Delta, I feel you man. I feel like we're in a similar spot in life although you're probably a little more attractive and most likely more financially sound than me. The stats don't really matter though. Remember we're on a game forum, it's all in your behavior my dude.
Let me be clear. The dating market is fucked up. I'm a 6'1 white guy with blonde hair blue eyes. I have modest physique, not really in amazing shape but I'm not a slouch. I run 2-3 miles and lift at least once a week. I'm a healthy weight with functional muscle mass. I have my own car, my job lets me be extremely independent and make my own schedule, I have good friends, love my family, no tattoos (not to get all hank moody but I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing), and am impressively handy. Like I can run electric conduit, fix a car, use power tools, play chess, read philosophy, amazing with computers, etc etc etc. I'm an extremely effective problem solver. I don't have any pedigree at all I had to learn all this stuff to entertain myself and survive (once again, that could count against me, but for a lot of women that are middle class and below it should be good right?). I'm not rich, I have a weird face and fucked up teeth, I mean I'm not deformed, I do have all my teeth, I work hard on my appearance to make up for it but still should be good right?
By all reasonable accounts I should be in the top 20% of men. Just look at the stats right? I have to work fucking haaaaard to break through a woman's bitch shields. Like ridiculously hard, it gets me the fuck down sometimes. Online dating is soul crushing, and i mean it. It fucks my ego bad. I routinely get salty as fuck when I get rejected online by some paunchy 5 I thought I would be doing a favor by using her as a slump buster.
Let me tell you what gets me through it. One my accomplishments, I don't need a woman to tell me I did well for myself with the hand I was delt, and I don't need a woman to show me that I'm the shit. You know what? I used to think about it like this and I even made my own stupid term for it. I used to think of women as biological indicators of success, and by all accounts on the surface that's what it looks like. You see a successful man you see a good looking woman that adores him right? Wrong. He's successful because he's successful, his wife or girlfriend didn't do it for him. It's all him man, the woman didn't do shit but follow her programming. She likely is a net loss on his life. Most these girls we're going after are fucking losers. Like good old Patrice (RIP) used to say, you take any one of these beautiful women and put them into a mans body and tell them to get to work? They'll be sucking dick for 20 dollar bills by the end of the day. They could never do what you or I had done. So then there's a little resentment right? I feel it too sometimes, even my tone as you can tell is a little salty. But we're different organisms, we might as well live on different planets. We serve completely different functions. And once I stop comparing myself to a woman (which is insane by the way) I snap the fuck out of it. And the hard part for me was to actually put aside the resentment and put aside the stupid comparisons and actually love women for the way they are. You compare a woman to a man and in almost every way besides a few niche psychological phenomenonas, and being sexually attractive and bearing children they just do not hold up. They age like shit, they're ditzy as fuck, they have rarely have street smarts. They really are overgrown children. And you know what at the end of the day, after all the shit I talk. I love them for it and that's why we're all here. You gotta remember, women don't go around comparing themselves to men (at least in any serious capacity, they wouldn't know how if they tried). They have their little beauty game, their little sex appeal game, their social game, and they are kaput my friend. They hit the goddamn wall. They're fragile, everything about them. You have to respect their hustle, it's not our hustle but you have to respect it. They get a really small window during which for most of it they're confused, lost, insecure, broken inside. The only real power most of them have is beauty and social prowess, and they don't even know how to wield it, what a fucking Greek tragedy right? The only reason women can even exist in the west the way it is is because men let them and they have extraordinary psychological defense mechanisms. Notice how they cry at everygoddamn thing. They live in the moment, they cry and they're done. They don't ponder for hours on end like we do, they don't have time for that shit.
Which brings me to my next point. Being a man is awesome as fuck. You actually have the capacity to control your own destiny in a serious way. You have MUCH broader options in life. You want to snag an 8 and you're a 5. YOU. CAN. DO. IT. Sure, it's hard, but so is life and so is being a man but the important part is it's possible. Make money, lift weights, study game until your eyes bleed and the anxiety goes away. Do you know how smart,lucky, and perfect storm receiving a female 5 has to be to lock down a male 8 and get that sweet sweet commitment and genes, like a real male 8 we're talking about by female standards. An alpha male with status, options, looks, game and money. Ridiculously hard and she probably only has a 10 year window to do it. Even if she does she'll probably fuck it up after wasting her prime doing it. We're not on the same kind of time with such limited options. That's part of why the sexual market is fucked up, they have to leverage all their shit, quick, right now and they're good at it. And of course our society is enabling some awful behaviour and all that but that's where we are right now. That's where you see women having almost unfathomable power in the sexual marketplace, me and you aren't going to change it. But we can look after ourselves and eachother man. Learn game, it's the A++ secret fucking weapon, you learn enough game and make the right lifestyle choices and it's all possible.
