I wasn’t sure weather to post this thread in the Lifestyle Section or Family so mods feel free to move it.
The Situation: A good friend of mine yesterday called me up while having a minor mental breakdown. The night before he got a call from the State of Oklahoma telling him that he is next in line to be the Legal Guardian to his newborn infant sister and if he doesn't take her in she is going into the foster care system. His mother was doing meth throughout the pregnancy and the baby tested positive for meth. Apparently the baby is showing no advice signs of having the drugs in her system during the pregnancy so far. The state deemed his mother and the baby's father incapable of taking care of a child and took her away. He’s waiting for a call from social services sometime this week for more information.
A little background: He’s 20 years old, he turns 21 next month. He had a pretty rough life growing up from what he told, his mother is a terrible human and to my knowledge they have no contact. He was in and out of the foster care system for a good portion of a life, I’ve known him since about 14, he had/has anger issues probably do to his traumatic upbringing. He recently got out of pretty toxic relationship with a red flag woman and has been trying to stay positive in his life.
He has two younger brothers (18) who just aged out of the foster care system and are enjoying a free ride in college due to their Indian (with a feather) heritage and an older sister(?) I am not entirely sure of all the details.
He has a welders certification, last summer he was welding and making pretty good money. Because of that he started letting himself live a somewhat expensive lifestyle, due to his anger issues he was fired from that job and was unemployed for 2 month. He recently started working again and recently started a new job and is now just recovering from being almost completely broke. His monthly expenses are food, rent, car, and student loans.
If he took her in he could expect some money from the state to help take care of her but besides that he has no-one to help him.
When he called me up I tried calming him down and told him to focus on trying to clear his mind. I’m going to meet up with him soon.
There are a bunch of questions he needs to ask himself.
Who is going to watch her while he is a work?
Can he afford to take care of another human when guys our age can barely take care of ourselves?
Is he willing to completely change his life for the next 18 years to raise a child?
As rough as it sounds I think having her go into the foster care system would be the best option.
At Least that way she might have a chance of being adopted by a family from a young age and have a chance at a normal life.
I am the oldest of my siblings and probably the most equipped to raise a child out of my friend group and I doubt I could take care of a newborn by myself. The poor guy can’t even breastfeed her for Christ's sake. Having grown up in the foster care system he does not want her to feel abandoned by her family like he did growing up and cites that as his main reason for wanting to take her in.
Also too as discussed many times on this forum is how having both parents in a child's life is essential to healthy growth and development.
There are a lot of variables and more information needed for this question and I will try to update it as I can. I would appreciate any advice from the older guys on here to give to my buddy.
The Situation: A good friend of mine yesterday called me up while having a minor mental breakdown. The night before he got a call from the State of Oklahoma telling him that he is next in line to be the Legal Guardian to his newborn infant sister and if he doesn't take her in she is going into the foster care system. His mother was doing meth throughout the pregnancy and the baby tested positive for meth. Apparently the baby is showing no advice signs of having the drugs in her system during the pregnancy so far. The state deemed his mother and the baby's father incapable of taking care of a child and took her away. He’s waiting for a call from social services sometime this week for more information.
A little background: He’s 20 years old, he turns 21 next month. He had a pretty rough life growing up from what he told, his mother is a terrible human and to my knowledge they have no contact. He was in and out of the foster care system for a good portion of a life, I’ve known him since about 14, he had/has anger issues probably do to his traumatic upbringing. He recently got out of pretty toxic relationship with a red flag woman and has been trying to stay positive in his life.
He has two younger brothers (18) who just aged out of the foster care system and are enjoying a free ride in college due to their Indian (with a feather) heritage and an older sister(?) I am not entirely sure of all the details.
He has a welders certification, last summer he was welding and making pretty good money. Because of that he started letting himself live a somewhat expensive lifestyle, due to his anger issues he was fired from that job and was unemployed for 2 month. He recently started working again and recently started a new job and is now just recovering from being almost completely broke. His monthly expenses are food, rent, car, and student loans.
If he took her in he could expect some money from the state to help take care of her but besides that he has no-one to help him.
When he called me up I tried calming him down and told him to focus on trying to clear his mind. I’m going to meet up with him soon.
There are a bunch of questions he needs to ask himself.
Who is going to watch her while he is a work?
Can he afford to take care of another human when guys our age can barely take care of ourselves?
Is he willing to completely change his life for the next 18 years to raise a child?
As rough as it sounds I think having her go into the foster care system would be the best option.
At Least that way she might have a chance of being adopted by a family from a young age and have a chance at a normal life.
I am the oldest of my siblings and probably the most equipped to raise a child out of my friend group and I doubt I could take care of a newborn by myself. The poor guy can’t even breastfeed her for Christ's sake. Having grown up in the foster care system he does not want her to feel abandoned by her family like he did growing up and cites that as his main reason for wanting to take her in.
Also too as discussed many times on this forum is how having both parents in a child's life is essential to healthy growth and development.
There are a lot of variables and more information needed for this question and I will try to update it as I can. I would appreciate any advice from the older guys on here to give to my buddy.