Although I am a total newbie, I decided to post this in the travel section. I have been reading here a few months and really acknowledge much of the info because it really makes sense to me. I downloaded the entire series incl all books and audios. In particular I have been reading “Don’t bang Denmark” because it relates to me and listening to the audio books when driving the car.
These two contributions triggered me to post here:
thread-43772.html
archive/inde...195-1.html
Short version
What countries are ideal for meeting women if you are the more introvert (but not particularly shy) type of guy?
Long version
I will try to describe as accurate as possible
Although I don’t have a lot of true experience, I would like to comment on the guide because it relates to my situation. But also because it backs up my experience so far:
Section II discusses girls and is split into “Body and appearance”, “Personality and vibe”, “Types of Danish girls” and “Approach index”. Roosh states that most Danish girls are ugly. I cannot relate to that. I find them equally beautiful/hot compared to other Scandinavian/Nordic and even German girls. Maybe I have low standards? Of course there are fatties and those with military boots, those with shaved hair etc, but the slim ones are hot if asking me. But maybe my standard is too low :-). I am happy with a 6 or 7 (non-fat of course) … I am not looking to bang 9s and 10s.
Anyway, the section “Personality and vibe” made me happy. Asking me, this section is 95% spot on (and that is terrifying) - and explains partly why I had such a low success rate so far. It is scary, but it also tells me that Roosh probably is spot on when describing other countries. The section “Types of Danish girls” is approx. 80% spot on I would say. And I cannot relate to the “Approach index” section :-). I think my percentages are quite spot on for CPH - but if you move to the coutryside (like small town america) then things look MUCH better personality and vibe-vise. Girls are westernized/feminized very quickly when moving to CPH. During the last couple of years I have increased my skills on having a good and strong eye contact with girls I pass on the street - the problem is, however, that the girls either look on their smartphone or somewhere else - they are not interested in eye contact - at least most of them.
What do I want?
Basically I am a happy person and I don’t need girls in my life. I know this will probably change once I get the V-card. But it would be sad looking back at my life realizing that I never conquered that part - and this is why I need to do something about it now - before it is too late. I think the worst advice a man can get is from his mother, other females and women magazines telling him to be himself and he will find a girl soon. Only in forums like this one, people agree on doing the opposite. Because nothing will happen unless you change - the girls will never change for you.
The main driver for this posting is a venue change as the title says (for an introvert) and then simultaneously combine it with meeting girls in a comfortable environment. And later ultimately the V-card. After 10 years working I am no more interested in corporate life because it gets you nowhere. Well - it gets you somewhere: A surefire and boring way towards normal retirement. If you don’t watch out, you have been working your ass off for some stock investors your entire life doing thousands of useless powerpoints and excel spreadsheets that will absolutely contribute to no added value in the World. Most people with my educational level just want to work the corporate ladder, ask for bigger paychecks, do even more useless powerpoints, have a few divorces, less sex with the wife every year, change job for another big corporation and the treadmill starts all over again. However, I admit, if I had a wife + kids I would probably do the same - because I need this enormous cashflow every single month to pay for all the bills.
Somehow I feel I am stuck here. If I continue in my current job with my current daily tasks, hobbies, interests, family get-to-gethers etc, nothing will change and I will grow old alone. Growing old alone is basically not a problem because I have such a strong mind and positive view on life that I will never get a depression and make some “stupid decisions”. But in my mind it is absolutely ridiculous not to have banged a girl, tried a LTR, marriage, children etc. Basically I need a kick in the butt, and unfortunately nobody in my close circles will do it for me. But what worries me is the second link in my post above: The guy describes how he moved from Australia to London and nothing changed in his life. That worries me. So I need to do it better :-). And maybe you guys have some ideas for that?
Improvements
What I personally believe would improve my results as fast as possible:
By reading numerous posts here I came up with the following ideas. Reading about the experiences from other forum members I could relate to them and somehow see myself doing the same. Maybe some of you can chime in:
So far I am not decided on whether I should do a full eject with some +1 year relocation starting a life elsewhere or some semi eject with lets say 1-12 months of “vacation” and turning back home again, the latter being something like a long backpacking trip.
