BACKGROUND
I’m 30 y/o, very high notch count, never been exclusive with anyone.
I’ve had diminishing returns of fulfilment from ONS since I decided against trying an exclusive relationship (past 2 months).
I’m wondering will this trend continue leading to a stronger LTR desire.
She’s 27 y/o, Polish, loyal, distant from father, been cheated on by last 2 boyfriends and knows I’ve slept around lots before.
PROS TO LTR HER
My gut wants to try it.
She’s the best girl out of a very large sample size and first girl I’ve loved.
I think it will provide more fulfilment and happiness (at first at least) than fucking randoms.
I enjoy her company, affection and can learn if I want a LTR even if it doesn’t work.
GUILT FREE CONS
I assume the dynamic will get stale and I will get bored of fucking the same girl after a month or so (doesn’t everyone?).
I am unsure if I want children so don’t have this reason to LTR right now. In fact I have no idea what I want ten years from now.
Opportunity cost - I'm location independent with work, financially well off and have strong game.
GUILTY CONS
If or when I don’t like and end it I will break her heart.
If it’s just a phase I will feel I ‘used her” to sample a LTR.
HER PERSONALITY PROBLEMS*
Doesn’t seem to approve of my friends because they are also notch and flag collectors (never met them).
Gets angry and questions when girls comment on social media or an old conquest messages me.
Assumes I am fucking multiple other girls when we are not together – she paid for Tinder plus to change location and see I was actively using it a month after we first met when we were in different countries.
MY PROBLEMS SHE THINKS I SHOULD WORK ON
I have commitment problems (I so far haven’t found childhood trauma that would have caused this), I’m a sex addict, I concentrate on external factors (such as her) rather than focus internally.
In summary, it’s the first time I have any sort of desire to have a relationship and don’t know if it's because of her or because I am maturing (I think the former is fuelling the latter).
I think it’s something I need to ease into and not dive into (unsure if I can negotiate this) and I’m hoping this amazing forum can help me out of this confusion.
Thanks in advance brothers.
*Has meditated and claims to be more accepting with bad situations since I last saw her
I’m 30 y/o, very high notch count, never been exclusive with anyone.
I’ve had diminishing returns of fulfilment from ONS since I decided against trying an exclusive relationship (past 2 months).
I’m wondering will this trend continue leading to a stronger LTR desire.
She’s 27 y/o, Polish, loyal, distant from father, been cheated on by last 2 boyfriends and knows I’ve slept around lots before.
PROS TO LTR HER
My gut wants to try it.
She’s the best girl out of a very large sample size and first girl I’ve loved.
I think it will provide more fulfilment and happiness (at first at least) than fucking randoms.
I enjoy her company, affection and can learn if I want a LTR even if it doesn’t work.
GUILT FREE CONS
I assume the dynamic will get stale and I will get bored of fucking the same girl after a month or so (doesn’t everyone?).
I am unsure if I want children so don’t have this reason to LTR right now. In fact I have no idea what I want ten years from now.
Opportunity cost - I'm location independent with work, financially well off and have strong game.
GUILTY CONS
If or when I don’t like and end it I will break her heart.
If it’s just a phase I will feel I ‘used her” to sample a LTR.
HER PERSONALITY PROBLEMS*
Doesn’t seem to approve of my friends because they are also notch and flag collectors (never met them).
Gets angry and questions when girls comment on social media or an old conquest messages me.
Assumes I am fucking multiple other girls when we are not together – she paid for Tinder plus to change location and see I was actively using it a month after we first met when we were in different countries.
MY PROBLEMS SHE THINKS I SHOULD WORK ON
I have commitment problems (I so far haven’t found childhood trauma that would have caused this), I’m a sex addict, I concentrate on external factors (such as her) rather than focus internally.
In summary, it’s the first time I have any sort of desire to have a relationship and don’t know if it's because of her or because I am maturing (I think the former is fuelling the latter).
I think it’s something I need to ease into and not dive into (unsure if I can negotiate this) and I’m hoping this amazing forum can help me out of this confusion.
Thanks in advance brothers.
*Has meditated and claims to be more accepting with bad situations since I last saw her