You might try telling girls that you like about your feelings. Tell them you are nervous or whatever, without explaining yourself or your history, just be up front with what's going on in you. Maybe say that you've been up to your neck in work with no social life for a long time, but no more than that.
You aren't trying to justify your feelings and never put yourself down for having them, I'm just saying try putting them on the table and moving on with the conversation.
This is not a game strategy, although I can tell you that it's not an instant dealbreaker either with a lot of friendlier/non-bitchy girls. It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump. And a funny thing often happens when you are a bit vulnerable and tell people about your discomfort: it usually turns into excited energy and rapport. There's a good chance she'll launch into a saga about her feelz. Be attentive for a little while, but don't let her drone on for ten minutes. Be prepared to interrupt her at some suitable point, rock the safe little conversation boat and say something like "Jane, thank you for sharing that with me, now let's leave the therapy session behind us and hit the dancefloor / change venue / convo topic".
You aren't trying to justify your feelings and never put yourself down for having them, I'm just saying try putting them on the table and moving on with the conversation.
This is not a game strategy, although I can tell you that it's not an instant dealbreaker either with a lot of friendlier/non-bitchy girls. It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump. And a funny thing often happens when you are a bit vulnerable and tell people about your discomfort: it usually turns into excited energy and rapport. There's a good chance she'll launch into a saga about her feelz. Be attentive for a little while, but don't let her drone on for ten minutes. Be prepared to interrupt her at some suitable point, rock the safe little conversation boat and say something like "Jane, thank you for sharing that with me, now let's leave the therapy session behind us and hit the dancefloor / change venue / convo topic".