This sounds a bit odd, but I stay in the moment by reminding myself to take off my "Social Hat."
Anytime an introvert tries (key word: "tries") to replicate an extrovert in social situations, he does exactly what you're doing. You're thinking about what's going on, what to say, and you're evaluating every single aspect of every single interaction. Say nothing for the fact that you're doing all of this while playing an extroverted role....
That's a lot of multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is doing a bunch of different things at once, poorly.
^ I'm not making fun. I did this exact same thing until very recently.
Now I say the following to myself before I go to a party or an event: "No place I'd rather be, no people I'd rather see, and no social hat for me."
"No place I'd rather be, no people I'd rather see," is something from Danger and Play. I'm here at this party, event, meeting, or whatever, and I'm going to enjoy it.
"...and no social hat for me." I'm not going to try so damn hard to be someone I'm not personality-wise.
So, I let the socialization come to me. I don't stress about any of the million little things (said and unsaid) that make up an interaction while conversing because I'm not trying. Again, this might seem odd, but it works.
I'm convinced that introverts can cancel out good qualities (looking good, having dope style, having good stories to tell) by trying to play an extroverted role. We're so conditioned to be that extroverted person that we naturally go into "social mode" when we're at an event. Whether people can explain why or not, they'll just thing that something's a bit "off" about you.
Remind yourself to take off your social hat and I bet you'll have better interactions.
Anytime an introvert tries (key word: "tries") to replicate an extrovert in social situations, he does exactly what you're doing. You're thinking about what's going on, what to say, and you're evaluating every single aspect of every single interaction. Say nothing for the fact that you're doing all of this while playing an extroverted role....
That's a lot of multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is doing a bunch of different things at once, poorly.
^ I'm not making fun. I did this exact same thing until very recently.
Now I say the following to myself before I go to a party or an event: "No place I'd rather be, no people I'd rather see, and no social hat for me."
"No place I'd rather be, no people I'd rather see," is something from Danger and Play. I'm here at this party, event, meeting, or whatever, and I'm going to enjoy it.
"...and no social hat for me." I'm not going to try so damn hard to be someone I'm not personality-wise.
So, I let the socialization come to me. I don't stress about any of the million little things (said and unsaid) that make up an interaction while conversing because I'm not trying. Again, this might seem odd, but it works.
I'm convinced that introverts can cancel out good qualities (looking good, having dope style, having good stories to tell) by trying to play an extroverted role. We're so conditioned to be that extroverted person that we naturally go into "social mode" when we're at an event. Whether people can explain why or not, they'll just thing that something's a bit "off" about you.
Remind yourself to take off your social hat and I bet you'll have better interactions.