So that's why we learn game and subject ourselves to the harsh truths of the reality. People have probably been saying it's hard as fuck for 1000s of years. It's not getting any easier. Just know it's possible.
I'm having immense frustration right now just trying to get a few plates spinning after getting out of a failed LTR, let alone finding the mother of my children. But you know what man, every year or so I run into some honest to god prospects, and every year I fuck it up. That's on me, nobody but this forum has ever helped me with that struggle and ya'll are great with your knowledge but there's only so much that can be done behind a computer screen, and even if there was nobody is going to hand it to me. We all know this, and it's easy to get demoralized about it. But brother, you gotta push yourself out of that defeatist mindset. If we're being honest with eachother you and I both know there are PLENTY of mother-worthy single young girls out there then the real question is what the fuck are you going to do to get one, keep yourself sane, screen correctly, and a whole myriad of other balancing acts. For me it's enough to know that it's possible and within my reach or at least it will be eventually. As long as you keep working on yourself and learning game and be diligent, gather wisdom and all these other virtues you will do it. It's a daily struggle dude, you can't let anything slip. That includes keeping a healthy mindset. How often have you got too comfortable and complacent with an LTR and it bites you in the ass? Or how about got depressed and your girl loses respect for you because she sees weakness or some other fucked up shit that you think women would be sympathetic about? I have, i have a lot. Our whole lives or like that for us man, and it's never going to change. So with a lot of work and a little luck you can get what you want.
Also remember to get offline for a good period of time every now and then. The regular sexual market is tough, but online is SOUL CRUSHING. You know what I'm talking about, it's not representative of real life and it will fuck your ego up.
Wish you the best my brother, I'm on some painkillers from a recent minor surgery hope this world salad makes sense.
Let me be clear. The dating market is fucked up. I'm a 6'1 white guy with blonde hair blue eyes. I have modest physique, not really in amazing shape but I'm not a slouch. I run 2-3 miles and lift at least once a week. I'm a healthy weight with functional muscle mass. I have my own car, my job lets me be extremely independent and make my own schedule, I have good friends, love my family, no tattoos (not to get all hank moody but I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing), and am impressively handy. Like I can run electric conduit, fix a car, use power tools, play chess, read philosophy, amazing with computers, etc etc etc. I'm an extremely effective problem solver. I don't have any pedigree at all I had to learn all this stuff to entertain myself and survive (once again, that could count against me, but for a lot of women that are middle class and below it should be good right?). I'm not rich, I have a weird face and fucked up teeth, I mean I'm not deformed, I do have all my teeth, I work hard on my appearance to make up for it but still should be good right?
By all reasonable accounts I should be in the top 20% of men. Just look at the stats right? I have to work fucking haaaaard to break through a woman's bitch shields. Like ridiculously hard, it gets me the fuck down sometimes. Online dating is soul crushing, and i mean it. It fucks my ego bad. I routinely get salty as fuck when I get rejected online by some paunchy 5 I thought I would be doing a favor by using her as a slump buster.
