[Vill@in]

scorpion had a great post along these lines a few years ago:

(07-03-2014 02:47 PM)scorpion Wrote:  

I get where you're coming from. You basically look at yourself as a skilled craftsman when it comes to sex. You want the work to reflect well on you and you take pride in doing a good job.

The trouble with this attitude is when taken too far it basically reduces the man to a walking dildo/vibrator. It's just another way of putting women on a pedestal, in this case by measuring the success of your sexual encounter by the amount of pleasure you give her. That is not alpha. It's beta supplication behavior. It's essentially coming from a scarcity and fear mentality: the idea that if you don't fuck her like a porn star every time, she's going to wander off and find a guy who does.

The actual alpha way to approach sex is to simply maximize your personal pleasure and not even care about hers at all. Of course, this requires actually maintaining an alpha frame 24/7 and not just jackhammering a girl in bed and assuming that gives you "alpha" status. So it's the difference of living as an alpha versus trying to be alpha in the bedroom with porn star behavior.

To be honest I can't really fault guys for falling into this trap. I used to think that way myself for a long time, and the reality is that pleasuring a woman well is pretty much never going to hurt you. The danger is just in overemphasizing that and losing sight of the necessity of maintaining your alpha behavior outside the bedroom, which is ultimately far more important than bedroom skills.

So basically, if porn star sex is your hobby, then by all means continue. But defining that as alpha behavior is off the mark.

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