I don't think you should just chase the poonani. The biggest difference for me was going from feeling insecure, awkward, depressed and unhappy with myself to feeling good about myself. Without wanting to sound to eat pray love, a lot does flow from you own sense of self worth. I was always very beta/depressed but definitely always had a sense that there was something profoundly wrong with the world, as presented to me (single mother etc) and wrong with the relationships I was having with women, such as they were (didn't loose virginity till 21!).
A light for me came on and I dropped like 30lbs and was in great shape and I still wasn't getting any pussy. I had assumed that it would all fall in to place if I was in good shape but it didn't. Anyway, fast forward a couple of years and after a couple of shitty relationships I ruined by being a clingy bitch, I managed to develop a much better outlook and was having no problem with the ladies despite it not being a particular aim at the time. It's amazing how incredibly easy getting lays can be at times when for years it was the hardest thing in the world. Even despite having, at the time probably put back on 20lbs of the 30. Now I'm probably one of the few on the board (who likes to admit it), that's married. Going great.
In my experience if you've had a shitty or weird up-bringing, or had no friends as a kid, it just takes a lot of time to catch up with people who developed better social skills at an earlier age, but certainly not impossible. Most people pretty much freeze in their personal development at some point and never go further (e.g NPCs). As I say the main thing is to stop feeling like there is something wrong with yourself. I do think abundance mentality is massively important. Even if you adapt it to other areas of your life, it's vital to not be a cringy try hard. Biggest change in recent years for me (am over 40) is knowing that a lot of the time it's better to say less than try to hard (I'm talking more in the context of business and other relationships). Once you like yourself more you stop trying too hard with others.
I think you're question is slightly misplaced as getting better at slaying pussy isn't really bettering yourself per se. You need to look at all areas of your life.
A light for me came on and I dropped like 30lbs and was in great shape and I still wasn't getting any pussy. I had assumed that it would all fall in to place if I was in good shape but it didn't. Anyway, fast forward a couple of years and after a couple of shitty relationships I ruined by being a clingy bitch, I managed to develop a much better outlook and was having no problem with the ladies despite it not being a particular aim at the time. It's amazing how incredibly easy getting lays can be at times when for years it was the hardest thing in the world. Even despite having, at the time probably put back on 20lbs of the 30. Now I'm probably one of the few on the board (who likes to admit it), that's married. Going great.
In my experience if you've had a shitty or weird up-bringing, or had no friends as a kid, it just takes a lot of time to catch up with people who developed better social skills at an earlier age, but certainly not impossible. Most people pretty much freeze in their personal development at some point and never go further (e.g NPCs). As I say the main thing is to stop feeling like there is something wrong with yourself. I do think abundance mentality is massively important. Even if you adapt it to other areas of your life, it's vital to not be a cringy try hard. Biggest change in recent years for me (am over 40) is knowing that a lot of the time it's better to say less than try to hard (I'm talking more in the context of business and other relationships). Once you like yourself more you stop trying too hard with others.
I think you're question is slightly misplaced as getting better at slaying pussy isn't really bettering yourself per se. You need to look at all areas of your life.