Sharing my story as promised since a couple of you PM'd me about it. Long and I'll include lessons I learned at the very end, editted it a bit to shorten it as much as possible.
Born and raised in the US but parents were immigrants so did have some of that Indian upbringing. Nerdy kid in high school that didn't care about chasing girls as much and only started caring when I hit college. At one point around 18, life took a miserable turn for me (toxic family was wearing on me, felt trapped, one my closest friends growing up died and a bunch of other stuff) and I was just in a bad shape overall, actually thought about suicide many times and had weeks where I wished my life would end. Looking back at it, think the only reason I didn't actually kill myself is because I was afraid that I would fail at it and still be alive but in a real shitty state.
Did have a toxic mentality about race because the Indian/brown and Asian guys I had known pushed a good bit of it on to me, especially the whole white people look down on us narrative. Drifted from social circle to social circle in college and never fit in to any one crew which hurt me status wise. Did not get laid much starting out or even have fun like you're supposed to with college but did make some good friends.
At some point in my early 20s, decided I had enough, changes had to be made or I was going to die one miserable man. I feel like at some point we all get pushed to where we are forced to make a change or be miserable for life, a lackluster college experience was that wakeup call for me. Saw all these Indian guys deeper into their careers being pressured into an LTR by family, that was not going to be me and I made it very clear to my parents.
Changed social circles and started asking myself the tough questions about what I want to do with my life. Met one cool white guy who almost served as a mentor to me, helped me out so much in manning up and just becoming more alpha. Played a big role in my development as a person.
Decided that if I was not going to take my own life, might as well take more risks with it. Thanks to some networking in college and a couple of decent summer internships, managed to find a job in a big city and forego grad school. Did not sit well with my parents, we fought and haven't talked much since.
Lived in the fun part of the city I moved to with two roommates, both fratty white guys from the midwest and we got on well. One was a couple years older but well connected with the nightlife scene and the other was fresh out of college like me, both tall too. The whole area was full of 20-somethings fresh out of college, like it was designed for that specific demographic.
The story of that year would have to be a story on its own but it was the most transformative year of my life. Went out often, got laid a couple times, got into my first LTR with this sexy Lebanese/Italian mix from California I met through my roommate as she was in the same sorority back in college as his ex-girlfriend, fell in love for the first time in my life thinking I was going to marry her, had an epiphany so I broke up with her six months later after realizing how much life I was missing, realized I should have done it a lot sooner instead of waiting that long and then started going out again getting laid. Luckily my roommate was on my side there and encouraged me to break up with her if that is what made me happy.
Never experienced so many emotional highs and lows in my entire life as I did that one year or so, these two guys changed me in a big way. At one point, I actually smashed a girl I had a crush on in college but could never get with because she was in one of the top sororities on campus, she ended up in the same city as me. Being out with my roommate that day I saw her helped a lot in making that happen.
Going out with my roommates taught me a lot, especially that even the guys who we see as ideal and want to be like can get rejected in the most brutal ways but they just laugh it off. I compare this to hanging out with my Indian and Asian friends who would get rejected and cry racism right off the bat but my roommates just didn't care. Whatever my roommates were doing, it was affecting my inner game and outer game in a big way.
Learned how to put together a good Bumble profile and take good pics from one my roommates that was slaying on there, ended up getting matches and actually got with two women off the app during that year. Despite what they say, you can do well on dating apps as a minority. Life in general was great, work was fulfilling on weekdays and it is like every weekend I had something going on, happier than I had ever been in my life.
I was looking at life from a different perspective now kind of like being on the other side. While younger me could relate to race whiners the newer me just saw them as whiners and failed to relate as much.
Unfortunately my older roommate eventually got into an LTR and moved in with her, quitting the party scene altogether while the younger roommate changed cities so that opportunity was gone. The hit wasn't as big though because the people I met through them call me to hang out and every now and then I have an event to go to where meeting women comes somewhat naturally. Still doing decent on dating apps thanks to a few tips and tricks they taught me about taking pics and pushing to meet up with her. Even though we're not together anymore, there has been a lot of carryover and I am better because of them.
As for some of the lessons I learned after my long story.
1. Most newer guys, regardless of race can benefit immensely from a good social life as opposed to doing this whole thing alone. I think that having a good social life and some friends around your age makes this thing ten times easier because you occasionally meet women as a virtue of just being involved with the right people. Go hard on the dating apps and cold approach as usual but the benefits of a good social life are immense.
