Thanks guys! Given me lots to think about. Yes, it's too late for the pre-proposal talk... The proposal is in, wedding planning stage is preliminarily started right now.
I am trying to understand how the whole process of drafting the prenup might best work and be effective, easy, and least traumatizing. I think the gold standard, as above by Bacchus, would be that I have a lawyer draft it, and she have a completely separate lawyer (paid by her) review it and agree, then we sign at a sit-down session with both lawyers together? That sounds like a lot of extra work and money though. It's easy to just write about it.
I'm wondering if soliciting a single lawyer, on behalf of "us", drafting the document as per "our" direction, and then a sit down with that one lawyer who explains the document to both (and witnesses) is sufficient.
I am not an old multi-millionaire looking to ruthlessly protect all assets from a THOT wife. I just want to have, with the minimal of drama and cost, a document that modestly protects my interests from a vastly unfair divorce, and sends a firm message to the would-be wife that I am not going to be taken advantage of and walked all over for the rest of our lives. That I won't suffer 40 years of half-serious jokes about how she can "always leave and take everything" (I don't know how many fucking women I know that say or imply this kind of BS from time-to-time. Nearly 100%).
Specifically about prenup content, (probably a question for the lawyer) I don't know how to handle a pension. I have a large DB pension coming my way if I keep working here for my career, and I don't wanna be one of those poor bastards I see at work who are now stuck there till 65 instead of 55 because they got divorced at 50 and the wife gets half the pension...
Regarding the conversation, I'll have to come back with a script.. But right now she does not know that I have 1/2 Mil, she thinks it's about 200k probably, I've been super vague. I don't know how/when is the best time to reveal this to her and if it should be a talking point for the prenup conversation or not. Seems to be more of a crass "me wanting to keep my money" talking point instead of a "wanting to strengthen the marriage" conversation, if she knows about all the money. She's not broke either, about 100k, but obviously I have and always will have more, especially if/when she stops working for the kids. But I also don't want to keep this secret any longer. It's grating on me, she wants to know, and as a husband-wife pair I think she should know. I also am thinking I should reveal this number pre-marriage, so I can see how she reacts, if she all of a sudden wants to get super spendy on the wedding...Better fucking not, or I won't know what to do.
I am trying to understand how the whole process of drafting the prenup might best work and be effective, easy, and least traumatizing. I think the gold standard, as above by Bacchus, would be that I have a lawyer draft it, and she have a completely separate lawyer (paid by her) review it and agree, then we sign at a sit-down session with both lawyers together? That sounds like a lot of extra work and money though. It's easy to just write about it.
I'm wondering if soliciting a single lawyer, on behalf of "us", drafting the document as per "our" direction, and then a sit down with that one lawyer who explains the document to both (and witnesses) is sufficient.
I am not an old multi-millionaire looking to ruthlessly protect all assets from a THOT wife. I just want to have, with the minimal of drama and cost, a document that modestly protects my interests from a vastly unfair divorce, and sends a firm message to the would-be wife that I am not going to be taken advantage of and walked all over for the rest of our lives. That I won't suffer 40 years of half-serious jokes about how she can "always leave and take everything" (I don't know how many fucking women I know that say or imply this kind of BS from time-to-time. Nearly 100%).
Specifically about prenup content, (probably a question for the lawyer) I don't know how to handle a pension. I have a large DB pension coming my way if I keep working here for my career, and I don't wanna be one of those poor bastards I see at work who are now stuck there till 65 instead of 55 because they got divorced at 50 and the wife gets half the pension...
Regarding the conversation, I'll have to come back with a script.. But right now she does not know that I have 1/2 Mil, she thinks it's about 200k probably, I've been super vague. I don't know how/when is the best time to reveal this to her and if it should be a talking point for the prenup conversation or not. Seems to be more of a crass "me wanting to keep my money" talking point instead of a "wanting to strengthen the marriage" conversation, if she knows about all the money. She's not broke either, about 100k, but obviously I have and always will have more, especially if/when she stops working for the kids. But I also don't want to keep this secret any longer. It's grating on me, she wants to know, and as a husband-wife pair I think she should know. I also am thinking I should reveal this number pre-marriage, so I can see how she reacts, if she all of a sudden wants to get super spendy on the wedding...Better fucking not, or I won't know what to do.