Quote: (10-29-2017 09:46 PM)Samseau Wrote:
Quote: (10-29-2017 09:20 PM)Laska Wrote:
I read in Aristotle's Ethics that you don't get real and lasting satisfaction from pursuing pleasure for its own sake. This lined up with with my experience, and seems to apply to sex outside of marriage. So, after thinking about it for a long time, I made this conclusion and have stuck with it. Of course, since I want sex, I'm VERY open to being persuaded.
My take on Christ and Paul's teachings applied to today's world is not to have sex with a woman you don't think you could have a relationship with. The goal is still a good marriage. And I still avoid whores (this obviously includes porn).
But the idea of total abstinence until marriage doesn't seem to work in my experience. Women won't even consider a man for marriage unless she gets a good fucking from him. Marriage is entirely a passionate affair for 99% of women.
The only woman I would consider waiting for is a virgin, and even then a virgin is nothing special today: she could easily become just another slut or whore on the market. If you do find a good virgin, of course, court her and keep her. Keep pushing sexual tension all the way until marriage day or even bang her before marriage to keep her in love.
But simply banging women just for sex's sake is still sinful and destructive. Fuck a slut and you'll have a good time but it's still a waste of time that could have been spent on actually trying to find a good woman.
That said, while my notch count is far higher than the average man according to most surveys I have not lost my ability to bond with women. I just recently had a virgin in my bed who would not put out beyond some kissing and cuddling, but I very much enjoyed it nonetheless. If I was a sex addict I would have kicked her out for not putting out.
In general, men are stronger than women. This includes our ability to have larger partner counts with no negative repercussions. There has not been, to my knowledge, any study showing moderately high notch counts (between 20-50) for men leading to higher divorce rates.
Now, most of the girls I bang do not work out, but at least I pursued her with good intentions. I do not pursue women merely for sex (unless she is SMOKING... then I will throw caution to the wind) but to try and create a relationship with her. And there's no relationship with any modern woman today unless you're having sex with her, which means pursuing her only like a man can. With aggression, persistence, and determination. But also with cunning game and measured displays of affection for her.
I know Christ tells us that God judges us primarily based upon our intentions, so this is my best way as a man who burns to navigate the world without total indulgence in sinful sluts or faith-destroying blind hope in purity prevailing over all.
Hell, I used to pray to God to help me out to get sex, and boy oh boy did I get plenty of it.
The only reason to truly abstain is if you want to become a monk, which will give you tremendous rewards in heaven but is not something 99% of men can handle. I was a virgin until 24 and it was not easy for me at all. If you can avoid women and be happy as a virgin, then don't listen to anyone else you've got an amazing gift.
Your wisdom is always appreciated Samseau. You've given me a lot to think about. Yes, in my rare case, being a virgin while being happy is easily possible, but with practice, I could game as well.
It's a matter of whether its right to sleep with girls outside of marriage, or if the closest thing are reason's why it's not wrong. I'm going to try to separate this question from marriage as much as possible, reexamine the issue, and just think about fornication itself, with the goal being to end up doing the right thing.