2. The people you surround yourself with determine your inner game and mindset whether you like it or not. I pity my younger self yet I was around a lot of beta minorities so I had toxic beliefs as a result of it. After spending a lot of time near some cool and fun white guys, the mindset is different. Outside of a few exceptions, I just don't see myself making that many Indian and Asian friends, as a whole I have found most guys from those backgrounds to be whiny complainers that don't help my inner game and life is too short to keep crying everyday about how white women don't want you.
3. Don't go monogamous if you're a guy that doesn't have enough notches under his belt. In my case I thought she was an exceptional girl but I spent 6 months seeing just her and letting notches pass right by me because of it. Just the thought of what I could have done in those 6 months if I had spent them going out with my roommates instead of in an LTR in my early 20s. I feel if I had slayed in high school and college then it would have been different for me but given the situation I was in, that LTR made life so complicated especially because I think if I had more experience I would have married her. Just talking about it still fucks with my head.....
4. White people are not this evil entity out to get you like so many minorities think. I've personally run into way more racism from minorities than white people. As much as people might criticize Trump's America, I've actually felt the most welcomed by conservative whites than any other group out there. At first they might evaluate to see where you are at but if you show the willingness to assimilate and learn from them, they are more than accepting. I have had a far better experience making friends with white people than brown and Asian people who often tend to be a lot more judgmental.
5. Race aside, it is low value people that generally complain about not being wanted for their race. I have met Indian guys that did well and they hardly complained about racism yet it was the beta skinnyfat Indian guys who over-rationalized the life out of the race thing.
6. Back to race, once you get good with white girls, whitewashed women from minority groups want you even more. This is especially true for the whitewashed Asian and brown women who swore they only go for white guys. I was actively approached by a few Asian, Middle Eastern and Indian girls when I was out with my roommates and it is like they saw me differently than they would men of their own race. Plenty of stories in regards to that if you guys are interested in hearing them.
7. Misery loves company and you can die from another man's misery. I am glad I changed my friend circle in college and stopped hanging out with failures who were loaded toxic and limiting beliefs about dating, life and women. On the other end, the benefits of just being around great successful people are immense.
8. Everyone, regardless of race, gets rejected and rejected hard in nightlife. My roommates were the personalization of American society, the overconfident tall young white guys and I even saw them get rejected. The game is easy for no man, its just that some men rather take action and improve than cry all day about things they can't change about themselves.
Born and raised in the US but parents were immigrants so did have some of that Indian upbringing. Nerdy kid in high school that didn't care about chasing girls as much and only started caring when I hit college. At one point around 18, life took a miserable turn for me (toxic family was wearing on me, felt trapped, one my closest friends growing up died and a bunch of other stuff) and I was just in a bad shape overall, actually thought about suicide many times and had weeks where I wished my life would end. Looking back at it, think the only reason I didn't actually kill myself is because I was afraid that I would fail at it and still be alive but in a real shitty state.
Did have a toxic mentality about race because the Indian/brown and Asian guys I had known pushed a good bit of it on to me, especially the whole white people look down on us narrative. Drifted from social circle to social circle in college and never fit in to any one crew which hurt me status wise. Did not get laid much starting out or even have fun like you're supposed to with college but did make some good friends.
At some point in my early 20s, decided I had enough, changes had to be made or I was going to die one miserable man. I feel like at some point we all get pushed to where we are forced to make a change or be miserable for life, a lackluster college experience was that wakeup call for me. Saw all these Indian guys deeper into their careers being pressured into an LTR by family, that was not going to be me and I made it very clear to my parents.
Changed social circles and started asking myself the tough questions about what I want to do with my life. Met one cool white guy who almost served as a mentor to me, helped me out so much in manning up and just becoming more alpha. Played a big role in my development as a person.
Decided that if I was not going to take my own life, might as well take more risks with it. Thanks to some networking in college and a couple of decent summer internships, managed to find a job in a big city and forego grad school. Did not sit well with my parents, we fought and haven't talked much since.
Lived in the fun part of the city I moved to with two roommates, both fratty white guys from the midwest and we got on well. One was a couple years older but well connected with the nightlife scene and the other was fresh out of college like me, both tall too. The whole area was full of 20-somethings fresh out of college, like it was designed for that specific demographic.
The story of that year would have to be a story on its own but it was the most transformative year of my life. Went out often, got laid a couple times, got into my first LTR with this sexy Lebanese/Italian mix from California I met through my roommate as she was in the same sorority back in college as his ex-girlfriend, fell in love for the first time in my life thinking I was going to marry her, had an epiphany so I broke up with her six months later after realizing how much life I was missing, realized I should have done it a lot sooner instead of waiting that long and then started going out again getting laid. Luckily my roommate was on my side there and encouraged me to break up with her if that is what made me happy.
