should gently lead her through to the progression until you fuck her brains out.
For example, if you can tell the girl is into you enough where she'll make out with you, you need to have an exit strategy to get her back to your place. What is your logistical situation like? Are you going to places where your pad is close by so you can bounce as it gets closer to last call?
For example, if I start making out with a chick on the dance floor I'll usually keep it brief so I'm not slobbering all over her, I'll dance for a little bit longer and then lead her off the floor to talk over a drink. After I suss out her life story for about 15 minutes, I'll drop some bait about having a sweet beachfront pad, and something I want to show her (depends on the girl, it could be weed, a bottle of wine, my gun collection, etc).
Then, I'll uber us both home, lead her in and then escalate from there. If she comes back to your place, she's already mentally acknowledged you are going to be fucking her.
The whole point of this is I want to get the girl into a controlled environment as quickly as possible to reduce the variables that will prevent me from banging her. Time, her friends, her ASD, and too much booze will all be working against you. You need her in a place where you can mitigate those.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
I may have approached little as 100-120 girls so far during these night club/party game because of my anxiety and I am usually extrovert.
You'll need to put in more numbers than that. Especially when you're new, you'll get 1 lay for every 50 approaches or so. However that's with a large sample size. You may go 100, or even 150 approaches without getting a lay. Persistence makes the difference, and your results will even out over time.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
My closest success with a girl was actually at a party that I kissed and then I started msging her and after a few conversation it just feels obvious that she didn’t like me, because she started disqualifying herself and my text game is awful aswell.
There's no such thing as text game. Your phone is only for scheduling dates. You can't build attraction over the phone. She gave you her number because she thought you were interested and would ask her out, which you didn't do, and of course her interest waned after that.
Strike when the moment is hot. Once you grab that number, banter briefly, and then start making moves to set up the date.
For example, I grabbed a number from this British chick the other day. Teased her for a bit about her cutesy accent, and then asked if she'd come help me work on my accent for when I go back to London.
Took her out for drinks, brought her back to my place, and had my way with her. I just went back and counted how many texts we exchanged. 14 total messages. Less is more with text game.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
met her at another party and made out with her again and my friends tells me that she’s obvious into you, then went on a date and felt it was ok.
Did you sexually escalate on this date at all? Were you touching on her, and letting her do most of the talking?
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
But she ended up meeting another guy at another party and I felt devistated.
You'll get used to it, it happens all the time. He probably took immediate action and didn't eff around.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
Don’t think it’s my looks because girls usually say I am handsome, cute or whatever but they do say I am weird lol.....
If you're getting makeouts with terrible game, then your looks aren't the problem as said before. I was bagging girls even with absolutely abysmal game. You will be able to improve your results.
Quote: (01-15-2019 05:18 PM)Commando Legend Wrote:
glad my game sucks soI can get better. I usually just be myself and bring humor/dominate personality into the table but it isn’t working some reason.
It'll work, you're just not using it in the right way. When you're first meeting women, you only need to subtly imply dominance. Based on the women thinking your a fuckboy, you're probably being too aggressive from the get-go, and then fading down the stretch. Part of being able to land a woman and take her through the sexual progression is having a congruent personality.
For example, if you're super forward at the party and making out with her, but then spend days texting back and forth without making a date, the girl will know you're full of shit.
The same thing is true with humor. If a girl is into you, she'll laugh at your dumb jokes. You don't have to be a stand up comedian. They can tell when you're trying to hard. I used to have trouble with this too, and what made the difference for me was talking to them like I'd talk to my little sister. One part dismissive, a half part sardonic, and two parts charming. Don't take yourself too seriously.
For instance, the British chick I was talking about kept remarking about how I must use the moves I put on her on all the other girls (what she really meant was "wow, your game is good, please lie to me and tell me you're not using this on other women so my ASD doesn't go through the roof").
Rather than answering that straight on and denying I'm seeing other women, I literally put a move on her (I spun her like you do in swing dancing) and then caught her with a shit eating grin and said "...practice for you", to which she laughed.
In summary, you're going to need to systematically relearn game. Spend some time reading around the forums here. Here's the steps I would take:
1: Read the entire Black Man Game Options thread. Take notes, and listen to the podcasts. I would outline specific techniques presented within that you feel are congruent with your personality. Keep lurking around here, and read as much as you can. I overhauled my game over the course of about a year or so of study, practice, and more study.
1a: Learn about escalation and the escalation process. If you're doing night game, you should be focusing on SNL (same night lays). It's a lot easier to keep a woman around once you've fucked her brains out. Plus, the more women you lay, the easier it gets to lay other women.
2: If you're not lifting, you need to get on Starting Strength.
3: Keep approaching. If you really want to be successful, make it a goal to approach 10 women a day. Keep a log of your approaches. What went well. What didn't. You can even start a thread here for the rest of us to offer advice.
4: Read Bang. Take notes. Read it again. Review notes. Return to step 3.
5: Ask questions in established threads. Right now, you need to start from square one and learn the fundamentals. Use your fundamentals to better approach.
Good luck. Hopefully other guys will chime in and give you even more advice.