Thank you all and I am glad it spurred some discussion as I don't believe there is a uniform way for all girls, relationships and circumstances.
We have already had the 'where is this going' talk and she has been draining ever since.
I called her out on this and made it clear that our lives are going in a separate path.
It just comes down to lining up our next train to hop on out of here, mine and hers. Playas might disagree but ultimately, I want to leave her better off and in a good position to continue her life with the positive momentum that's left.
Ultimately, for me, it just comes down to the logistical manner of moving out and finding another place, social circles and shit like that.
The talk is easy and straightforward, she respects my decisions no matter what.
DaveR, thank you for the link. Here in South Africa, it's not so applicable as we have been living for around 6 months together and I am weary of the 1 year mark.
Onto, I sincerely appreciate your honesty and regardless of hoes being hoes, this girl deserves a proper let down. It comes down to my own principles, avoiding bad blood (social circles) and most importantly, damage control.
To me it is clear, from the moment it is over, I bounce. We share nothing apart from a couch we bought together. Everything else is either hers or mine. We pay our bills equally and the lease is in her name.
I tried to set it up as easy to escape from the start, due to my nature of moving around. She noticed this and said it undermines our relationship but fundamentally, it is an insurance.
Just to add, planting seeds helps and makes it easier to deliver the final 'blow' when required, instead of leaving it to one monumental discussion overflowing with tears.
Serious Sam, I like your approach but it's also a bit too rational. Throwing in some buzzwords like 'how I feel' is good; speaking womanese at times helps I find. Even if it comes off as soft.
I mean, at that point, you're already past caring what she thinks of you; if it takes 1 day at the end for her to ignore the 730 days prior then that is the price you pay to avoid a bullet.
I reiterate, she has not strayed at all, she has literally done nothing wrong. I enjoy her company and her as an individual but she wants to lock me down with marriage further down the line and I cannot commit nor do I like wasting peoples' time and distorting expectations.
My focus is straying and I need to do what's right for me. Rather now than another year down the line with more resentment from her.
Thank you all for your opinions and suggestions.
We have already had the 'where is this going' talk and she has been draining ever since.
I called her out on this and made it clear that our lives are going in a separate path.
It just comes down to lining up our next train to hop on out of here, mine and hers. Playas might disagree but ultimately, I want to leave her better off and in a good position to continue her life with the positive momentum that's left.
Ultimately, for me, it just comes down to the logistical manner of moving out and finding another place, social circles and shit like that.
The talk is easy and straightforward, she respects my decisions no matter what.
DaveR, thank you for the link. Here in South Africa, it's not so applicable as we have been living for around 6 months together and I am weary of the 1 year mark.
Onto, I sincerely appreciate your honesty and regardless of hoes being hoes, this girl deserves a proper let down. It comes down to my own principles, avoiding bad blood (social circles) and most importantly, damage control.
To me it is clear, from the moment it is over, I bounce. We share nothing apart from a couch we bought together. Everything else is either hers or mine. We pay our bills equally and the lease is in her name.
I tried to set it up as easy to escape from the start, due to my nature of moving around. She noticed this and said it undermines our relationship but fundamentally, it is an insurance.
Just to add, planting seeds helps and makes it easier to deliver the final 'blow' when required, instead of leaving it to one monumental discussion overflowing with tears.
Serious Sam, I like your approach but it's also a bit too rational. Throwing in some buzzwords like 'how I feel' is good; speaking womanese at times helps I find. Even if it comes off as soft.
I mean, at that point, you're already past caring what she thinks of you; if it takes 1 day at the end for her to ignore the 730 days prior then that is the price you pay to avoid a bullet.
I reiterate, she has not strayed at all, she has literally done nothing wrong. I enjoy her company and her as an individual but she wants to lock me down with marriage further down the line and I cannot commit nor do I like wasting peoples' time and distorting expectations.
My focus is straying and I need to do what's right for me. Rather now than another year down the line with more resentment from her.
Thank you all for your opinions and suggestions.