hey there, this is not a cry-for-help thread, I just want to get some advice and thoughts from experienced folks like you, I had a few threads on this forum and every time you seem to help me, a lot.
so, this is the situation, I've never been a LTR guy, the only meaningful relationship I had lasted years until my gf died in a car accident. it left me broken and unable to have any hopes for something similar. but I did, a year and a half ago I met the sweetest girl I've ever seen, we hit it off pretty well, she was like an angel to me, never complained, always tried to make me feel awesome and was madly in love with me. I always had some personal issues but I never took it out on her, she always knew and loved me even more for it. she even let it slip that I had other chicks.
long story short, we had something pretty damn awesome, I never played the needy game, if anything, she was the needy one, always worshiped me etc. now it's been 2 months since I last saw her (it's a fucking nightmare for her, goes crazy if she doesn't see me every week), I know for a fact that she didn't meet anyone, there is no other guy involved here, trust me on this. but lately we fight a lot, when I get mad I tent to be an asshole and sometimes it's too much, but she always apologizes because she doesn't want me to dump her. you can't imagine the things she did to keep our relationship going, I couldn't believe how any girl could be this committed.
I don'k now if my physical absence did anything but I noticed her being a little aloof, when we fought because she did something stupid, she would do it again the next day (nothing serious but little things get me mad). so, two days ago I said "I've had it, out you go", she nearly killed herself, drove to my house with her friend and practically begged me on her knees to let it slip just one more time. she said if she did that again she would leave on her own.
now, tonight she did it again (it's nothing serious, when we chat and she leaves because her mom called her or some shit, I get mad, I fucking hate it, I always told her this and she would always try not to do it but she still does it, maybe not on purpose but idc.), it's not about what she does, the fact that gets me mad is that I said it'd be over if something like happened again and BOOM, 2 days later, there she goes. we had a lot of situations where I was gonna dump her but always found the reason to forgive, maybe this has something to do with it?!
I dumped her, she tried to make it up to me, cried n shit but I can't stand it any longer. she seems aloof, doesn't seem to care about what I say that much, in other words, she's not like she used to be, this is the reason I dumped her. I realize this might seem stupid to you, but replace it with whatever you want, if you told your gf if she did something you'd dump her and a day or two later she did it, what would you do?
I ain't gonna lie, it fucking hurts, as much as I hate to admit it, it's freaking painful, doesn't look like I'm gonna be fine in a few days. I really had high hopes for her, but I realize when a girl dares to do this much, you have to end it. hate this word, but I really love her (as close as I can get to loving somebody).
I did not think it would be so fucking BAD, feels like I'm in hell all by myself and at the same time I'm pissed as fuck at myself for being such a week piece of shit. I can't stand the fact that dumping someone and being left alone hurts me this much. I'm so tired, I guess it's never worth it.
what do you think, what changed her so much?! what should I do, the only thing is I wanna forget her and all these shitty feelings. all of you who have been in similar situations, help a brother out, I cannot stand the needy condition, nor the agony.
so, this is the situation, I've never been a LTR guy, the only meaningful relationship I had lasted years until my gf died in a car accident. it left me broken and unable to have any hopes for something similar. but I did, a year and a half ago I met the sweetest girl I've ever seen, we hit it off pretty well, she was like an angel to me, never complained, always tried to make me feel awesome and was madly in love with me. I always had some personal issues but I never took it out on her, she always knew and loved me even more for it. she even let it slip that I had other chicks.
long story short, we had something pretty damn awesome, I never played the needy game, if anything, she was the needy one, always worshiped me etc. now it's been 2 months since I last saw her (it's a fucking nightmare for her, goes crazy if she doesn't see me every week), I know for a fact that she didn't meet anyone, there is no other guy involved here, trust me on this. but lately we fight a lot, when I get mad I tent to be an asshole and sometimes it's too much, but she always apologizes because she doesn't want me to dump her. you can't imagine the things she did to keep our relationship going, I couldn't believe how any girl could be this committed.
I don'k now if my physical absence did anything but I noticed her being a little aloof, when we fought because she did something stupid, she would do it again the next day (nothing serious but little things get me mad). so, two days ago I said "I've had it, out you go", she nearly killed herself, drove to my house with her friend and practically begged me on her knees to let it slip just one more time. she said if she did that again she would leave on her own.
now, tonight she did it again (it's nothing serious, when we chat and she leaves because her mom called her or some shit, I get mad, I fucking hate it, I always told her this and she would always try not to do it but she still does it, maybe not on purpose but idc.), it's not about what she does, the fact that gets me mad is that I said it'd be over if something like happened again and BOOM, 2 days later, there she goes. we had a lot of situations where I was gonna dump her but always found the reason to forgive, maybe this has something to do with it?!
I dumped her, she tried to make it up to me, cried n shit but I can't stand it any longer. she seems aloof, doesn't seem to care about what I say that much, in other words, she's not like she used to be, this is the reason I dumped her. I realize this might seem stupid to you, but replace it with whatever you want, if you told your gf if she did something you'd dump her and a day or two later she did it, what would you do?
I ain't gonna lie, it fucking hurts, as much as I hate to admit it, it's freaking painful, doesn't look like I'm gonna be fine in a few days. I really had high hopes for her, but I realize when a girl dares to do this much, you have to end it. hate this word, but I really love her (as close as I can get to loving somebody).
I did not think it would be so fucking BAD, feels like I'm in hell all by myself and at the same time I'm pissed as fuck at myself for being such a week piece of shit. I can't stand the fact that dumping someone and being left alone hurts me this much. I'm so tired, I guess it's never worth it.
what do you think, what changed her so much?! what should I do, the only thing is I wanna forget her and all these shitty feelings. all of you who have been in similar situations, help a brother out, I cannot stand the needy condition, nor the agony.