[Benoit]

Utterly amazing article!

Self-parody has never been so good:

Quote:

The enemy: the Hoverer
Like clockwork, he would appear at my desk – the boss who could come up with any number of reasons to talk to me. As far as I could tell, his main objective was to casually stare down my shirt. The Hoverer is a neutered version of the creepy Mad Men–era ass-grabber that your mother or grandmother had to contend with, and while he may not actually cross a line, he’s always about two minutes away from asking you out (and if it weren’t for HR departments and sexual harassment policies, he probably would). He makes you uncomfortable – and you want him gone.

The fight move: the brush-off
Do not make yourself available for conversation. Plug in headphones. Look away. Call your own voicemail. If you must engage, keep your conversations short and say you have to get back to work.

The fight move: see something, say something
Keep a record of each and every creepy interaction, with the time, date and circumstances. If it continues, report him to HR.

Don't want to talk to a guy who's not hot enough? Act rudely socially awkward, then report him to HR for daring to speak to you!

Quote:

Here are a few places I have recently cried:

In bed.
In the bathroom of my office, crouched on the floor.
In a payphone that reeked of pee.
In front of the mirror trying to put on makeup, but crying every time the mascara wand hit my eye, resulting in black streaks that looked sort of sexy.
While watching a YouTube clip I later realised was branded content for Microsoft. Now I’m more depressed.
On every form of public transport: planes, cars, trains, subways, the bus, taxi. Also walking and cycling.
Outside my therapist’s office, which is next door to an STD clinic, which always felt like a very public statement.
In the shower, sitting down, wondering if I was going to get some kind of terrible vaginal infection from touching the porcelain.

Now I'm crying. With laughter.