Quote: (02-15-2017 03:36 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:
Spend a few years in the military and it'll be obvious the difference between the two. The one who shouts the loudest, threatens the most and cracks the whip the most often is rarely the best leader, and usually doesn't last long. By contrast, being a good leader does not mean winning a popularity contest. If the troops have faith that the leader knows what the hell he is doing, they can generally accept some level of unpleasantries as they are usually not doled out gratuitously. Leaders who feel the need to control everything and flip out over trivialities do not inspire followers.
Translated into game - does your girl get the feeling you know what the hell you're doing? Then you've inspired respect (not fear) and you're doing it right.
Definitely the best example. Yet this thread is for me another case of "alpha is the answer" aka attribute any and all qualities to alpha. An alpha male isn't perfection on earth (it doesn't exist, right?) and has shortcomings. So please stop answering "be alpha" to anything.
So back to the topic: let me tell you about symmetry in psychology. It's when someone is angry in an interaction, then he makes the other one angry which in turn make the 1st person more angry and so on... When you adopt this strategy (the controlling asshole), people will not be receptive to your message and will league against you because they think you're bad/stupid/etc. That is a bad way to "control" a person.
On the other hand, when you coldly explain to the person why you don't like their behavior (by providing rational arguments, even maybe make a fake smile), they will receive this message tremendously differently. They can't blame you (you're calm, you provide arguments) so they have no choice than to blame themselves: what is wrong with me? Is he right? As a result, they are more receptive to influence, you can control them better. You are the alpha leader. Trust me, I use this stuff a lot...
In addition I agree: alpha leader do tolerate minor inconvenience. The controlling asshole doesn't because his behavior is just another form of neediness: he knows he's fighting a losing battle.
Make men great again!