Recommendations
So based on this long post what recommendations do you have for an introvert who is looking to meet girls and who is interested in enhancing the possibilities by going somewhere else. I know it sounds silly, but basically need to be “friendzoned” a lot, get used to girls, get comfortable with girls … and then later go for the bang and hence the v-card. Even though it is tempting - I think it would be more wise to take it slow.
idane
These two contributions triggered me to post here:
thread-43772.html
archive/inde...195-1.html
Short version
What countries are ideal for meeting women if you are the more introvert (but not particularly shy) type of guy?
Long version
I will try to describe as accurate as possible
- Country: Denmark
- Age: 36
- Height: 5’10
- Weight: 155 lbs
- Ethnicity: Caucasian
- Languages: English, German, French.
- Body features: Dark hair, brown eyes, no baldness. No yellowish teeth, no bad posture, no disappearing hair, no grey hair. Not the stereotypical Scandinavian blond look. Look younger for my age.
- Diseases: No diseases, no prescriptions.
- Personality: I consider myself an introvert, but not shy. According to Myers Briggs, 50% of any given population is introvert - but western society is targeted towards extroverts only - it basically means that a lot of introverts try to fit in very hard on the outside - but on the inside they are dissatisfied. Even though I am introvert I consider myself friendly and helpful - even to strangers.
- Tool size: Normal, average - I am not dissatisfied.
- Fitness level/Physique: Normal/slim body type, good fitness level without doing any exercises - I am blessed. Do not attend gyms as I don’t feel a need to build muscles.
- Education: Two higher completed university degrees.
- Education plans: Going “reverse”: Rather than going into management and make more money, I would rather consider something that improves my everyday skills.
- Career plans: No intention of working the corporate ladder. I am tired of corporate life and want to do something entirely different. Maybe early retirement.
- Career position: Specialist.
- Financial situation: Annual income about 100000 USD before taxes. No mortgages, no loans, no financial burden at all. Saving of 150000 USD.
Living situation: Rental apartment - very easy ejection to somewhere else. No room mates. - Past experience: None. Still need my V-card. Late start. School was bad from a girl-social point of view. High school did not help either. In college I moved into a dorm with both boys and girls and it was a major step up social wise. But no bangs, no kisses - just superficial communications, lots of parties but with no bangs, kisses, making out etc. In the dorm the 80/20 rule was at work: 20% of the guys banged 80% of the girls. At the moment I am actually in the mood for going out (bars, clubs etc), but I would have to do it myself 100% because all the people I know are either married, have children or simply feel too old for that shit. But I would not be comfortable doing night game by myself with no experience at all. Prostitute no option whatsoever.
- Size of town: 1.5 million
- Usage of porn: I think average, normal - not excessive.
- Sex drive: In a future relationship I would not ask for sex every month. Rather every day.
- Free time: Various crafts/sports. I am never bored. I always have interesting things to do. I don’t feel miserable watching TV and playing video games and constantly become better at my hobbies and hone my skills, I read, watch, ask and become wiser every day. But at the cost of not meeting women.
- Consumption of drugs: None
- Consumption of alcohol: Almost none.
- Consumpton of tobacco: None
- Typical dress style: Casual, comfortable - not stylish.
- Friends/social engagement: “Problematic” as most friends don’t share the same values, do not have same interests, hobbies etc. Moreover most have moved into the marriage/children part of their life - so it is even more difficult. I have always tried to build friendships, inviting over for dinner, make some fun happenings, but they are never returned by the friends (male and female). After a while I loose interest because I have to do everything, nothing comes in return, and the social circle thing is reduced to almost nothing. I don’t feel comfortable at parties: Looking back I think that 90% of all parties were of no success or fun for me. I attribute this to my introvert behavior. It has to be intimate and personal before I enjoy it. And big venues are the direct opposite.
- My understanding of how dating works: Limited, except that girls rule the dating/marriage world. They choose the man and not vice versa. A man can only show up and show his best side, for instance gaming. If he fails, there will be another man showing up in her life trying to get her. Thus there is a stream of men offering themselves to a particular girl. At one point, for some reason, she chooses one of the men - and very often a bad decision - divorce rate is about 50%. Moreover, in order to have success you need to have chemistry: No matter how hot and receptive she is and how tight your game is - if you don’t have chemistry nothing will happen. Chemistry is typically revealed after a few seconds of conversation - either it feels good or it feels totally wrong - and there is nothing you can do about it. As a result you can have great online game, you can pipeline girls - everything is going well, but once you meet in reality everything feels wrong.
