Thanks for the responses, makes a lot of sense.
I show visual discomfort when she says something messed up, and she knows it. A lot of our arguments are now through text. So I decided to just minimize interactions with her. I called her a hateful/derogatory person a week back and totally destroyed her when she tossed an insult my way. I insulted her where it hurts, and I'm pretty sure it wrecked her. She absolutely deserved it.
It's hard for me because I still see tidbits of her childhood here and there, and I always had a soft spot for that. She cries if I yell at her or get mad, just like when she was little. But nowadays, she's a vicious, toxic person and I absolutely hated when she jokingly said that she was a strong independent woman. She is strongly against patriarchal views while I am more open (I still believe women should be educated and work).
I think I just need to be happy that for the first 18 years of her life, I was as good and as loving of a brother as I could have been, and that now, she's on her own. Part of love is learning and being comfortable with letting the other person go. I need to tap out and let her form her own life, it's not my business anymore. We took care of her first two years of tuition, her condo, and her car - now it's up to her to make things happen and become mature.
I show visual discomfort when she says something messed up, and she knows it. A lot of our arguments are now through text. So I decided to just minimize interactions with her. I called her a hateful/derogatory person a week back and totally destroyed her when she tossed an insult my way. I insulted her where it hurts, and I'm pretty sure it wrecked her. She absolutely deserved it.
It's hard for me because I still see tidbits of her childhood here and there, and I always had a soft spot for that. She cries if I yell at her or get mad, just like when she was little. But nowadays, she's a vicious, toxic person and I absolutely hated when she jokingly said that she was a strong independent woman. She is strongly against patriarchal views while I am more open (I still believe women should be educated and work).
I think I just need to be happy that for the first 18 years of her life, I was as good and as loving of a brother as I could have been, and that now, she's on her own. Part of love is learning and being comfortable with letting the other person go. I need to tap out and let her form her own life, it's not my business anymore. We took care of her first two years of tuition, her condo, and her car - now it's up to her to make things happen and become mature.