Man I dont even think I am at a level in my life where I should put my two cents in since you clearly seem more mature than me, and someone who has more life experience than me.
But from a cultural standpoint, as a ethnic minority myself, i think you have a form of Oneitis, not for her, but for the way she was behaving. You went through the divorce because your gut feeling despite all was probably telling you that you don't like this person, but despite all of that, you miss her behavior. And that feeling might be strong, especially when you live in a western country with toxic femininity.
I think the best thing would be move to Philipines and get a job there, or start your own freelance business.
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It would probably take years of therapy to unravel why I went through all that and felt the way I did. I would say her overall behavior over the last 7 years of our marriage was moderately acceptable by Philippines standards and damn good by American/western standards, but the psychotic episodes upon her arrival in the US poisoned the well and I never really got over it, until we were truly broken up and I had a different perspective.
I'll be retiring in a couple years and I'll most likely be moving to SE Asia or S America.