Just some late-night thoughts so bear with me if this comes off as obvious, but I've synthesized some conversations with my exes and current girlfriend and had a bit of an epiphany.
To us, the downside of being a man is clear. By nature, we are powerless in the dating market. Those who aren't gifted with exceptional looks or charisma (and find themselves single at any point after college) have to put in unfathomable effort just to have a fighting chance at landing a 6 whose only self-improvement sacrifice is avoiding obesity. Despite devoting full-time job level commitment to self-improvement and game, I've gone through massive dry spells where rejection was not an event but a continuous background noise to my everyday existence, and mediocre women who never had to give dating success a second thought by virtue of being young, female, and not hideous, were empowered to treat me with the expendability of a pile of dog shit. And I have no doubt most men on here can relate to that.
Here's what I've realized, and again forgive me if this is obvious: Women have absolutely no idea that any of this occurs. It's not that they're dismissive of it, or that they don't think it's a big deal. They just don't have any clue that's how it is for a man.
The dilemma is, we don't pour out our souls about the brutality of dating to women we want to fuck, for obvious reasons. And when I drop little breadcrumbs about what our dating situation is like, it becomes clear that women have zero idea any issue even exists. For example, in conversations with exes/fuck buddies/female friends/current girlfriend:
If I mention how my friends and I are often rudely rejected at bars, they're shocked and confused, and assume we must have been acting ridiculous.
If I mention that dating platforms have way more male than female users, they look skeptical/confused, and sometimes even say they thought it was the other way around.
I've had multiple girls tell me how they helped their beta guy friend set up a dating profile, and then wonder why he "isn't having any luck."
If I mention how dating sites are chock full of obese girls whose profiles mostly consist of ridiculous demands (e.g. Do not contact me if you're under 6 ft), they are a little bewildered.
When they talk about beta guys who have obsessed over them, they chalk up the guys' overbearing behavior to entitlement rather than desperation.
If I mention that I've set up dates with girls only to have them ghost before the date ever happened, they are appalled, and assume it must have been some crazy situation. When I clarify that this is a routine occurrence that has happened to me over 10 times, they can't believe it.
Basically, the girls who have wanted to fuck me assume most other girls would want to fuck me also, and could never imagine that I have to approach/message/swipe hundreds of girls just to come across one case where there's some mutual interest.
I'm not saying we need to educate women about this stuff, because it really doesn't tangibly impact anything, I'm just rambling on about something I find interesting. Women are so keenly cognizant of the upsides of being a man (e.g. not bleeding every month, not having to be pregnant, having a little more leeway to be overweight), yet haven't even considered that any downsides exist.
To us, the downside of being a man is clear. By nature, we are powerless in the dating market. Those who aren't gifted with exceptional looks or charisma (and find themselves single at any point after college) have to put in unfathomable effort just to have a fighting chance at landing a 6 whose only self-improvement sacrifice is avoiding obesity. Despite devoting full-time job level commitment to self-improvement and game, I've gone through massive dry spells where rejection was not an event but a continuous background noise to my everyday existence, and mediocre women who never had to give dating success a second thought by virtue of being young, female, and not hideous, were empowered to treat me with the expendability of a pile of dog shit. And I have no doubt most men on here can relate to that.
Here's what I've realized, and again forgive me if this is obvious: Women have absolutely no idea that any of this occurs. It's not that they're dismissive of it, or that they don't think it's a big deal. They just don't have any clue that's how it is for a man.
The dilemma is, we don't pour out our souls about the brutality of dating to women we want to fuck, for obvious reasons. And when I drop little breadcrumbs about what our dating situation is like, it becomes clear that women have zero idea any issue even exists. For example, in conversations with exes/fuck buddies/female friends/current girlfriend:
If I mention how my friends and I are often rudely rejected at bars, they're shocked and confused, and assume we must have been acting ridiculous.
If I mention that dating platforms have way more male than female users, they look skeptical/confused, and sometimes even say they thought it was the other way around.
I've had multiple girls tell me how they helped their beta guy friend set up a dating profile, and then wonder why he "isn't having any luck."
If I mention how dating sites are chock full of obese girls whose profiles mostly consist of ridiculous demands (e.g. Do not contact me if you're under 6 ft), they are a little bewildered.
When they talk about beta guys who have obsessed over them, they chalk up the guys' overbearing behavior to entitlement rather than desperation.
If I mention that I've set up dates with girls only to have them ghost before the date ever happened, they are appalled, and assume it must have been some crazy situation. When I clarify that this is a routine occurrence that has happened to me over 10 times, they can't believe it.
Basically, the girls who have wanted to fuck me assume most other girls would want to fuck me also, and could never imagine that I have to approach/message/swipe hundreds of girls just to come across one case where there's some mutual interest.
I'm not saying we need to educate women about this stuff, because it really doesn't tangibly impact anything, I'm just rambling on about something I find interesting. Women are so keenly cognizant of the upsides of being a man (e.g. not bleeding every month, not having to be pregnant, having a little more leeway to be overweight), yet haven't even considered that any downsides exist.