Let me tell you what gets me through it. One my accomplishments, I don't need a woman to tell me I did well for myself with the hand I was delt, and I don't need a woman to show me that I'm the shit. You know what? I used to think about it like this and I even made my own stupid term for it. I used to think of women as biological indicators of success, and by all accounts on the surface that's what it looks like. You see a successful man you see a good looking woman that adores him right? Wrong. He's successful because he's successful, his wife or girlfriend didn't do it for him. It's all him man, the woman didn't do shit but follow her programming. She likely is a net loss on his life. Most these girls we're going after are fucking losers. Like good old Patrice (RIP) used to say, you take any one of these beautiful women and put them into a mans body and tell them to get to work? They'll be sucking dick for 20 dollar bills by the end of the day. They could never do what you or I had done. So then there's a little resentment right? I feel it too sometimes, even my tone as you can tell is a little salty. But we're different organisms, we might as well live on different planets. We serve completely different functions. And once I stop comparing myself to a woman (which is insane by the way) I snap the fuck out of it. And the hard part for me was to actually put aside the resentment and put aside the stupid comparisons and actually love women for the way they are. You compare a woman to a man and in almost every way besides a few niche psychological phenomenonas, and being sexually attractive and bearing children they just do not hold up. They age like shit, they're ditzy as fuck, they have rarely have street smarts. They really are overgrown children. And you know what at the end of the day, after all the shit I talk. I love them for it and that's why we're all here. You gotta remember, women don't go around comparing themselves to men (at least in any serious capacity, they wouldn't know how if they tried). They have their little beauty game, their little sex appeal game, their social game, and they are kaput my friend. They hit the goddamn wall. They're fragile, everything about them. You have to respect their hustle, it's not our hustle but you have to respect it. They get a really small window during which for most of it they're confused, lost, insecure, broken inside. The only real power most of them have is beauty and social prowess, and they don't even know how to wield it, what a fucking Greek tragedy right? The only reason women can even exist in the west the way it is is because men let them and they have extraordinary psychological defense mechanisms. Notice how they cry at everygoddamn thing. They live in the moment, they cry and they're done. They don't ponder for hours on end like we do, they don't have time for that shit.
Which brings me to my next point. Being a man is awesome as fuck. You actually have the capacity to control your own destiny in a serious way. You have MUCH broader options in life. You want to snag an 8 and you're a 5. YOU. CAN. DO. IT. Sure, it's hard, but so is life and so is being a man but the important part is it's possible. Make money, lift weights, study game until your eyes bleed and the anxiety goes away. Do you know how smart,lucky, and perfect storm receiving a female 5 has to be to lock down a male 8 and get that sweet sweet commitment and genes, like a real male 8 we're talking about by female standards. An alpha male with status, options, looks, game and money. Ridiculously hard and she probably only has a 10 year window to do it. Even if she does she'll probably fuck it up after wasting her prime doing it. We're not on the same kind of time with such limited options. That's part of why the sexual market is fucked up, they have to leverage all their shit, quick, right now and they're good at it. And of course our society is enabling some awful behaviour and all that but that's where we are right now. That's where you see women having almost unfathomable power in the sexual marketplace, me and you aren't going to change it. But we can look after ourselves and eachother man. Learn game, it's the A++ secret fucking weapon, you learn enough game and make the right lifestyle choices and it's all possible.
So that's why we learn game and subject ourselves to the harsh truths of the reality. People have probably been saying it's hard as fuck for 1000s of years. It's not getting any easier. Just know it's possible.
I'm having immense frustration right now just trying to get a few plates spinning after getting out of a failed LTR, let alone finding the mother of my children. But you know what man, every year or so I run into some honest to god prospects, and every year I fuck it up. That's on me, nobody but this forum has ever helped me with that struggle and ya'll are great with your knowledge but there's only so much that can be done behind a computer screen, and even if there was nobody is going to hand it to me. We all know this, and it's easy to get demoralized about it. But brother, you gotta push yourself out of that defeatist mindset. If we're being honest with eachother you and I both know there are PLENTY of mother-worthy single young girls out there then the real question is what the fuck are you going to do to get one, keep yourself sane, screen correctly, and a whole myriad of other balancing acts. For me it's enough to know that it's possible and within my reach or at least it will be eventually. As long as you keep working on yourself and learning game and be diligent, gather wisdom and all these other virtues you will do it. It's a daily struggle dude, you can't let anything slip. That includes keeping a healthy mindset. How often have you got too comfortable and complacent with an LTR and it bites you in the ass? Or how about got depressed and your girl loses respect for you because she sees weakness or some other fucked up shit that you think women would be sympathetic about? I have, i have a lot. Our whole lives or like that for us man, and it's never going to change. So with a lot of work and a little luck you can get what you want.
Also remember to get offline for a good period of time every now and then. The regular sexual market is tough, but online is SOUL CRUSHING. You know what I'm talking about, it's not representative of real life and it will fuck your ego up.
Wish you the best my brother, I'm on some painkillers from a recent minor surgery hope this world salad makes sense.