- Small talk: I like small talk, it is easy for me. It is my impression that men I communicate with are easy to small talk with, but girls cannot give proper feedback and are waiting for me all the time. It bores me. Again in accordance with Rooshes discoveries in Denmark.
- Goals: To successfully meet girls/women - not necessarily banging the first night. Realistic steps forward. I am not looking to become a PUA and bang girls like most of you do. That would be a stupid goal in my situation. I am looking for a way to increase my communication skills (baby steps). At the moment I dont feel this is possible with the culture where I live where 95% of all girls are looking constantly into their smartphone or have an attitude described in Rooshes travel book. I would like a situation where I can get a positive feedback without bitch shields, social circle dramas, cockblocking boyfriends, girlfriends etc.
- Dependence/Independence of others: Very independent of others - probably one of the biggest issues. Also have a very strong mind - I have no worries going to a party and ejecting fast doing something else because I get no interest from girls - I could not care less - I am not crying myself to sleep because I got no attention.
- Girl preferences/stadards: Slim girls. Ethnicity, hair color, eye color, skin color, boob size, ass size etc of no matter. But no fatties. Educational level of no importance. I am not looking for 10s or the hottest girls. I think a 6 is ok to begin with, I am just a bit realistic without excessive standards - as long as she is not a fattie :-).
- How do women react to me: Basically show no interest. A few years back I cranked up internet dating and went on 7 dates with local girls. The experience was very close to what Roosh describes in “Dont bang Denmark”: I had to do all the talking and got almost no response - basically a monologue. During the dates there was not the slightest hint of escalation. After the 7 dates with no positive outcome I went into hibernating mode again following all my dreams in terms of hobbies, travel etc.
- Approach anxiety: I am not sure if I have approach anxiety - something most betas struggle with. But if I have a very solid reason for approaching (she is doing something I can relate to, she is carrying something I can relate to) I have no anxiety even if she is a 10. But if she has nothing I can relate to, except her beauty, I cannot trick my brain to approach.
- Hangups: I dont like alcohol (if I liked it, I strongly believe that I already had my V-card already, multiple bangs/relationships in the past etc), I dont like loud parties (intimate parties are OK), I am too independent. Very low proximity to females: My job and my hobbies are utterly male dominated.
Although I don’t have a lot of true experience, I would like to comment on the guide because it relates to my situation. But also because it backs up my experience so far:
Section II discusses girls and is split into “Body and appearance”, “Personality and vibe”, “Types of Danish girls” and “Approach index”. Roosh states that most Danish girls are ugly. I cannot relate to that. I find them equally beautiful/hot compared to other Scandinavian/Nordic and even German girls. Maybe I have low standards? Of course there are fatties and those with military boots, those with shaved hair etc, but the slim ones are hot if asking me. But maybe my standard is too low :-). I am happy with a 6 or 7 (non-fat of course) … I am not looking to bang 9s and 10s.
Anyway, the section “Personality and vibe” made me happy. Asking me, this section is 95% spot on (and that is terrifying) - and explains partly why I had such a low success rate so far. It is scary, but it also tells me that Roosh probably is spot on when describing other countries. The section “Types of Danish girls” is approx. 80% spot on I would say. And I cannot relate to the “Approach index” section :-). I think my percentages are quite spot on for CPH - but if you move to the coutryside (like small town america) then things look MUCH better personality and vibe-vise. Girls are westernized/feminized very quickly when moving to CPH. During the last couple of years I have increased my skills on having a good and strong eye contact with girls I pass on the street - the problem is, however, that the girls either look on their smartphone or somewhere else - they are not interested in eye contact - at least most of them.
What do I want?
Basically I am a happy person and I don’t need girls in my life. I know this will probably change once I get the V-card. But it would be sad looking back at my life realizing that I never conquered that part - and this is why I need to do something about it now - before it is too late. I think the worst advice a man can get is from his mother, other females and women magazines telling him to be himself and he will find a girl soon. Only in forums like this one, people agree on doing the opposite. Because nothing will happen unless you change - the girls will never change for you.
The main driver for this posting is a venue change as the title says (for an introvert) and then simultaneously combine it with meeting girls in a comfortable environment. And later ultimately the V-card. After 10 years working I am no more interested in corporate life because it gets you nowhere. Well - it gets you somewhere: A surefire and boring way towards normal retirement. If you don’t watch out, you have been working your ass off for some stock investors your entire life doing thousands of useless powerpoints and excel spreadsheets that will absolutely contribute to no added value in the World. Most people with my educational level just want to work the corporate ladder, ask for bigger paychecks, do even more useless powerpoints, have a few divorces, less sex with the wife every year, change job for another big corporation and the treadmill starts all over again. However, I admit, if I had a wife + kids I would probably do the same - because I need this enormous cashflow every single month to pay for all the bills.
