Quote: (02-13-2017 03:23 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:
@Birthday Cat - no this is a site for MEN, so OP should understand we are trying to help him.
I am beyond curious as to what the conversation would have been on the first date.
I have a feeling it was like two pen pals talking and meeting for the first time.
I appreciate the blunt honesty of Birthday Cat's post, but it misses the point with this girl, since she was exclusively looking at me through the lens of me being a useful mug who would correct her English work. All attempts at kino, playful teasing, et.c., weren't getting me anywhere with this girl. To suggest, as some posters have done, that I should have gone in hard and heavy, doesn't take into account that this girl was putting up very clear boundaries regarding what she wanted me for.
The general point of Birthday Cat, that it's my general mindset that needs to change, is, I grudgingly admit, correct.
Today, something snapped in me and I went on a daygame spree in Leipzig - I hit the bookstores, two of the malls, the supermarkets, the shoe shop and even worked the trams and have only just come back home. I surprised myself with the results, in that they shone a bright light on how stuck in my own head I had become. Even though I broke through my approach anxiety barrier again today, my main sticking point with daygame, I've come to realize, is that even when the interaction is going well, I bail out too quickly, as if I'm cashing my chips in while I'm ahead, as idiotic as that must sound to those reading this.
The last girl I approached, probably mid-20s, tall, was a little overweight but otherwise a solid 6 with some nice curves. I noticed that she was wearing laddered black tights so I eventually saunter up to her and ask her, "So, what happened to your tights, then? Did you have a run in with your cats?". At first she was taken aback a little that I'd opened her, but when she realized, after a few more questions and general banter, that I was flirting with her, I could see how her face was lighting up. Being the total fucking idiot that I am, I bailed before pushing the interaction any further, for reasons which I have yet to fully work out myself. I'm still kicking myself now.
The one thing that's become blindingly clear to me over the last few days is I'm not approaching women in anywhere near the numbers I need to. This is the reason I'm now making daygame my number one priority.
But thanks guys for your support. I accept that I'm stubborn and often seem to turn a deaf ear - although that also has its good sides, too - but some of what's been said on here in response to my experiences I've had difficulty processing.