I've read on RVF that you shouldn't kiss the girl until you're in a place where you could escalate all the way to sex (e.g. hotel, bedroom).
But I've found that by trying to follow this rule, I spend too much time in my head analyzing whether it's a good time to kiss, rather than just going with instinct and kissing her. Especially since I've been trying follow the model of non-bar/club approach-to-instant date, rather than scheduling a drinks date later when the time is right -- it's not always 100% guaranteed that I can take her home. This could mean that I need to make a good first impression by kissing her if there's a doubt that we can go home together. I feel like I've lost a few opportunities by not doing that.
So I wonder if the "no kissing until in a sex location" rule is more for pre-scheduled drink dates and maybe bar/club pickups. I've also read elsewhere on RVF that it's good for newbies to disregard the more advanced "game techniques" and just focus on the basics and keeping a frame of dominating and seducing the girl.
My recent experience suggests this too. I got my first lay from cold approaching a few weeks ago, while breaking this rule. I met a Japanese tourist on a Friday night, took her from the approach venue to a more isolated second venue, and kissed her about 5 minutes after we arrived. It was a light kiss, not a full-on makeout, to avoid setting off the fireworks too early.
I'm not sure if not kissing would have made a difference in this case. I was already escalating before the kiss -- holding her hand to cross a busy street, putting my arm around her, and playing with her hair. And she was a tourist with nothing else to do on a late Friday night. But it clearly didn't hurt and might have made her more attracted that I was bold enough to kiss her so soon after meeting her.
In response the kiss, she gave me a little trouble for why I approached her in public (shit test?) but I played it down and the tone of our interaction was positive. Two hours after my approach, we were in my apartment. She gave me no last-minute resistance and I got my Japanese flag that night!
But I've found that by trying to follow this rule, I spend too much time in my head analyzing whether it's a good time to kiss, rather than just going with instinct and kissing her. Especially since I've been trying follow the model of non-bar/club approach-to-instant date, rather than scheduling a drinks date later when the time is right -- it's not always 100% guaranteed that I can take her home. This could mean that I need to make a good first impression by kissing her if there's a doubt that we can go home together. I feel like I've lost a few opportunities by not doing that.
So I wonder if the "no kissing until in a sex location" rule is more for pre-scheduled drink dates and maybe bar/club pickups. I've also read elsewhere on RVF that it's good for newbies to disregard the more advanced "game techniques" and just focus on the basics and keeping a frame of dominating and seducing the girl.
My recent experience suggests this too. I got my first lay from cold approaching a few weeks ago, while breaking this rule. I met a Japanese tourist on a Friday night, took her from the approach venue to a more isolated second venue, and kissed her about 5 minutes after we arrived. It was a light kiss, not a full-on makeout, to avoid setting off the fireworks too early.
I'm not sure if not kissing would have made a difference in this case. I was already escalating before the kiss -- holding her hand to cross a busy street, putting my arm around her, and playing with her hair. And she was a tourist with nothing else to do on a late Friday night. But it clearly didn't hurt and might have made her more attracted that I was bold enough to kiss her so soon after meeting her.
In response the kiss, she gave me a little trouble for why I approached her in public (shit test?) but I played it down and the tone of our interaction was positive. Two hours after my approach, we were in my apartment. She gave me no last-minute resistance and I got my Japanese flag that night!