Somehow I feel I am stuck here. If I continue in my current job with my current daily tasks, hobbies, interests, family get-to-gethers etc, nothing will change and I will grow old alone. Growing old alone is basically not a problem because I have such a strong mind and positive view on life that I will never get a depression and make some “stupid decisions”. But in my mind it is absolutely ridiculous not to have banged a girl, tried a LTR, marriage, children etc. Basically I need a kick in the butt, and unfortunately nobody in my close circles will do it for me. But what worries me is the second link in my post above: The guy describes how he moved from Australia to London and nothing changed in his life. That worries me. So I need to do it better :-). And maybe you guys have some ideas for that?
Improvements
What I personally believe would improve my results as fast as possible:
- High female/male ratio: A high female/male ratio where girls automatically are attracted to the few men - because competition is in favor of the men and the girls have to struggle for attention.
- Isolated females: A very good thing would also be girls in an isolated environment where they are not disturbed by their phones - for instance meeting her on a mountain peak in the wilderness.
- Non Social circles: I realize that social circles are probably the best and most surefire ways to meet girls because they will feel comfortable and don’t have the same type of bitch shield - they are naturally more open and interested when introduced properly. I also realize that this would be the best way to meet girls, for instance at private parties, but I don’t have that circle at the moment. And I think it will be way uphill where I live now. And it would be even more uphill if I go abroad or travel. Thus, I probably need a solution that will require non-social circle settings.
By reading numerous posts here I came up with the following ideas. Reading about the experiences from other forum members I could relate to them and somehow see myself doing the same. Maybe some of you can chime in:
- Party hostels: I see party hostels as an interesting setup. It is extremely easy to make quick friends because there are no real social circles - people come from everywhere either solo or maybe as a couple. The great thing is - there are almost no social circles … well maybe many social circles with only 2 members: So everybody is looking to make new friends. The idea would be to make a list of party hostels in Europe and just go traveling for 2 months. Extra: I once was at a hostel in Miami Beach for one day - it had the vibe I was looking for - but again no good vibes at hostels without plenty of alcohol :-).
- Couchsurfing: Go traveling in Eastern Europe by car, train, bus etc and hook up with couch surfers where the main target is becoming part of their social circle so you can go out and meet all their friends at parties - then you don’t have to work bitch shields etc because you are introduced from the beginning.
- Work/holiday: Get a low wage job somewhere else (maybe exotic) where you meet a lot of girls - but bartending or bouncing would probably not be so wise.
- Iceland: According to Roosh, if you wait until the bars close - everything will settle automatically by itself to your favor :-).
- Poland: Based on Rooshes description, contrary to where I live, the girls are SO much more open and receptive. The country is close to mine which makes it attractive.
- Ukraine: Explore Ukraine because the guy/girl ratio is in the favor of men. I read a post about Kharkov or Kherson where the ratio is 70/30 in clubs. It has also been mentioned that Ukraine is difficult for gaming because the girls are very traditional and you rarely succeed in ONS or any rapid bangs: You have to work the girl for a long time - unlike most other countries. But I think this is good in my favor because I am not looking for quick bangs. Does anyone have info on Ukrainian contryside, i.e. staying away from big cities and traveling off the beaten track to meet girls? I know language might be a massive road block here.
- Going at all: Roosh mentions somewhere that if you cannot game or bang a woman in your own country, nothing will change if you go to another country. That is very depressing news. It basically solidifies the 2nd link at the beginning of this post.
So far I am not decided on whether I should do a full eject with some +1 year relocation starting a life elsewhere or some semi eject with lets say 1-12 months of “vacation” and turning back home again, the latter being something like a long backpacking trip.
Recommendations
So based on this long post what recommendations do you have for an introvert who is looking to meet girls and who is interested in enhancing the possibilities by going somewhere else. I know it sounds silly, but basically need to be “friendzoned” a lot, get used to girls, get comfortable with girls … and then later go for the bang and hence the v-card. Even though it is tempting - I think it would be more wise to take it slow.
idane