Quote: (04-11-2018 03:04 AM)3extra Wrote:
From TLOZ, arguably the greatest single post on the forum:
Quote:Quote:
Don't Let Frustration With Women Make You Feel Bad About Life In General
Something that I've been feeling a lot on the forum recently (and not only here) is that a lot of men seem very unhappy and negative about life, the way things are, and the future. Not everyone and at all times, of course -- there are also guys who are happy, energetic, confident in the present and optimistic about the future. But there is a surprising amount of near-desperation that shows itself in all sorts of ways and in different places.
I think that a lot of this frustration, unhappiness, and near-desperation comes from a single source: men are very unhappy and despondent about the whole part of life that consists of their relations with women. And because that is such an important part of a man's life -- often the most important one -- this unhappiness and frustration stains the way guys feel about life in general and about the world, even where it comes to things that are completely unrelated to women.
The frustration that I'm talking about is very broadly that men are unhappy with the way women are. I don't mean just guys that have trouble getting laid -- of course these men are generally unhappy and frustrated about that. But even men who have some degree of sexual success are frustrated by how unsatisfying their interactions with women often are, how hard they have to work in return for relatively little. And even ultimate players and super-alphas are often unhappy and disappointed with the way women are -- yes, they get sex and worship from them with ease, but that very ease and the idiocy of that worship is something that can cause consternation in a thoughtful and decent man.
To put it simply, men just want women to be nice, sweet and feminine, and not smartphone-besotted psychos. It seems like not too much to ask, right? But apparently, it is too much. And the ever-present (and growing) gap between that simple wish, and the very different reality, causes an untold amount of misery and frustration.
Why is the gap so acute now? I believe that the basic nature of women has always been the same, and has not fundamentally changed. However, social conditions are such that they bring out the worst qualities in women. One can speculate about the reasons for this and how things are likely to go in the future, and this has been discussed endlessly and ad nauseam here and elsewhere. But in some sense the reasons don't really matter. Things are what they are right now; no one knows the future, but everyone has to deal with the present.
In response to this reality men have developed various strategies, have improved their game and lifestyle, and some have traveled abroad in search of a better situation with women. That's a lot of what this forum is about, and I'm all for that. Many of these strategies are useful and effective and should be pursued with vigor. However, when it comes to the world of eros, the truth is that for many if not most men this world remains a difficult and frustrating one. Game, lifestyle and travel can and do improve the situation, but for most men it still remains a source of unhappiness and disappointment.
Now, what is my point in saying all this?
It is simply this: while doing what they can to improve their odds and position in the sexual market, men should recognize that the situation is a difficult one and accept this. At the same time, men should understand that the entirety of life is not limited to the world of eros and relations with women. Don't let the fact that the world of women is so tough stain the way you feel about life in general. There are vast other parts of life that can be enjoyed and that are endless sources of interest and pleasure. Don't miss out on life as a whole just because a part of life -- even a major part -- is fraught with problems and difficulties.
When I look around me, I see a world that has never been more interesting and more amazing. The Internet is the most wondrous invention in the history of mankind; it allows us to access a million libraries of Alexandria in the palm of our hand. Life has never been more safer or more physically comfortable; there have never been greater opportunities for men to live a healthy lifestyle, to keep their bodies fit and their minds sharp. There are so many things to be interested in, to develop knowledge or even expertise about, to simply enjoy and be entertained by, that it's an embarrassment of riches at every moment. How terrible, even tragic, it would be to miss out on all this just because a part of life -- even a major and important part -- is relatively difficult, frustrating and often unrewarding.
I posted this video by Jack LaLanne in the 4th of July thread and I want to repost it here again, because he says something there that is so profound. He talks about a friend and student of his who had a financial problem, and because of this problem, he abandoned all of his hard-won good habits and let his body and mind go to seed. Then he realized how foolish that was and reacquired his good habits. In the end, he still had the problem -- but he didn't let the problem stain his entire life. As Jack says, if you have a problem that cannot be completely solved, accept that and be happy with the problem -- rather than have the problem and compound it by being miserable in every other way.
Again. Accepting the fact that there is a real problem with women does not mean that you do nothing about it: you always do the best you can in terms of game, lifestyle, travel etc. However, for many men the problem can be reduced but not completely solved. That should be accepted -- and men should not let the presence of this problem prevent them from enjoying this various, amazing, and ever-changing world in every other way, or distort their confidence in their lives and their sense of future and of possibility. Nor should they let this frustration lead them to be seduced by simplistic and reductive ideologies that offer them momentary relief and the promise of "meaning" but at the terrible price of closing off their minds to the true complexity, variety, and subtlety of life as it is. We have but one life to live and not everything in it will always go well -- but that is no reason not to live it to the fullest in every sense of the word.
Thank you for this, one of the best posts i've seen. Update, still on a dry spell pushing up to 3 weeks but its whatever.