Quote: (06-17-2017 04:58 PM)scotian Wrote:
I'm probably owed about $1500 to various "friends" I lent money to over the years. Of course I'll never get the cash back but then again I'll never hear from those shit head parasites again so I consider it money well spent.
This nails it. Ideally, you first want to get yourself into a financial position that you really don't even care about the money, and don't lend out money you care about getting back. I have certain good friends who a few hundred dollars one way or the other is a rounding error. Both parties keep loose informal tallies and step up when they know it's their turn, and everyone considers the friendship way more important than the money.
Lending token amounts of cash out in my experience is a good thing, because it allows you to get an honest perspective on someone's values. Do they go out of their way to get it back to you, or avoid you and the subject of the debt unless you press them? (speaking of which Scotian - I still owe you for a few drinks from two years ago - I haven't forgotten).
Basically this guy considers an ill-gotten concert ticket more valuable than your friendship, so good riddance. Sooner or later you need to trust people, and you do it a thousand times a day. I trust work will pay me in 2 weeks, and I trust coming up on a blind crest people are going to continue to drive on the correct side of the road.
Ideally you're left after a while with a large group of trustworthy people, for whom everyone being a part of it is better off. How do you get to that point? By taking small, then progressively larger risks, and getting rid of the losers. I found myself in a pretty desperate situation about a year ago in Europe with no cash and no cards, and I had no less than half a dozen people offer cash/wires/money whatever I needed so I didn't starve. In addition to paying back debts because it's the right thing to do, it's those rare situations like that when you want to have a network of people who trust you and have your back.