I've been getting heavily into direct game over the past month and it's clear that it suits my personality much more than skulking around the girl indirectly, both in terms of how I feel about myself but also in terms of getting numbers infield. Up until yesterday, I was averaging around 25% of girls responding positively, but ultimately admitting they've got a boyfriend or - as happened today - admitting they are single but that they think I'm too old for me (I don't look old in my face but I do have quite a few grey hairs for my age, it's true). However, today I seemed to step up a gear and had the experience of getting at least half the girls I opened react positively and stick around to hear my story, including two 8s, one of whom I managed to get her contact details. Furthermore, today was my best day in terms of approaches on a workday, given that I managed to open 20 sets. Maybe the weather played a role - it was sunny and warm all day here in Leipzig for the first time in quite a while - but I also noticed as I was approaching that I was much more sure about the way I was going about it, whether it was from getting right in front of the girl and doing a policeman's stop with my hand, to my tone of voice, to holding solid eye contact, as well as my general not giving much of a fuck attitude as to how the interactions might pan out. I was really vibing with quite a few of these women and it was clear from their body language that they were enjoying the interaction, judging from how some of the sets were constantly playing with their hair and coming in very close as the interaction progressed. However, the same problem kept occurring, almost every girl I opened admitted to either having a husband (usually these are the women who are late 20s or early 30s) or they tell me they have a boyfriend.
Anyway, aside from the question of how one should respond to this general problem, which surely affects nearly every guy on here whenever he's running daygame, I had a rather interesting experience along the way which I was very interested in getting an opinion on from RVFers:
After getting a visual IOI on the street from a cute, tall, curvy and nerdy-looking German girl, mid-20s, I run up to her without hesitation and instantly stop her from the front. Although somewhat shocked, she still breaks out into a big smile and she hooks pretty much immediately, asking me about what I'm doing here, et.c. After about 5 minutes of chatting, I go for the number close and she drops the boyfriend bomb. I look her up and down and say to her, "No, please don't tell me this is true" and she starts to get a bit flushed in the face and embarassed as I tell her that I still want to go out on a date with her. It's clear from her tone of voice and body language that she's at least tempted by my offer, since she doesn't sound very convinced when I ask her again. At this point, I take her hand and say to her, OK, no worries, I'll be on my way then, but something weird happens at this point: I just keep holding her hand saying and I eye her up and down and stare into her eyes, "My God, I really don't care you've got a boyfriend, I just want you". She blushes even more and makes some various mock protestations, but I can tell that she's getting hot under the collar as well, sexually-speaking. When I pressed her about how serious the relationship with her BF was, she mentioned that she'd been with him for 6 years, but I know from experience that women who've been in relationships this long are often looking to monkey branch at this juncture. In any case, I've learned to discard what women say during the interaction and focus solely on the body language and judging from the latter it was clear that there was physical attraction and that it was quite strong. It wasn't just clear from this, the sexual vibe was palpable and it was extremely frustrating not being able to act on it.
Incidentally, a very similar thing also happened in one of my other sets today, with the girl telling me that she would have dated me had she not had a BF (she was also showing quite strong IOIs through her body language), so I was inclined to treat her utterance as perhaps not just a polite brush-off. But here's the deal: the thing that was common to both of these sets was that when I persisted after they'd dropped the BF bomb, I could feel a spike in the sexual temperature of the interaction go up significantly. With this second girl, when she dropped the BF bomb on me, I simply told her flat out, "I don't care, I still want to meet up with you" looking her very seductively in the eye and then giving her an up and down glance, in which I really take in her assets. I could tell from how hesitant she was in answering me with another no and from the fact that she didn't seem in any hurry to either move away from me (she had already come in quite close as the interaction progressed) that she was - like the nerdy girl - at least tempted and intrigued.
I hadn't intended to inject any sexual tension strategically into these interactions by responding in the way I did, it simply happened spontaneously as a result of how I was feeling at the time. But on the way home, feeling on the one hand quite pleased with myself but, on the other hand, very frustrated - not least sexually - that I hadn't been able to progress these sets to their natural conclusion, I started to become vexed over how to proceed in the future. Given that it was precisely in those moments when I really made it clear that I wanted these girls sexually, the response from the girls was clearly the most sexually positive - even though they felt they had to say no for the sake of having a BF - I was wondering whether I can use this tactic in the future, but in a more consistent and forthright manner to finally get the lay from my direct approaches. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to cracking the code in my interactions, in terms of how many women are responding positively to me, but I keep stopping short of the goal by having to march my troops back down the hill again when the BF bomb gets dropped on me. As I sat on the tram tonight going home, I found myself thinking, "Fuck it, next time I'm just going to tell them I want to bang them there and then and see how they respond." Yes, this is pretty crass, I know, but whenever I've really pushed the boundaries to the point where I thought the woman would take offence, I've actually found she's responded even more positively, as paradoxical as that might sound to some on here.
