We all feel like we should be doing a lot of things.
When I got into MIT I thought I was going to be the next Bill Gates, Ray Stata, Tom Perkins, or Eli Broad, I ended up in a Lab in the suburbs of Massachusetts building optics and programming tactical data systems for the DOD making 32k per year..... I was depressed...
When I got into contracting for the Navy and USMC overseas in a war zone. I thought I was going to be a thought leader for what I was working on. I lived in a shipping container and spent 27 months getting fucking screamed at about quotas... I was depressed....
When I left that job and joined a startup, I thought I was going to be the guy that made out like a bandit on my options package in two years. The company took 7 years to IPO..... I was depressed...
After 3 vesting periods for the aforementioned startup I left the USA and joined the French Foreign Legion. I thought I was going to become a soldier of fortune. I broke my leg 20 weeks into training jumping out of a plane and went back to the US.... I was depressed...
I took up training as a saturation diver in the Northwest thinking I was going to become the next Jacques Cousteau. I ended up doing demolitions and pipeline NDT testing on oil rigs for 1.5 years.... I was depressed...
I went back to the French Foreign Legion fully recovered and commenced training again. I completed it and was assigned to a regiment. I was ready for combat. They sent me to Djibouti where I sweated my balls off and entered South Sudan with a loaded rifle I could not use during a Genocide.... I was depressed...
I left Djibouti to go to Afghanistan. Finally it was my chance to become Rambo... 47 operations later I got shot.... I was depressed...
I rehabbed in Germany got my shit together and went back to my regiment. Did two operations and I got severely shot (again) which ended my military career... thus my Rambo fantasies were over... I was depressed....
Started my own business and today make very good money and am location independent.... I still get depressed...
My point is no matter your goals, if you're highly motivated nothing you ever do will be enough for you. Anyone that tells you they are 100% happy no matter their station in life are full of shit.
During the aforementioned, I was married once, bought 3 condos, lost one and paid alimony. I made money and lost money. Contemplated killing myself many times during this time. I survived some pretty fucked up shit and still have not had a great nights sleep since.
But my father drove into my head when I was a kid... no matter what someone always has it worse than me.
I'm in my mid 30's now... I live abroad and very financially secure. I still get depressed.
Mostly I get depressed over shit out of my control. In these cases I do my best to focus on what's within my control. I'm actually pretty horrible at this and my temper can be out of control sometimes.
But I still actively do my best to focus on what I can do to progress my career and better the lives of my partners and other people I work with including close friends.
Most times this means taking the focus off of me during those times of depression.
I'm currently battling some regulatory bullshit in Eastern Europe. It's depressing me right this moment. But I've been sitting back some nights reflecting on my past and thinking I'm a pretty lucky mother fucker to even be sitting here dealing with this bullshit.
It's not bad. But always remember. Wherever you go there you are.
When I got into MIT I thought I was going to be the next Bill Gates, Ray Stata, Tom Perkins, or Eli Broad, I ended up in a Lab in the suburbs of Massachusetts building optics and programming tactical data systems for the DOD making 32k per year..... I was depressed...
When I got into contracting for the Navy and USMC overseas in a war zone. I thought I was going to be a thought leader for what I was working on. I lived in a shipping container and spent 27 months getting fucking screamed at about quotas... I was depressed....
When I left that job and joined a startup, I thought I was going to be the guy that made out like a bandit on my options package in two years. The company took 7 years to IPO..... I was depressed...
After 3 vesting periods for the aforementioned startup I left the USA and joined the French Foreign Legion. I thought I was going to become a soldier of fortune. I broke my leg 20 weeks into training jumping out of a plane and went back to the US.... I was depressed...
I took up training as a saturation diver in the Northwest thinking I was going to become the next Jacques Cousteau. I ended up doing demolitions and pipeline NDT testing on oil rigs for 1.5 years.... I was depressed...
I went back to the French Foreign Legion fully recovered and commenced training again. I completed it and was assigned to a regiment. I was ready for combat. They sent me to Djibouti where I sweated my balls off and entered South Sudan with a loaded rifle I could not use during a Genocide.... I was depressed...
I left Djibouti to go to Afghanistan. Finally it was my chance to become Rambo... 47 operations later I got shot.... I was depressed...
I rehabbed in Germany got my shit together and went back to my regiment. Did two operations and I got severely shot (again) which ended my military career... thus my Rambo fantasies were over... I was depressed....
Started my own business and today make very good money and am location independent.... I still get depressed...
My point is no matter your goals, if you're highly motivated nothing you ever do will be enough for you. Anyone that tells you they are 100% happy no matter their station in life are full of shit.
During the aforementioned, I was married once, bought 3 condos, lost one and paid alimony. I made money and lost money. Contemplated killing myself many times during this time. I survived some pretty fucked up shit and still have not had a great nights sleep since.
But my father drove into my head when I was a kid... no matter what someone always has it worse than me.
I'm in my mid 30's now... I live abroad and very financially secure. I still get depressed.
Mostly I get depressed over shit out of my control. In these cases I do my best to focus on what's within my control. I'm actually pretty horrible at this and my temper can be out of control sometimes.
But I still actively do my best to focus on what I can do to progress my career and better the lives of my partners and other people I work with including close friends.
Most times this means taking the focus off of me during those times of depression.
I'm currently battling some regulatory bullshit in Eastern Europe. It's depressing me right this moment. But I've been sitting back some nights reflecting on my past and thinking I'm a pretty lucky mother fucker to even be sitting here dealing with this bullshit.
It's not bad. But always remember. Wherever you go there you are.