Women respond to your perception of yourself more than your actual self. This can cause problems for ambitious men who are focused on their goals because they are constantly comparing themselves with an as-yet-unattained target self. When you see less productive, less put-together men being successful with women it causes you to feel resentment because it seems unfair. But what is unfair is not the actions of these women, or in fact women in general, but your own evaluation of yourself.
In the long-run the solution to maintaining your confidence whilst striving to better yourself is deep acceptance that you are not your business (nor the car you drive, your athletic trophies, or anything else). In the short-run you want to, as you say, 'get your dick wet'. This attitude is likely hurting you more than it is helping you because you will be initiating interactions with women who you are not especially attracted to simply to get another notch. There is a distinction between a man who enjoys sex so much that he doesn't need to have eyes on a relationship to have sex and a man who is looking to a woman, nay any woman! for validation.
You have moved away from friends who it seems were far less ambitious than you and intent on sticking to a dissolute way of life. This usually does not happen overnight and so I expect you tried many times to encourage one or more of them to join you on the path to becoming more successful. This typically means that you have a lot of practice in giving well-considered advice to others that gets totally ignored. Your post is well constructed and leaves some important clues:
"I don't want to come off as a creep"
"I don't get intimate and have long deep conversations in bed with women anymore"
You care too much about what other people think and these people don't care about you. As in- don't care about your well-being. I suggest you do the following:
1) Stop explaining yourself to others. Don't explain your actions, your political beliefs, your deep personal thoughts, anything. No doubt you are articulate and hold some interesting positions but the problem is that you are communicating to others and to yourself that you need their opinion, permission or validation. This is helpful when interacting with a good friend or mentor but most people are far less competent than you are. You will know this is working when you begin to internalize that others don't need to understand your justification in order for YOU to act.
2) Be more direct with women whom you find attractive. For now, learning Game is not what you need because it allows you to focus on maximizing percentages, controlling interactions, anything but actually confronting your fear of attractive women and/or shame about sex. Given your description of yourself, if you tell 20 women that you find them attractive and want them to come with you to X (where X is something you want to do anyway, not contrived to please a woman) then at least one will say 'yes'. Experiencing the rejections that you are trying to avoid and discovering that the world does not end is essential for your own growth.
3) Write down a list of 5 things you are looking for in a woman other than pure physical attraction. This will enable you to move your attention to something other than her looks and shift the frame to one where you are being selective. The more authentic the better. As a personal example, I ask women what the last book they read was and then follow up with a few related questions. For context I read around 100 books a year and have done so since I was a child. My deep interest in ideas means that conversations with the vast majority of women bore the hell out of me. 'Asking women what they read' is not a particularly useful game tactic and, in a vacuum, would reduce my chances of getting the notch with a lot of women. But because I am asking out of genuine self-interest it has made it easier to get intimate with those women who resonate with me.
That should help you. If not, I'm confident it will help another chap in a similar predicament. Good luck out there.
In the long-run the solution to maintaining your confidence whilst striving to better yourself is deep acceptance that you are not your business (nor the car you drive, your athletic trophies, or anything else). In the short-run you want to, as you say, 'get your dick wet'. This attitude is likely hurting you more than it is helping you because you will be initiating interactions with women who you are not especially attracted to simply to get another notch. There is a distinction between a man who enjoys sex so much that he doesn't need to have eyes on a relationship to have sex and a man who is looking to a woman, nay any woman! for validation.
You have moved away from friends who it seems were far less ambitious than you and intent on sticking to a dissolute way of life. This usually does not happen overnight and so I expect you tried many times to encourage one or more of them to join you on the path to becoming more successful. This typically means that you have a lot of practice in giving well-considered advice to others that gets totally ignored. Your post is well constructed and leaves some important clues:
"I don't want to come off as a creep"
"I don't get intimate and have long deep conversations in bed with women anymore"
You care too much about what other people think and these people don't care about you. As in- don't care about your well-being. I suggest you do the following:
1) Stop explaining yourself to others. Don't explain your actions, your political beliefs, your deep personal thoughts, anything. No doubt you are articulate and hold some interesting positions but the problem is that you are communicating to others and to yourself that you need their opinion, permission or validation. This is helpful when interacting with a good friend or mentor but most people are far less competent than you are. You will know this is working when you begin to internalize that others don't need to understand your justification in order for YOU to act.
2) Be more direct with women whom you find attractive. For now, learning Game is not what you need because it allows you to focus on maximizing percentages, controlling interactions, anything but actually confronting your fear of attractive women and/or shame about sex. Given your description of yourself, if you tell 20 women that you find them attractive and want them to come with you to X (where X is something you want to do anyway, not contrived to please a woman) then at least one will say 'yes'. Experiencing the rejections that you are trying to avoid and discovering that the world does not end is essential for your own growth.
3) Write down a list of 5 things you are looking for in a woman other than pure physical attraction. This will enable you to move your attention to something other than her looks and shift the frame to one where you are being selective. The more authentic the better. As a personal example, I ask women what the last book they read was and then follow up with a few related questions. For context I read around 100 books a year and have done so since I was a child. My deep interest in ideas means that conversations with the vast majority of women bore the hell out of me. 'Asking women what they read' is not a particularly useful game tactic and, in a vacuum, would reduce my chances of getting the notch with a lot of women. But because I am asking out of genuine self-interest it has made it easier to get intimate with those women who resonate with me.
That should help you. If not, I'm confident it will help another chap in a similar predicament. Good luck out there.