Quote: (09-29-2018 01:42 PM)Dr Mantis Toboggan Wrote:
Quote: (09-28-2018 08:56 PM)TimFromDC Wrote:
Quote: (09-18-2018 08:36 PM)Dr Mantis Toboggan Wrote:
Hate to say it, but get a DNA test on the kid you had with her.
The kid is most definitely mine. Looks very little like her and is a splitting image of me.
Based on what you said in the OP, the kid is about 9 months old. Thinking an infant is the "spitting image" of an adult man is your subconscious mind picking out details that resemble yours. Now consider that since she is or was physically attracted to you, she likely is also physically attracted to other guys who have similar physical features to yours.
I'm not saying the kid isn't yours, I'm saying you need to find out for sure. And you need to do it now, for three reasons--first, the kid is young enough that when he gets older he won't remember or ask questions about the time you took him into a strange office and a lady swabbed the inside of his mouth with a Q-tip. Second, if the kid isn't yours, you need to cut that emotional bond off now for your own mental health (as well as the child's and your other kid's), before he starts to get old enough to really develop a personality. Third, financial reasons; not only are you obviously paying every day to raise the kid, but most states have a cutoff somewhere between age 2-4 which is a deadline for a man to dispute paternity. If you miss that deadline and later find out the kid isn't yours, you're on the hook for child support to age 18 even if you can prove with 100% certainty that the kid isn't yours.
Seriously, the very next time your girlfriend leaves you alone with the kid you need to get him tested. Have the documentation sent to an address your wife doesn't know about (your work or a friend/family member's house if you feel comfortable doing that). If it's yours, great, go about your life and your wife never needs to know you even checked. If it isn't yours, you are infinitely better off knowing that. You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing this (aside from the relatively minimal cost of the test) and an absolute shit ton, maybe even your life if you find out when the kid is older and it drives you insane, to lose by not doing it. On the other hand, since you guys aren't married, if the kid isn't yours then there is absolutely nothing keeping you there and you can be out of the relationship as quickly as you can figure out how to handle the house (assuming both of your names are on the deed, if it's only yours then even easier).
And the thing is, if you've read this whole post then you'll never be able to get it out of your head anyway unless you can force yourself into denial--so you may as well just go do it and save yourself a lifetime of wondering.
As far as the kid being mine, I have no doubt. It's not me being in denial. I have a distinctive look. I have reddish hair and bright blue eyes. My girlfriend has brown hair and brown eyes. The baby has my color hair and eyes. Looks just like me when I was a baby.