Recently, I found out that my old boss - a man I thought I could be absolutely open and honest - with had actually been trashing me in a conversation he had with my in-laws.
The job was everything from putting in flooring at people's houses to new siding on a hotel. I was my absolute unfiltered self around him. Talked about everything from our wives and even sex lives to issues we saw in the Church.
Note I actually found out that my boss went to the same mega church my in-laws go to and that me and my wife have attended a few times.
My wife wasn't even supposed to know, but her parents told her everything my old boss had said and it planted massive seeds of distrust. He managed to tell the "truth" about me in ways that could hurt me most, while sprinkling a few lies in there.
When I found out, I was dumbfounded and flabbergasted. It almost felt like I had been cheated on - which shocked me as well. (It's like he had cut me.) I recall conversations with him in his truck with our co-worker back and forth about issues we saw in culture, church, family, etc.
In one conversation he complained about how people would broadcast from the rooftops their Christianity- currently I live in the Biblebelt - while doing all sorts of heinous things to people and being shady in their businesses, lives, etc.
What bugs me so much, and what keeps it stuck in my head is WHY? I thought for a second it could be a jealousy issue - his kids are adopted and his wife has had numerous miscarriages, meanwhile I'm on my second coming up. But I never saw him as a jealous type, just real down to earth.
In fact, I had kept in contact with him after he left me go - he had found someone with better skills than I had or could learn at that point - and I honestly thought he would have talked to me about any perceived slights, issues, etc.
To be honest, it's thrown me for a loop momentarily. So I ask all of you gentleman; have you experienced this and how did you handle/cope with it? I know a few of you have had some nasty backstabs and I'm wondering what you did to overcome the shock of it.
I take part of the blame in that I'm very honest about who I am and that made it easy to trash me. I do believe I need to be more selective in the future.
The job was everything from putting in flooring at people's houses to new siding on a hotel. I was my absolute unfiltered self around him. Talked about everything from our wives and even sex lives to issues we saw in the Church.
Note I actually found out that my boss went to the same mega church my in-laws go to and that me and my wife have attended a few times.
My wife wasn't even supposed to know, but her parents told her everything my old boss had said and it planted massive seeds of distrust. He managed to tell the "truth" about me in ways that could hurt me most, while sprinkling a few lies in there.
When I found out, I was dumbfounded and flabbergasted. It almost felt like I had been cheated on - which shocked me as well. (It's like he had cut me.) I recall conversations with him in his truck with our co-worker back and forth about issues we saw in culture, church, family, etc.
In one conversation he complained about how people would broadcast from the rooftops their Christianity- currently I live in the Biblebelt - while doing all sorts of heinous things to people and being shady in their businesses, lives, etc.
What bugs me so much, and what keeps it stuck in my head is WHY? I thought for a second it could be a jealousy issue - his kids are adopted and his wife has had numerous miscarriages, meanwhile I'm on my second coming up. But I never saw him as a jealous type, just real down to earth.
In fact, I had kept in contact with him after he left me go - he had found someone with better skills than I had or could learn at that point - and I honestly thought he would have talked to me about any perceived slights, issues, etc.
To be honest, it's thrown me for a loop momentarily. So I ask all of you gentleman; have you experienced this and how did you handle/cope with it? I know a few of you have had some nasty backstabs and I'm wondering what you did to overcome the shock of it.
I take part of the blame in that I'm very honest about who I am and that made it easy to trash me. I do believe I need to be more selective in the future.