Once I learned about the notion of frame I've been analyzing my frame strength in all my interactions with others. This may sound like a kind of paranoia however it seems to me the reason my interactions with others don't usually leave me with a good feeling is that I have a weak frame and so should have a purpose for each conversation. In other words being more Machiavellian. The purpose should be demonstrating value without seeking approval and preventing the other person from dragging you into their frame. This is because people very often enjoy implying that they have higher value than you. In the words of Heartiste: "Power abhors a vacuum, and so does an undirected woman free to interpret anything you say in any way she sees fit." For me this applies to anybody who is not a close friend of mine.
Here is a simple example. I'm at work microwaving my lunch. The front desk girl comes in and says:
So how are you today?
(with a voice that shows a degree of being annoyed) Alright.
I guess that's better than being dead!
See how fast she tried to bring me down? And this is not an isolated example.
Now here's what I'd say next time:
So how are you today?
You're such a nice colleague; you're concerned about my wellbeing!
The difference between the two is that in the first one I had no purpose in the convo; I let her to frame me but in the second (hypothetical) one I frame her. Now my question is are you guys Machiavellian in your convos with others? Do you have an overarching purpose in your convos and interactions?
Here is a simple example. I'm at work microwaving my lunch. The front desk girl comes in and says:
So how are you today?
(with a voice that shows a degree of being annoyed) Alright.
I guess that's better than being dead!
See how fast she tried to bring me down? And this is not an isolated example.
Now here's what I'd say next time:
So how are you today?
You're such a nice colleague; you're concerned about my wellbeing!
The difference between the two is that in the first one I had no purpose in the convo; I let her to frame me but in the second (hypothetical) one I frame her. Now my question is are you guys Machiavellian in your convos with others? Do you have an overarching purpose in your convos and interactions?
A whore ain't nothing but a trick to a pimp. (Iceberg Slim)
Beauty is in the erection of the beholder. (duedue)
Grab your life by the pussy.
A better question to ask is "What EXACTLY do I want out of life and what EXACTLY am I doing to get EXACTLY that? If you can answer that question truthfully you will be the most Alpha motherfucker you will ever need to be. (PapayaTapper)