[Rorogue]

Something I wrote tonight
I would love some feedback:

(Untitled)

Too enmeshed with the feminine
Seeking to dominate women in my mind,
As opposed to living my masculine truth in the real world

Other men see through my facade, my weakness, my lack of manliness, and distrust me

I guess I pretended I didn't want their approval, turning my back;
A rebellion against my father, whose love I never could get, no matter how I tried

I gave up on my fellow men, spited them, hated them behind the windows of my eyes

But I hitched my wagon on women entirely, and they can only bring me so much fulfillment, meaning

The more I sought to dominate women, punish them for my lack of masculinity,
The more I cowered in the face of men

I refused to stand up to bastards,
Challenge myself against noble men, and prove wrong men who thought me a fool

So the rage built up,
And the only outlet
I dared to unleash this ferocity upon,
Was women

Sometimes to their disgust, and even terror
Many times to their deranged pleasure.
Hence, I returned to their playgrounds for so long;
A fascinated boy, learning how to teach a puppy
To roll over and beg

Well, I can no longer hide within
The pinkness of a pussy

I can no longer cup
The supple breast of a village girl,
And think I am ripping the heart out of my enemies

I must see the darkness
Of the world of men,
The wonderful barbarism
That men partake in

I must wade into it,
Knowing I may get swept aside
By trained warriors and hunters,
Who see me as I am-
A 29 year old runt

And I must pray to God that,
As I wade into the cave of masculine secrets,
I make it out alive

That the man I'd always hoped to find
But had searched for in the wrong cave
Is waiting for me