I tend to do a lot of first dates over coffee or a quick drink, with almost no physical escalation other than maybe a few light touches when it’s relevant to the conversation. They get to see I’m interesting, socially calibrated, and aloof enough that I don’t seem to care about banging them while still obviously not a beta chode. I do tend to escalate verbally in the sense that I’m very open, sexually speaking. Then for the second date I invite them over for lunch or dinner at my place and usually get the bang with zero resistance, sometimes almost immediately after they walk in the door.
On the flip side I’ve had first dates where we had heavy makeouts or fooled around without actually fucking, and have had to backpedal afterwards because the girl freaked out about it.
On the flip side I’ve had first dates where we had heavy makeouts or fooled around without actually fucking, and have had to backpedal afterwards because the girl freaked out about it.