We don't really seem to have a thread out here for Indian guys that hasn't degenerated into inane race trolling, so I thought I'd start one and share some value on what's worked for me and where I've been successful.
Stats: 6'0, 170 lbs (athletic build), average bankroll (five years out of school), decent looks, bad style if I'm being honest. Lived in Northern California and Southern California.
Breakdown of how Indians do by place (from my observations):
NorCal: Shitty dating market in general, but chances are if you're Indian and you live up here, you're making decent money. If you're out in the burbs, you're better off than you think. There are tons of Indian 6's and 7's who troll Tinder looking for guys like us. Online dating is actually not terrible out here if you don't live in San Francisco -- attractive dudes are not common in the burbs and plenty of girls are open to Indian guys having grown up around them (tons of Indians out here). Hard place to bang tons of girls and live a debaucherous lifestyle. There isn't much of a stigma against Indians here at all though.
SoCal: Slightly better, though the frat and surfer dominated vibe means that a lot of Indians will have a slightly harder time breaking into the strongest social circles. Black girls and Latinas out here love us however. I personally didn't do too great out here since I'm a more intellectual/spiritual dude and SoCal does not match that vibe in the least bit. Not a huge stigma against Indians here either, tons of brown people in this city are doing well financially and are banging the hottest girls. Brown Mexicans and Arabs/Persians do great here.
Middle East (spent a good amount of time here): Surprisingly good for Indian guys, lots of curiosity about our culture. I'd recommend Lebanon and Morocco, avoid Israel as it is racist as fuck.
Indian subcontinent (lived here for a year): Again surprisingly good and getting better -- India is rapidly modernizing and there are a lot more westernized girls looking to hook up. As an ABCD dude you'll stand out in a good way. Lots of aid workers, tourists, volunteers etc who are looking for Indian guys as well.
Spain -- The local Spanish women can be kind of difficult, but plenty of European tourist women come through who are more than down for an attractive brown guy. You'll generally be treated well and will probably be mistaken for a local in a lot of places.
DR -- Same story, if your Spanish is good you'll do well here.
Tips for overcoming insecurities:
A lot of minorities in the states will grow up with some form of insecurity, it's natural growing up in such a racialized culture.
Insecurity #1: Thought my Indian genetics/diet made me scrawny as fuck and naturally weak. This is best combated through aggressive exercise. Play some hard-as-fuck sport like rowing, wrestling, or MMA -- stick it out for a year, survive the ass kickings and come out a changed man. I also recommend getting strength coaching/form coaching on lifting. A lot of Indian guys have spindly ectomorph builds which can make the Big 3 lifts a little more challenging. This is good advice for guys of any race, but try and find a trainer who will teach you how to stretch, how to strengthen your core/glutes, and how to learn perfect mechanics for the heavy powerlifts.
Without doing those, you won't gain muscle for shit. Similarly, without training martial arts, you'll always have that insecurity about a bigger/stronger guy being able to whoop your ass. It is essential for Indian guys to do this, most Indians do not do it and it only feeds this insecurity when all the Indians around are also scrawny as fuck.
Insecurity # 2: That my race made me naturally unattractive to women. This is a big one that spawns a lot of IRT's and creates a lot of self hate. Dealing with this was a two part process.
First I had to understand how race and game work together. In college, for example, the frat guys would clean up with the hottest girls. The top frats were mostly rich white dudes whose fathers were in the frat as well. They were unlikely to admit minorities at all unless they knew them very well. This means that few minorities were getting at the hottest sorority girls. This wasn't because the sorority girls saw us as subhuman untermenschen, more just that your access is limited due to cultural factors. It's not like the white frat dudes hate us either, they were just more comfortable around people who looked like them.
I also had to accept that my cultural upbringing can make it hard for me to relate to some types of women. I got along great with African, Indian, and Asian FOB women -- most were first or second gen immigrants like myself and shared similar experiences growing up. I didn't get along well with super wealth-obsessed Persians or suburban white girls, and didn't have much sexual chemistry with Latinas for whatever reason. I wasn't getting shafted by Persians, white girls, or Latinas because I'm Indian, it was because I simply couldn't relate to them on any level and had absolutely nothing in common with them.
Insecurity #3: That India was a complete shit hole and that my origins were inferior. This came about as a result of a lot of childhood trips to India back in the 80's/90's. Back then, the cities my family lived in were literal shit pits full of beggars, garbage, and stray animals. This fucked with my head -- I didn't want to believe that I came from a place this disgusting. It validated people's racist jokes and the bull shit that I would read online.
I fixed this by travelling to off-the-beaten track locations in India. I went to temples deep in Tamil Nadu and marvelled at the architecture. I travelled up and down the Himalayas, saw India's amazing natural beauty. I read deep into the history of my ancestral culture and learned how to draw pride from what my ancestors accomplished.
