I am back!, question about escalating and dominance at bars, clubs and dates
07-11-2018, 10:27 AM
Hey guys, I am back after a really long hiatus from the forum.
Quick update, then lead into my question.
All last year was crazy. After finally getting over my ex-wife. I was approaching like a mad man. I met some good buddies that happen to be at the same stage as me, and we worked the field like crazy .
I used every crutch imaginable, alcohol, peer pressure, personal investment (so much so I forestalled paying off my debts until the end of the year).
Used every excuse to go out to bars, clubs, shopping malls with both my new found wingmen, and other networks of friends. Averaged 10-20 approaches a day, 3-4 days a week depending on the venue.
I eventually got nicknamed "the blue-ball" king. Getting make out's and hand jobs, only for the women not to finish or go home with me.
After 8 long months of this, I Finally broke through that and got some lays every month. Including seducing an escort in Vegas (I say seduced because she never once asked to be paid until we got done screwing and she yelled "oh shit, we need to discuss payment")
***THE QUESTION***
So I got some success now, even caught myself getting trapped by oneitis which I thankfully broke off.
But I still have a problem escalating and showing dominance. Mentally I know, she is flirting, obeying me, or went on a date. But at the bars, clubs and on dates (especially on dates) I just get caught in my head "is talking sexually OK at this moment?"
I have banged from bars and clubs, but not bang from a single date. I have a few lined up this weekend, and which ever one doesn't flake, I am going to come off straight away trying to sexualize the encounter.
I look through some people's chat messages from online dating and it always feels surreal how quickly they sexualize the conversation (usually in 4-5 messages!)
Any kind of practice guidelines? Something I can apply and will surely work 1 out 5 times but will get my head used to being that way early on?
Quick update, then lead into my question.
All last year was crazy. After finally getting over my ex-wife. I was approaching like a mad man. I met some good buddies that happen to be at the same stage as me, and we worked the field like crazy .
I used every crutch imaginable, alcohol, peer pressure, personal investment (so much so I forestalled paying off my debts until the end of the year).
Used every excuse to go out to bars, clubs, shopping malls with both my new found wingmen, and other networks of friends. Averaged 10-20 approaches a day, 3-4 days a week depending on the venue.
I eventually got nicknamed "the blue-ball" king. Getting make out's and hand jobs, only for the women not to finish or go home with me.
After 8 long months of this, I Finally broke through that and got some lays every month. Including seducing an escort in Vegas (I say seduced because she never once asked to be paid until we got done screwing and she yelled "oh shit, we need to discuss payment")
***THE QUESTION***
So I got some success now, even caught myself getting trapped by oneitis which I thankfully broke off.
But I still have a problem escalating and showing dominance. Mentally I know, she is flirting, obeying me, or went on a date. But at the bars, clubs and on dates (especially on dates) I just get caught in my head "is talking sexually OK at this moment?"
I have banged from bars and clubs, but not bang from a single date. I have a few lined up this weekend, and which ever one doesn't flake, I am going to come off straight away trying to sexualize the encounter.
I look through some people's chat messages from online dating and it always feels surreal how quickly they sexualize the conversation (usually in 4-5 messages!)
Any kind of practice guidelines? Something I can apply and will surely work 1 out 5 times but will get my head used to being that way early on?