Kirdiesel nails this.
I'd add a few things:
1. Figure out what TYPE of 'super attractive' woman you want.
If you're with her just because she's an 8 that's desperate and unattractive. Lots of smokes on Tinder/IG look horrendous in terms of personality. If you see a few dozen girls where based on personality/face she'd be a girl you'd consider dating THEN get to thinking about how to improve yourself that way.
Stop thinking about them purely in terms of looks and have some standards for her personality. This alone will totally flip your frame. From 'oh she's hot that never works for me' to 'she's hot but is she good enough for me'--everything about your messages, persona, dating will change if you think that way about WHO you want in your life instead of some externally based rating thing.
2. You are aiming for too many things at once.
You have in mind this smokeshow eight coming over and being your perfect loving girlfriend for years when you have barely dated any. Spending a few hours or a full day a week with a girl is very different than banging.
Pick a goal: date/bang a succession of eights for a few months each, or find a great loving gf, mother of your children, etc. Or get both going on simultaneously.... But you can't suddenly aim higher for a 'relationship' than you're actually dating... and you can't 'cash out' and marry the hottest girl you bang...
You're spread too thin or aiming for something that's way too huge a discontinuity. Pick one axis and improve on it--relationships/dating with a high 6.5/7 you enjoy and could see dating (which takes work of finding and developing); or banging lots of 8s sporadically. But don't try to up your deadlift 100lbs and train for a marathon simultaneously.
3. TRAVEL--could it be any more obvious if that's where you're getting your best bangs... If you really prioritize your SMV, export your product to a market where it fetches a much higher premium... you may have a WAY better shot of gaining a point of SMV that way... No one is saying move to Manila, but check out Bangkok or Taipei. There are legitimately nice cities (and legitimately VERY nice areas in these and other cities).
4. Adjust to current reality. This idea from forty years ago of a loving/devoted wife/girlfriend just barely/doesn't exist today. Online dating, smartphones, social media, etc. are wrecking and have wrecked these things. As has easy divorce, etc. Blackdragon, Roosh, Roissy, EVERYONE has written about these. You've benefited from hypergamy so also be realistic about what it means for the realism of relationships these days.
5. A repeat, but: are you really in the right city? Some places really do have a two-point difference in terms of your personal SMV. If you're in Australia I can't imagine the ectomorph thing is great, that's just a 'big' place. While in Asia or other places you'd probably outcompete big/bulky guys who have higher value than you locally.
In summary, you sound focused on numbers that don't mean anything and you're in a disillusionment spell before you accept some things. There are real tradeoffs. Hotter girls in (perhaps) less desirable--or at least less familiar--places. LOTS of effort to gain lots of weight if you insist on staying in your birthplace. Hotter girls more available for short-term dating than would want to 'settle down' permanently. Prioritize and decide what YOU personally value most and want rather than caring one bit about some number rating.
I'd add a few things:
1. Figure out what TYPE of 'super attractive' woman you want.
If you're with her just because she's an 8 that's desperate and unattractive. Lots of smokes on Tinder/IG look horrendous in terms of personality. If you see a few dozen girls where based on personality/face she'd be a girl you'd consider dating THEN get to thinking about how to improve yourself that way.
Stop thinking about them purely in terms of looks and have some standards for her personality. This alone will totally flip your frame. From 'oh she's hot that never works for me' to 'she's hot but is she good enough for me'--everything about your messages, persona, dating will change if you think that way about WHO you want in your life instead of some externally based rating thing.
2. You are aiming for too many things at once.
You have in mind this smokeshow eight coming over and being your perfect loving girlfriend for years when you have barely dated any. Spending a few hours or a full day a week with a girl is very different than banging.
Pick a goal: date/bang a succession of eights for a few months each, or find a great loving gf, mother of your children, etc. Or get both going on simultaneously.... But you can't suddenly aim higher for a 'relationship' than you're actually dating... and you can't 'cash out' and marry the hottest girl you bang...
You're spread too thin or aiming for something that's way too huge a discontinuity. Pick one axis and improve on it--relationships/dating with a high 6.5/7 you enjoy and could see dating (which takes work of finding and developing); or banging lots of 8s sporadically. But don't try to up your deadlift 100lbs and train for a marathon simultaneously.
3. TRAVEL--could it be any more obvious if that's where you're getting your best bangs... If you really prioritize your SMV, export your product to a market where it fetches a much higher premium... you may have a WAY better shot of gaining a point of SMV that way... No one is saying move to Manila, but check out Bangkok or Taipei. There are legitimately nice cities (and legitimately VERY nice areas in these and other cities).
4. Adjust to current reality. This idea from forty years ago of a loving/devoted wife/girlfriend just barely/doesn't exist today. Online dating, smartphones, social media, etc. are wrecking and have wrecked these things. As has easy divorce, etc. Blackdragon, Roosh, Roissy, EVERYONE has written about these. You've benefited from hypergamy so also be realistic about what it means for the realism of relationships these days.
5. A repeat, but: are you really in the right city? Some places really do have a two-point difference in terms of your personal SMV. If you're in Australia I can't imagine the ectomorph thing is great, that's just a 'big' place. While in Asia or other places you'd probably outcompete big/bulky guys who have higher value than you locally.
In summary, you sound focused on numbers that don't mean anything and you're in a disillusionment spell before you accept some things. There are real tradeoffs. Hotter girls in (perhaps) less desirable--or at least less familiar--places. LOTS of effort to gain lots of weight if you insist on staying in your birthplace. Hotter girls more available for short-term dating than would want to 'settle down' permanently. Prioritize and decide what YOU personally value most and want rather than caring one bit about some number rating.
Quote: (10-13-2018 05:27 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:
I realized from reading the forum and listening to some other guys it just comes down to SMV. The 8s and 9s just don't see you as equal or better than them and you need to reverse engineer and figure out what exactly makes these girls tick. These 8s and 9s are fucking SOMEBODY. The question is who? What the he look like? What lifestyle does he live?... You need to either to copy/match that or make your own niche.
I have figured out/decided if I want a LTR with an 8 or 9 I gotta put that work in. Change my lifestyle, looks, chose a niche and try to dominate it. Figure out what your strengths are and try to maximize (monetize) them... meaning turn those into a weapon to get the women you want.
I am a black dude over in Germany where there are black guy lovers (who are 8s and 9s) and also hot girls who are interested in guys like me if my SMV is high enough.
I noticed that I can gain muscle and can grow a beard fairly well (among other things of course). I have decided to do whatever it takes for me to get big and ripped and grow as cool/unique beard as I can. I am going to try dominate that niche (girls who love buff, tatted, bearded black guys) and I am fairly positive if i excel at this I will get those 8s or 9s I have been trying to get for years.
Pick a lane which is attractive to the girls you want and dominate the fuck out of it.
I also used this niche game tactic to much success years ago working as a promoter in NYC