Quote: (09-06-2018 10:38 PM)Investment Bro Wrote:
Quote: (09-06-2018 04:20 PM)Professor When Wrote:
Look at Investment Bro's story. I have never been subject to an unconditional act of kindness from women my own age. So I have to wonder, what is he leaving out? Or what did she have to gain?
The part that was left out was mentioned above. We had a good connection. Also, we were both younger and much less cynical.
I can understand why you would view this as a give and take. Had I not been successful early, I can see myself feeling the same way. The thing with women that I realized early, as long as you maintain strong emotional engagement with them, they will continuously give to you without you having to give much in return.
You tell me, do you think you're lacking in your ability to emotionally engage women? This is an honest question.
Probably. I'm not even sure what it means to emotionally engage them. I tend to be funny and charming, but there's always the issue of being at arms length. Many seem to enjoy my company, but there is always the problem where if I am not the one making contact and forcing myself into their view, they just sort of forget about me. You may have seen how I go through constant cycles of LJBF and ghosting women while they seem perfectly content to let me move on.
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Quote: (09-06-2018 04:20 PM)Professor When Wrote:
I think it is possible that you are looking at the wrong order of cause and effect with some of the people that you deem to have too much of those negative traits that cause their unhappiness.
Both you and the OP are caught in the same negative feedback loop, but thankfully both of you know it. That means you can break free.
The cause of the problem: lack of positive emotional and sexual experiences with women.
The effect: Greater difficulty having positive emotional and sexual experiences with women. Leads to further resentment, which leads back to a lack of positive emotional and sexual experiences.
For me, the best way to end this loop is to become more physically attractive. I hope to build from there, since it's very hard to get any experience when I can't get past the first line.
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Quote: (09-06-2018 04:20 PM)Professor When Wrote:
I get outright ignored. I'm not some autistic sperg that can barely stutter out a "hello," but I will sit down next to a girl in class or try to chat with a girl hanging around campus and she will not utter a word to me. I talk, they look at me, and they go back to whatever they were doing. This happened twice today.
Can you tell us a little bit more about how you opened them? This definitely happens to all of us, but do you think you're coming off as a little bit mechanical? That's the sense I'm getting based on your general tone.
The last few went like this:
1) The first class was held in a library screening room with nice leather chairs. I sat next to a girl and commented "That's comfy. Are all of the classroom here this relaxing?" She looked at me for a second then went back to her phone.
2) A later class had the professor cracking obnoxious jokes and generally having fun explaining the premise of the class. I noticed one of the girls near me was laughing a lot and nodding along. As we walked out I commented "You looked like you were having fun, have you been in [teacher]'s classes before?" She said "yeah," then ducked into a nearby bathroom.
3) Last one I was outside a classroom early and the door was locked, a girl walks up and tries the door so I ask "are you looking for [class]?" she was, then she sat down on the bench next to me and waited. I said "This class seems like it will be really interesting, are you excited for the first day?" She grunts at me then whips out her phone.
They mostly go like that. I ask an innocuous question and she gives me nothing to work with. I wouldn't say I'm mechanical, but I tend to be overly eloquent based on the way my parents raised me. People sometimes give me shit about it, so I do work to dumb down my speech patterns a bit.
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Quote: (09-06-2018 04:20 PM)Professor When Wrote:
You cannot honestly tell me that you think one needs game just to chat. There must be something else going on. I never have those problems when I engage a group of people, even ones of all women. There's not a smooth curve on the graph of quality men for who women are receptive to. There is a sharp cliff where after a certain point women regard you as almost nonhuman. So while both the OP and I can certainly rectify this by improving ourselves, don't make believe that our attitude and negativity sprang from nowhere to cause our failure.
You're definitely right, negativity does not just spring up on it's own, nor did I suggest that. Can you tell me a little bit more about the attempts at conversation? It's very possible you just opened some mean spirited bitches. Happens to the best of us.
The degree to which women are receptive is so situationally complex. That's part of the reason there's such an emphasis initially on reading IOIs. It's a lot easier talking to a receptive woman as opposed to just sitting next to someone and trying to strike up conversation. Of course, you should attempt to open as many women as possible, but understand that the majority of them will not like you. I'm tall, in good shape, and average looks. Even with what I would say is good game, I do get ignored.
I promise though, the rewards are worth it. There's nothing like your first real game success. The second you have it, you'll find yourself in a much different place.
That's what I'm hoping. Once I start seeing more success I'll begin to enjoy the process, failures and all. In my current state I often question if it's worth it to bother. OP seems to be even further down that path. Unfortunately, given that he hasn't responded to this thread in 3 days, I think he may have been scared off.