Quote: (10-30-2016 01:57 AM)puckerman Wrote:
Often at the beginning and the end of the meeting, we would hug. And she certainly seemed cool with it.
There's a certain percentage of girls who will seem really sweet and approachable and then ruthlessly talk shit behind your back. They do this to everyone. Of course, the worse your game is (or if you're fat or whatever), the more you give them to make fun of. But they were going to talk shit anyway, just because you made the mistake of interacting with them beyond the bare minimum required by the situation.
Part of the problem sometimes is that they too lack the social skills to know how to reject you to your face in a tactful way, or they're afraid of how you'll respond. If she already tried to signal her discomfort but you didn't pick up on it, that could be another problem. Being passive aggressive, and being afraid to use anything but subtle and ambiguous signals to indicate displeasure, go hand in hand.
I've run into this problem a couple times. If a girl, especially an attractive girl, is being just a little bit too nice and approachable to be believable, and/or you've noticed she likes to badmouth people behind their backs Mean Girls-style, watch out. After you get burned a few times, you'll probably be able to pick up on the clues that a girl is like that.
Certain types of organizations and roles also tend to attract that kind of chick, I've noticed. So, that's another clue. A lot of them have made it into managerial positions by mastering passive aggressive ways of dealing with men. On the other hand, there are also some women who are total losers and ugly to boot, yet also are very skillful at being manipulative and destroying your reputation if you give them the chance, so you have to watch out for them too. There are a lot of untrustworthy people out there who can fuck you over pretty badly if you give them the opportunity, so you have to limit your exposure to unnecessary risk.
At this point, I'm really skeptical about women who seem superficially friendly and sweet, especially if I can't think of any particular reason why they should be that way toward me. Kind of like how you can assume a woman is a slut unless you have some reason to think she's not, you can assume women are bitches unless you have some reason to assume they're not, because modern women have a lot of influences (e.g. catty friends) that would tend to encourage them to act bitchy.
Years ago, I had this one co-worker whom I asked out to lunch, and she said yes, and a few days later we went on our lunch date. Then I asked her out on an evening/weekend date and she said yes again, but this time around she started coming up with lame excuses (saying she had evening classes at unpredictable times). So I finally got the hint.
Later, being the creepy weirdo psycho stalker I was, I hacked into her email account just to get some insight into what her thinking had been, and found out that she had asked a co-worker for advice on how to tactfully cancel our lunch date, but then gone to lunch with me anyway, I guess because she hadn't been able to think of an excuse to get out of it. Later, she mercilessly ridiculed me, and pretty much the whole company found out and was mocking me behind my back.
I did get revenge against her, which in a way I feel good about, because she arguably deserved some form of karma for her constant backstabbing of everyone, plus others arguably needed to learn a lesson; but in another way, I feel bad about because I may have gone too far, plus I breached my libertarian ethical code. Obviously, I should not have shat where I ate to begin with, but my friends had been egging me on and I didn't know any better.