Anyone else please drop tips/wisdom. Hope this helps some guys, thought I'd start off my time in the forum with some value.
Stats: 6'0, 170 lbs (athletic build), average bankroll (five years out of school), decent looks, bad style if I'm being honest. Lived in Northern California and Southern California.
Breakdown of how Indians do by place (from my observations):
NorCal: Shitty dating market in general, but chances are if you're Indian and you live up here, you're making decent money. If you're out in the burbs, you're better off than you think. There are tons of Indian 6's and 7's who troll Tinder looking for guys like us. Online dating is actually not terrible out here if you don't live in San Francisco -- attractive dudes are not common in the burbs and plenty of girls are open to Indian guys having grown up around them (tons of Indians out here). Hard place to bang tons of girls and live a debaucherous lifestyle. There isn't much of a stigma against Indians here at all though.
SoCal: Slightly better, though the frat and surfer dominated vibe means that a lot of Indians will have a slightly harder time breaking into the strongest social circles. Black girls and Latinas out here love us however. I personally didn't do too great out here since I'm a more intellectual/spiritual dude and SoCal does not match that vibe in the least bit. Not a huge stigma against Indians here either, tons of brown people in this city are doing well financially and are banging the hottest girls. Brown Mexicans and Arabs/Persians do great here.
Middle East (spent a good amount of time here): Surprisingly good for Indian guys, lots of curiosity about our culture. I'd recommend Lebanon and Morocco, avoid Israel as it is racist as fuck.
Indian subcontinent (lived here for a year): Again surprisingly good and getting better -- India is rapidly modernizing and there are a lot more westernized girls looking to hook up. As an ABCD dude you'll stand out in a good way. Lots of aid workers, tourists, volunteers etc who are looking for Indian guys as well.
Spain -- The local Spanish women can be kind of difficult, but plenty of European tourist women come through who are more than down for an attractive brown guy. You'll generally be treated well and will probably be mistaken for a local in a lot of places.
DR -- Same story, if your Spanish is good you'll do well here.
Tips for overcoming insecurities:
A lot of minorities in the states will grow up with some form of insecurity, it's natural growing up in such a racialized culture.
Insecurity #1: Thought my Indian genetics/diet made me scrawny as fuck and naturally weak. This is best combated through aggressive exercise. Play some hard-as-fuck sport like rowing, wrestling, or MMA -- stick it out for a year, survive the ass kickings and come out a changed man. I also recommend getting strength coaching/form coaching on lifting. A lot of Indian guys have spindly ectomorph builds which can make the Big 3 lifts a little more challenging. This is good advice for guys of any race, but try and find a trainer who will teach you how to stretch, how to strengthen your core/glutes, and how to learn perfect mechanics for the heavy powerlifts.
Without doing those, you won't gain muscle for shit. Similarly, without training martial arts, you'll always have that insecurity about a bigger/stronger guy being able to whoop your ass. It is essential for Indian guys to do this, most Indians do not do it and it only feeds this insecurity when all the Indians around are also scrawny as fuck.
Insecurity # 2: That my race made me naturally unattractive to women. This is a big one that spawns a lot of IRT's and creates a lot of self hate. Dealing with this was a two part process.
First I had to understand how race and game work together. In college, for example, the frat guys would clean up with the hottest girls. The top frats were mostly rich white dudes whose fathers were in the frat as well. They were unlikely to admit minorities at all unless they knew them very well. This means that few minorities were getting at the hottest sorority girls. This wasn't because the sorority girls saw us as subhuman untermenschen, more just that your access is limited due to cultural factors. It's not like the white frat dudes hate us either, they were just more comfortable around people who looked like them.
I also had to accept that my cultural upbringing can make it hard for me to relate to some types of women. I got along great with African, Indian, and Asian FOB women -- most were first or second gen immigrants like myself and shared similar experiences growing up. I didn't get along well with super wealth-obsessed Persians or suburban white girls, and didn't have much sexual chemistry with Latinas for whatever reason. I wasn't getting shafted by Persians, white girls, or Latinas because I'm Indian, it was because I simply couldn't relate to them on any level and had absolutely nothing in common with them.
Insecurity #3: That India was a complete shit hole and that my origins were inferior. This came about as a result of a lot of childhood trips to India back in the 80's/90's. Back then, the cities my family lived in were literal shit pits full of beggars, garbage, and stray animals. This fucked with my head -- I didn't want to believe that I came from a place this disgusting. It validated people's racist jokes and the bull shit that I would read online.
I fixed this by travelling to off-the-beaten track locations in India. I went to temples deep in Tamil Nadu and marvelled at the architecture. I travelled up and down the Himalayas, saw India's amazing natural beauty. I read deep into the history of my ancestral culture and learned how to draw pride from what my ancestors accomplished.
Anyone else please drop tips/wisdom. Hope this helps some guys, thought I'd start off my time in the forum with some value.