Quote: (09-14-2018 06:14 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
Quote: (09-14-2018 04:57 PM)#_# Wrote:
Although I'm not really comfortable to speak about all this, I'll be honest with ya'all. Chronologically speaking, I've never had a good childhood: problems at home (fighting etc.), bullying both physically and psychologically, being abused because I was fat as a child (think that destroyed my self esteem from the young age), all of this really crippled my sense of self, I never felt true love from anyone (and when someone did, I couldn't accept, thought I did not deserve it), I spent all my life floating around, thinking I didn't really exist. Then I got into college, still chubby, invisible to girls, my anxiety & depression started to overwhelm and I quit. After that I spent some time working on myself, things didn't seem too hopeless then because I had seen some progress. Then both of my parents died in a terrible way, you don't really wanna hear any of that. It took me 6 months just to get over it, PTSD still persists though. Some time later I got a girlfriend, she was amazing, we had a genuinely good relationship, this realtionship kinda saved me, I started to have a positive outlook on life, but one year later she died in a car accident. I don't want to and cannot put into words how much it destroyed me. I hit the absolute bottom and naturally - suicidial thoughts started to join in. I would have taken my life couple of times already if it weren't for people who care for me deeply, I wouldn't want them to suffer the same way I did. Basically, I swore to myself that I would not give up and try to get a better life as long as I'm alive. Getting laid is part of that, but with all of this shit hanging down on my neck it's terribly hard.
I'm only telling this because you asked and I'm thankful that you're interested and want to help me get better. Now, emotional bullshit aside, I really want to get good at this stuff (meaning girls, getting laid n shit.), not because I'm desperate for girls (even though I kinda am, didn't really want to admit it), I want it because I've never had it in my life (not counting a few not-so-great chicks here and there), it would be pretty awesome to be able to get laid like a king. But more than that I want to become a confident individual with a IDGAF attitude, not for girls' sake, I repeat. I read TRP, RooshV and a few other sources, it's all gold but implementing it is VERY FUCKING difficult.
Don't take this post as if I'm crying like a little bitch. I'm not.
Sucks man, BUT:
You're not disfigured, you have a will to improve yourself, and you've found a great community that can absolutely help you get there.
As for your goals, remember that getting laid like a king is pretty damn rare. I think that improving your mental state, your physical state, and your social skills is going to be paramount.
Careful with the IDGAF attitude as it's easy to be over the top with this. You shouldn't care about things that aren't truly important. Failing at picking up any particular girl is not important, what's important is that you improve. Care about what's important instead of about what's not.
OP - It may not be a fashionable thing to say (pity is unfashionable on here and, besides, how can anyone quantify these things?) but it sounds like you have suffered worse than most people around you will have.
I can't prove that but it seems obvious to me.
I'd like to get a sense of where you are in life right now, which is why I ask..
- how long has it been since you lost your parents?
- how long has it been since you lost your girlfriend in a car accident?
It would help to work out what advice might be appropriate here.