[ksbms]

(04-28-2017 12:37 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

If she's truly receptive to the "possibility of you" it's indicative of a less than"100% happy" in her current situation. There's a crack there

This is the key. No couple is 100% happy all the time. Also, we can quite reasonably stipulate, that the happiness is inversely proportional to the length of the average relationship, for most girls look for excitement, butterflies in their stomach and adventure most of the time. Inevitably, majority of men, as time goes by, will slip with their alphaness (if there was any to begin with) and, as PT wrote, the cracks will come out bigger and bigger (and neurochemical stimulation of various positive neurotransmitters begins to wear off) and at some point, consciously or not, a girl will begin to look around for a better deal (which, again, will show cracks there and the circle repeats).

If we increase the cycles and number of girls, I think, again, simplifying, from the pool of all girls who are dating (and not seriously considering marriage with a particular male), all girls are somewhat (some more, some less) open for possibility to swing on another branch minus the girls who are in the first 6-24 months of dating. Various statistics indicate different lengths but a rough estimate for Western countries, is that relationships last, on average 2.5 years, however we can safely, I think, discount last 6 months, when the things usually got too sour to even count. But the experience shows that often things begin to go South after 6 months so let's average, 6 +2 4 / 2 = 15 months

Hence, conservatively speaking, we'd talk about 15 months a girl who is dating properly, would be pretty much unavailable when she claims 'I have a boyfriend'.

The only problem is we don't know which part of this cycle a girl is in. However, simplification it is, for a sufficiently big number say, 1000 girls, each of them will have, started dating at some point in these 15 months' time. With equal distribution over 15 months , we'd have. 66.6 girls beginning dating each month. If we assume, which seems quite reasonable, that the first six months are more or less, honeymoon phase, than nearly 2/5 of girls are off the charts. But the good news, the other 3/5 of girls, whose dating phase is past 6 months will become somewhat open to consider swinging onto a new branch, as long as the contender is perceived by her as having the things she deems attractive. And her openness will begin to increase with time where we can assume around 1.5 years mark she will seriously consider monkey branching unless a guy has good game.

In conclusion, out of 1000 girls approached randomly, and who'd claim that they have a boyfriend, with a very rough estimation, we could say that these ones who wouldn't be open in the slightest to go out on a date, would be ~400. Which means, that you should push forward because ~600 of the girls who will say 'I have a boyfriend', are at least somewhat open to sample what's out there and as long as you project what she's looking for, you should have a shot at a potential date. Now, there are plenty other variables but what I intended to show, one should not get discouraged at all and use this approximate heuristic as a guidance.

Even if the odds are smaller, such that 1/5 of the girls, instead of 3/5, that is 60% who claim that they have boyfriend are open to monkey branching, these are still good odds, and as it has been noticed by PT above, a truly attractive girls is never single because due to the number of suitors who are in continuous supply she never has to nor has an incentive to be truly single for more than a few days or weeks at most.

In short, never get discouraged and, ignore the boyfriend objection, or dismiss if necessary and confidently push for getting at least a number if not a date. Because even if she's "really" happy in a relationship, within the timeframe of reasonably happy relationship of 15 months, statistically, you'll catch her around the mark of 7.5 months in, hence on average, within 7.5 months time she'll be truly back on the market. Proposed numbers my deviate quite a bit from the real data (if there is any good data capturing the dynamics of relationships) but I think there's some good rationale behind ignoring a girl's stating the fact she's got a boyfriend. Press on.