What do you guys think on here about this idea? When I feel that a girl is sexually attracted enough, although her words coming out of her mouth are formally, "I can't, I've got a BF", should I just go for broke and offer to lay her there and then? I really need to end a multi-year dry spell (3 years and 1 month now) and so I really don't care very much what I need to do here, and I can sense that there's definitely a subset of girls that I'm attracted to who are tempted, but for whom I might just need to adopt an even more persistent approach. Or is my thinking way off base here? I'd really appreciate the input of some more experienced guys on here, since all I've got at the moment is the fishbowl of my own head to bounce these thoughts around in, which really isn't helping much.
Anyway, aside from the question of how one should respond to this general problem, which surely affects nearly every guy on here whenever he's running daygame, I had a rather interesting experience along the way which I was very interested in getting an opinion on from RVFers:
After getting a visual IOI on the street from a cute, tall, curvy and nerdy-looking German girl, mid-20s, I run up to her without hesitation and instantly stop her from the front. Although somewhat shocked, she still breaks out into a big smile and she hooks pretty much immediately, asking me about what I'm doing here, et.c. After about 5 minutes of chatting, I go for the number close and she drops the boyfriend bomb. I look her up and down and say to her, "No, please don't tell me this is true" and she starts to get a bit flushed in the face and embarassed as I tell her that I still want to go out on a date with her. It's clear from her tone of voice and body language that she's at least tempted by my offer, since she doesn't sound very convinced when I ask her again. At this point, I take her hand and say to her, OK, no worries, I'll be on my way then, but something weird happens at this point: I just keep holding her hand saying and I eye her up and down and stare into her eyes, "My God, I really don't care you've got a boyfriend, I just want you". She blushes even more and makes some various mock protestations, but I can tell that she's getting hot under the collar as well, sexually-speaking. When I pressed her about how serious the relationship with her BF was, she mentioned that she'd been with him for 6 years, but I know from experience that women who've been in relationships this long are often looking to monkey branch at this juncture. In any case, I've learned to discard what women say during the interaction and focus solely on the body language and judging from the latter it was clear that there was physical attraction and that it was quite strong. It wasn't just clear from this, the sexual vibe was palpable and it was extremely frustrating not being able to act on it.
Incidentally, a very similar thing also happened in one of my other sets today, with the girl telling me that she would have dated me had she not had a BF (she was also showing quite strong IOIs through her body language), so I was inclined to treat her utterance as perhaps not just a polite brush-off. But here's the deal: the thing that was common to both of these sets was that when I persisted after they'd dropped the BF bomb, I could feel a spike in the sexual temperature of the interaction go up significantly. With this second girl, when she dropped the BF bomb on me, I simply told her flat out, "I don't care, I still want to meet up with you" looking her very seductively in the eye and then giving her an up and down glance, in which I really take in her assets. I could tell from how hesitant she was in answering me with another no and from the fact that she didn't seem in any hurry to either move away from me (she had already come in quite close as the interaction progressed) that she was - like the nerdy girl - at least tempted and intrigued.
I hadn't intended to inject any sexual tension strategically into these interactions by responding in the way I did, it simply happened spontaneously as a result of how I was feeling at the time. But on the way home, feeling on the one hand quite pleased with myself but, on the other hand, very frustrated - not least sexually - that I hadn't been able to progress these sets to their natural conclusion, I started to become vexed over how to proceed in the future. Given that it was precisely in those moments when I really made it clear that I wanted these girls sexually, the response from the girls was clearly the most sexually positive - even though they felt they had to say no for the sake of having a BF - I was wondering whether I can use this tactic in the future, but in a more consistent and forthright manner to finally get the lay from my direct approaches. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to cracking the code in my interactions, in terms of how many women are responding positively to me, but I keep stopping short of the goal by having to march my troops back down the hill again when the BF bomb gets dropped on me. As I sat on the tram tonight going home, I found myself thinking, "Fuck it, next time I'm just going to tell them I want to bang them there and then and see how they respond." Yes, this is pretty crass, I know, but whenever I've really pushed the boundaries to the point where I thought the woman would take offence, I've actually found she's responded even more positively, as paradoxical as that might sound to some on here.
What do you guys think on here about this idea? When I feel that a girl is sexually attracted enough, although her words coming out of her mouth are formally, "I can't, I've got a BF", should I just go for broke and offer to lay her there and then? I really need to end a multi-year dry spell (3 years and 1 month now) and so I really don't care very much what I need to do here, and I can sense that there's definitely a subset of girls that I'm attracted to who are tempted, but for whom I might just need to adopt an even more persistent approach. Or is my thinking way off base here? I'd really appreciate the input of some more experienced guys on here, since all I've got at the moment is the fishbowl of my own head to bounce these thoughts around in, which really isn't helping much.