I'm not by any stretch a newbie or a virgin or anything like that, but this topic seems more appropriate for the newbie forum.
Simply put, my mind is worn out and my spirit is broken when it comes to pursuing women. They just do not meet me halfway, or even a tenth of the way. I take an interest in them, make a concerted effort to learn about them, rack my brain to think of funny or clever or interesting things to say, and 95% of the time they return the favor by answering in the most succinct, boring, conversation-killing way conceivable. Virtually all women take zero interest in getting to know me.
The question you'd naturally have after reading that is "look in the mirror, are you the type of guy women should want to get to know?" Totally fair question as plenty of fat unkempt losers make these complaints, but I'm not one. I have the physique of a serious athlete, I have a fantastic job and pays nicely and provides good work/life balance, I pay closer attention to clothing and grooming than most guys, and since these unfortunately matter to girls, I'll throw in that I'm tall and white. What adds to my bewilderment is the fact that most of these girls are no more attractive (often less) than ones I've been with in the past.
Again there's a natural question here- "Well how did you get attractive girls in the past?" Same way as now, just grinding countless hours talking to shitty timewasters until a miracle happened and a cute girl actually showed some life and enthusiasm. But honestly every time that happened, it felt like a fluke. And things seem to be getting worse and worse as time goes on and the dating market gets more efficient... every non-fat, non-hideous girl who puts herself out there has a practically unlimited supply of offers from guys like me.
At this point, in my head it least, it feels like I won't get another miracle. My mind is conditioned to associate dating only with the soul-crushing experience of putting in tons of effort and getting none in return from girls who are in worse shape, dumber, and less accomplished than me, and it has killed my energy and motivation. It just feels like I have no power over the situation; I've taken care of everything within my control (all of which is frankly easy compared to this), but I can't control the motivations of other people. Male attention is just cheap as fuck to young women and there's nothing any of us can do about it.
I'm not sure what point I'm even trying to make here, I guess I just wanted to vent and get my thoughts down in writing. It'd also be nice to know if I'm the only one going through this crisis. Maybe I give off an off-putting vibe, maybe I'm in an exceptionally terrible location, or maybe I was just naive ever expecting things to be any other way. I really don't know.
Simply put, my mind is worn out and my spirit is broken when it comes to pursuing women. They just do not meet me halfway, or even a tenth of the way. I take an interest in them, make a concerted effort to learn about them, rack my brain to think of funny or clever or interesting things to say, and 95% of the time they return the favor by answering in the most succinct, boring, conversation-killing way conceivable. Virtually all women take zero interest in getting to know me.
The question you'd naturally have after reading that is "look in the mirror, are you the type of guy women should want to get to know?" Totally fair question as plenty of fat unkempt losers make these complaints, but I'm not one. I have the physique of a serious athlete, I have a fantastic job and pays nicely and provides good work/life balance, I pay closer attention to clothing and grooming than most guys, and since these unfortunately matter to girls, I'll throw in that I'm tall and white. What adds to my bewilderment is the fact that most of these girls are no more attractive (often less) than ones I've been with in the past.
Again there's a natural question here- "Well how did you get attractive girls in the past?" Same way as now, just grinding countless hours talking to shitty timewasters until a miracle happened and a cute girl actually showed some life and enthusiasm. But honestly every time that happened, it felt like a fluke. And things seem to be getting worse and worse as time goes on and the dating market gets more efficient... every non-fat, non-hideous girl who puts herself out there has a practically unlimited supply of offers from guys like me.
At this point, in my head it least, it feels like I won't get another miracle. My mind is conditioned to associate dating only with the soul-crushing experience of putting in tons of effort and getting none in return from girls who are in worse shape, dumber, and less accomplished than me, and it has killed my energy and motivation. It just feels like I have no power over the situation; I've taken care of everything within my control (all of which is frankly easy compared to this), but I can't control the motivations of other people. Male attention is just cheap as fuck to young women and there's nothing any of us can do about it.
I'm not sure what point I'm even trying to make here, I guess I just wanted to vent and get my thoughts down in writing. It'd also be nice to know if I'm the only one going through this crisis. Maybe I give off an off-putting vibe, maybe I'm in an exceptionally terrible location, or maybe I was just naive ever expecting things to be any other way. I really don't know.