Quote: (06-06-2016 06:47 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:
I agree that girls who indirectly approach you are worthwhile to start engaging with. If I'm standing at a mostly empty bar, and a girl walks up next to me, it's clearly not an unusual thought to wonder why she picked that spot, rather than any other of the empty stools down the line.
But keep in mind that girls love to play "Rapo", as coined by the book "Games People Play":
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1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Kiss Off’, is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and gets her pleasure from the man’s pursuit. As soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ‘I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much’, and move on to the next conquest. If she is less generous, she may simply leave him.
Girls do this in online game from time to time as well...I've had a fair number of girls open me directly on OKC, conversation goes well, but when you pitch the date they still say "Well, you know I'm really busy. I don't think I can make it work this week" or "I'm mostly here for new friends", leaving you thinking "What was the point of that?" Well, from her perspective there was a point - she gained validation from your interest and that was satisfactory.
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I see this a LOT. A younger version of myself would constantly ask 'she did that or said this, does that mean she likes me?????'. Allowing your desire for a girl to lead you to extrude a definite answer from patently inadequate information is foolhardy, as I am sure many here have learned the hard way. I certainly have.
Obviously we would all like to have a perfect filter to sort the attention / validation seekers from the cases of genuine interest. But in lieu of such a filter, I think that it is much better to assume that all approaches are time wasters until proven otherwise. This is because:
1. For the majority of us who aren't mega rich / famous etc and in the current toxic Western female environment, the time wasters will vastly outnumber the genuine IOIs.
2. Not jumping at the bait first off will to the genuine IOI come across as abundance mentality which as we all know can only benefit you. If as a universal default you remain polite, but cursory, you are not going to close any doors worth sticking your member through.