My symptomology is somewhat similar. Lost virginity at 21, difficulty understanding social Dynamics and feeling "slow" or out of my Lane in social situations despite being quite a big talker who engages in stream of consciousness dialogues a lot. People tell me I'm intense, and that an almost encyclopedic knowledge of the world is what I possess. I've defied diagnosis despite years upon years in the public school system. I was tested a lot,don't know if I was ever tested for autism. But IQ test upon IQ test was done and I basically had no peers in school. I was supposed to skip grades or go to prep school but never happened. Teachers were apologetic about the fact they couldn't teach me more.
Some of my closer friends have suggested I have autism, and I'd actually be at peace with the fact if I did.. it would explain a lot of the adversity I've faced. It would explain loosing my virginity too late, being too intense, and my obsessive focus with information of all sorts. It'd explain why I always speak the same way, have some aversion to eye contact--even though I'm good with it with girls-- go into deep topics quickly upon meeting people, find most people boring or shallow etc.
I had a religious upbringing that stifled a lot of my personal development, and to this day, people tell me I need to get out of my head. Being in a situation where you're likely autistic, and you're being conditioned by religion/society to think a certain way about women is fucking toxic, much less the fact they're both feeding you blue pills. I've finally started to unpack all these complexes I've had, and only now have I realized how deeply have they permiated my being. I've only recently realized how much drivel society feeds men. Only through game have I been able to break the conditioning and become my true self, a guy who doesn't give a fuck.
Some of my closer friends have suggested I have autism, and I'd actually be at peace with the fact if I did.. it would explain a lot of the adversity I've faced. It would explain loosing my virginity too late, being too intense, and my obsessive focus with information of all sorts. It'd explain why I always speak the same way, have some aversion to eye contact--even though I'm good with it with girls-- go into deep topics quickly upon meeting people, find most people boring or shallow etc.
I had a religious upbringing that stifled a lot of my personal development, and to this day, people tell me I need to get out of my head. Being in a situation where you're likely autistic, and you're being conditioned by religion/society to think a certain way about women is fucking toxic, much less the fact they're both feeding you blue pills. I've finally started to unpack all these complexes I've had, and only now have I realized how deeply have they permiated my being. I've only recently realized how much drivel society feeds men. Only through game have I been able to break the conditioning and become my true self, a guy who doesn't give a fuck.