Never experienced so many emotional highs and lows in my entire life as I did that one year or so, these two guys changed me in a big way. At one point, I actually smashed a girl I had a crush on in college but could never get with because she was in one of the top sororities on campus, she ended up in the same city as me. Being out with my roommate that day I saw her helped a lot in making that happen.
Going out with my roommates taught me a lot, especially that even the guys who we see as ideal and want to be like can get rejected in the most brutal ways but they just laugh it off. I compare this to hanging out with my Indian and Asian friends who would get rejected and cry racism right off the bat but my roommates just didn't care. Whatever my roommates were doing, it was affecting my inner game and outer game in a big way.
Learned how to put together a good Bumble profile and take good pics from one my roommates that was slaying on there, ended up getting matches and actually got with two women off the app during that year. Despite what they say, you can do well on dating apps as a minority. Life in general was great, work was fulfilling on weekdays and it is like every weekend I had something going on, happier than I had ever been in my life.
I was looking at life from a different perspective now kind of like being on the other side. While younger me could relate to race whiners the newer me just saw them as whiners and failed to relate as much.
Unfortunately my older roommate eventually got into an LTR and moved in with her, quitting the party scene altogether while the younger roommate changed cities so that opportunity was gone. The hit wasn't as big though because the people I met through them call me to hang out and every now and then I have an event to go to where meeting women comes somewhat naturally. Still doing decent on dating apps thanks to a few tips and tricks they taught me about taking pics and pushing to meet up with her. Even though we're not together anymore, there has been a lot of carryover and I am better because of them.
As for some of the lessons I learned after my long story.
1. Most newer guys, regardless of race can benefit immensely from a good social life as opposed to doing this whole thing alone. I think that having a good social life and some friends around your age makes this thing ten times easier because you occasionally meet women as a virtue of just being involved with the right people. Go hard on the dating apps and cold approach as usual but the benefits of a good social life are immense.
2. The people you surround yourself with determine your inner game and mindset whether you like it or not. I pity my younger self yet I was around a lot of beta minorities so I had toxic beliefs as a result of it. After spending a lot of time near some cool and fun white guys, the mindset is different. Outside of a few exceptions, I just don't see myself making that many Indian and Asian friends, as a whole I have found most guys from those backgrounds to be whiny complainers that don't help my inner game and life is too short to keep crying everyday about how white women don't want you.
3. Don't go monogamous if you're a guy that doesn't have enough notches under his belt. In my case I thought she was an exceptional girl but I spent 6 months seeing just her and letting notches pass right by me because of it. Just the thought of what I could have done in those 6 months if I had spent them going out with my roommates instead of in an LTR in my early 20s. I feel if I had slayed in high school and college then it would have been different for me but given the situation I was in, that LTR made life so complicated especially because I think if I had more experience I would have married her. Just talking about it still fucks with my head.....
4. White people are not this evil entity out to get you like so many minorities think. I've personally run into way more racism from minorities than white people. As much as people might criticize Trump's America, I've actually felt the most welcomed by conservative whites than any other group out there. At first they might evaluate to see where you are at but if you show the willingness to assimilate and learn from them, they are more than accepting. I have had a far better experience making friends with white people than brown and Asian people who often tend to be a lot more judgmental.
5. Race aside, it is low value people that generally complain about not being wanted for their race. I have met Indian guys that did well and they hardly complained about racism yet it was the beta skinnyfat Indian guys who over-rationalized the life out of the race thing.
6. Back to race, once you get good with white girls, whitewashed women from minority groups want you even more. This is especially true for the whitewashed Asian and brown women who swore they only go for white guys. I was actively approached by a few Asian, Middle Eastern and Indian girls when I was out with my roommates and it is like they saw me differently than they would men of their own race. Plenty of stories in regards to that if you guys are interested in hearing them.
7. Misery loves company and you can die from another man's misery. I am glad I changed my friend circle in college and stopped hanging out with failures who were loaded toxic and limiting beliefs about dating, life and women. On the other end, the benefits of just being around great successful people are immense.
8. Everyone, regardless of race, gets rejected and rejected hard in nightlife. My roommates were the personalization of American society, the overconfident tall young white guys and I even saw them get rejected. The game is easy for no man, its just that some men rather take action and improve than cry all day about things they can't change about themselves.